Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

I once put the charger cable from my brother's Sega Game Gear onto the tip of my tongue whilst it was plugged into the socket. I'm pretty sure I knew it wasn't a good idea, so god knows why I did it! I got a pretty bad shock, but it could have been much worse!

gatekeeper dressing up as french girls...hilarious story

Tried to get into a 15 rated film aged 12 by wearing red lipstick, dangly earrings and an 'I am 15' badge.

It didn't work.

When I was older I used to sit in the local park with friends drinking diamond white cider with a soluble paracetamol in it as we thought that would make you drunk quicker.

I thought of another one, that will totally out me to anyone who knows me, our common room was right outside the library, my 'gang' were the only ones to hang about there and the librarian hated us because we were noisy.

One day we all decided to write a note saying 'This library is under construction' and hang it on the door, but we didn't want our writing to be recognised so we all wrote a letter each and stuck it to the door and spent the whole lunch hour laughing as people walked up to the library door, read the note and walked off again and the librarian kept coming out wondering why there were no people in there, it was very funny, but pointless, and we left the note up after lunch time too.

We all ended up with a weeks worth of detention for that too.

Another time I faked being in pain to get out of PE and somehow ended up getting my appendix removed because of it. I wasn't sore at all.

I also used to follow boys that I fancied at lunch time and make a note of what they had for lunch, which is pretty creepy actually.

I once turned one of the gas taps on in biology and put a lit bunsen burner in front of it to see what would happen .

FYI A huge flame thrower effect , It gives you the measure of the school I went to that this wasn't even reported to my parents . I think I had to stand outside for the rest of the lesson .

I used to make up a dance routine and check out my reflection in the window, so the lights would be on, curtains open and there was me, dancing away to Starship Trouper while the neighbours' whose houses overlooked my bedroom window must have had a chuckle.

I once spent a maths lesson saying the word square as 'squeer' I was born in a different part of the country and have a slight accent but I say square normally. No idea why I decided I say it like that one day!

I wondered what would happen if you breathed in fizzy pop - really fizzy, just out of the can. Answer - it hurts like buggery

same friend and I also had a crush on two boys in our class but they didn't want to know.
We wrote to them pretending to be our French cousins Yvette and Marie who were coming over for a visit, (writing in pidgeon Franglais).

Arranged to meet near the chip shop two weeks later and me and friend wore striped tops, blonde wigs (nicked off my auntie Mary who had loads of them) black berets and sunglasses!

Ended up us getting chased by them whilst having chips thrown at us

We used to phone a teen sexual health line to get advice on stories we had made up. A particular favourite was saying we had used a tesco carrier bag instead of a condom and could we still get pregnant

I was also in absolute love with my Drama teacher for 2 years. He would find me "randomly" sitting outside his room, reading on a windowsill after every single lesson. I thought I was making an impression on him so I'd always be on his mind. I probably was, but it can only have been "twat". I once wrote a letter to his home address telling him how wonderful he was. I used my left hand so he wouldn't know it was me. I also considered stealing his jumper from his room one day, but for once I actually engaged my brain.

me and my friend used to go round old peoples bungalows where we lived and play our clarinets for them. We could only play 'Stranger on the Shore' and because we hadn't learned how to 'do' vibrato in lessons we used to shake our instruments instead!

The death rate increased dramatically...

Ha ha, these are hilariously brilliant already.

I once wore a shower cap out as a hat around town. Literally no idea why, but I do remember my head sweating like anything. Being able to see my sweaty head and damp hair must have been a real turn on to the 14 year old boys I was trying to impress no doubt.

After my first venture in to using fake tan, aged 15, someone asked me if I was wearing fake tan. I have no idea why I didn't just say yes, but invented this story about having spent the weekend in the south of France. Clearly this wasn't believable enough so then I told everyone my parents had just bought a house there for holidays. I was bright orange and streaky, my parents used to take us to Devon for holidays. And yet, I thought this was a believable lie....

I used to phone an adult gay chat line for a chat not sure what my 13yo self got out of it. It stopped when my parents decided to get itemised phone bills.

I had the worlds worst perm as a teen, expecting a cascade of tumbling waves and ended up with shampoo and set style old lady hair.

I made up lies. So many lies all the time. To be fair this was only at one secondary school (I went to several schools) and I was desperately unhappy and quite depressed. But I lied to everyone about everything. Bad lies, too, transparent, obvious lies.

Also in primary school me and another girl were punished for playing a game whereby we recited a rhyme as we slowly rolled up our skirts. I can still remember it: "One, two, three and four, come on boys if you want some more, five, six, seven, eight drop skirts sorry boys you're much too late!"
I am so embarrassed.

And yet we still ask our kids 'what made you do it???'

furlinedsheepskinjacket are you me? I did puppet shows too, endorsed by my bloody wonderful teacher. I have to admit I would be fucked off now if DS came home and told me he'd spent an hour or so a day listening to another child's stream of consciousness.

I have loads of these, I didn't get the lead role in our last school production so I ripped up the script and threw it at the Drama teacher.