Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

Three of us 12 year olds with a heavy crush on the only man in our girls' school, the physics teacher, staged and expedition to his remote country cottage via 3 buses and a long walk. We were looking particularly attractive, we thought, complete with shocking pink lipstick nicked from a mother's drawer. He was bound to fall for us we thought.

We were eating our picnic when the poor man spotted us outside his house and came out and in no uncertain terms asked us what we thought we were doing. We mumbled something about going on a hike and then did our long journey in reverse still wondering why he had not succumbed to our charms.

He left the school not long after and I often wonder how he explained to his wife what three of his pupils all with shocking pink lips were doing outside their lovenest.

marking my space

Do you remember clackers? Well, I didn't have them and really wanted them. So I tried to make my own. I took two small hollow rubber balls which we had in the house already - smothered them in vaseline (WHYYYYY?) - and got a pair of scissors to stab a hole in them through which I intended to push some string. Ended up in A & E getting my hand stitched up.

Also once I had a bottle of Cresta (strawberry flavour, I remember!) which I couldn't get the lid off. I started hitting the side of the lid off a piece of slate. Another trip to A & E ensued..

We used to put salad cream on our chocolate cake on Wednesday lunchtimes in the hope we would be sick and not have to play hockey last lesson. It never worked.

In year 9 I changed schools and was getting picked on for being a posh little goody 2 shoes so I made up loads of stories as to why I'd been expelled from the grammar, only I had to keep making the story more dramatic, by the end of it I'd convinced half the school I was some kind of master criminal, aided by my head of year who responded with 'we don't judge people by their past' I'd actually left my last school coz of bullying.

I am sitting here crying at Gatekeeper's French girls and can't read any further till my eyes stop leaking.

Some of you are complete nutters!

hootloop I did that too! (The not asking to go to the loo, not the oil killing song )

Keepthechange you've tipped me over the edge into hysterical laughter. The tears are rolling down my cheeks.

Thank you

Brilliant thread.

In P1 I got my hair tangled in my teacher's jacket button whilst reading to her. The most cringingly embarrassing moment in my life, boohoo.

Aged 13 I had a massive crush on the adult son of my parent's friends. I used to buy him chocolate and presents when he came home from uni and just generally follow him around.

And I am never allowed to forget it, because I have ended up married to one of his best friends.

keep getting through to Denise was the holy grail of wagging it activities. I never managed it well done.

Love this thread!

My friend and I used to bunk off school a lot and sit in her house making 'funny phone calls'. One day I called 'this morning' to speak on the subject 'getting married'. I spoke to a producer and told them a load of bullshit about being nervous/what if I get cold feet etc etc...lo and behold I was chosen to speak to Denise Robertson and I was live on tv talking about my pre wedding nerves( I was 13!) I couldn't even tell my family that I had been on TV that day because they would thought I had been to school.

Some of the fancying the teacher ones are making me cringe

We used to do prank calls.... on helplines on the back of packs of crisps / bottles of coke. Except we wouldn't have the guts to say anything too outrageous so would end up asking questions like "do you have any plans to bring out multi packs of 14 bags of crisps?'. Then hanging up and losing it giggling about how we had tricked the person on the other end of the phone!

I am Mermaid I was reading it again the other day for a laugh and just couldn't resist the name change!

We used to phone sexual health advice line with made up questions as well!! A favourite was "when you give a low job, are you actually supposed to blow?!" Haha!!

I had a massive crush on a lad who had left but came back to teach music (he was 4 year solder than me). I used to follow him around everywhere walk up and down outside his house etc.
A woman I went to a drama group with who was about 25 to my 15 advised to get him to like me I should make him think I wasn't bothered about him. So I marched up to him in a crowded room and spouted off about if he couldn't manage to be polite to me then he wasn't worthy of me or words to that effect then turned round and did a big drama filled walk off. He was just stood there looking at me like I was mad.

I love this thread!

I'm sure I could think of weird things I did.

Used to walk through our local indoor market with a friend thinking we were IT with a huge 'portable' stereo sitting on one shoulder with music blaring out. Boy did we think we were something

Oh God... I honestly don't know how I survived to adulthood with any friends! I honestly was BONKERS as a child.

My friend had a massive crush on our drama teacher. She was convinced that she could get him to leave his fiancee and propose to her instead. I was determine to help her with this mission. We talked in code a lot about our plans. We had elaborate plans to find out where he lived and get the ball rolling. We had planned on putting a paint can under his car, with a small hole in the paint can so we could follow the trail to his house as he drove home. I was obsessed by the student history teacher at the same time, and wrote a 12 chapter (say, about 30 pages long!) story about a girl who falls in love with her teacher, but luckily he falls in love with her too. Which I then asked both the drama and student history teacher to read.

When I was much younger (junior school) I stole a crystal that hung in lines from a lamp my aunt used to have. I was convinced it was a diamond and worth loads of money. I put it across one of my nostrils and accidentally got the crystal lodged up my nose. I couldn't get it back out. I was obsessed that I would get told off for stealing so I never told anybody. It was months before it came out again during a violent sneeze. I ended up having my nose cauterized after that, and never fessed up about how my nose could have been damaged!