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Original poster

What on earth is inside my pear?

389 replies

HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 07:59

Bleugh! Envy

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

What on earth is inside my pear?
OP posts:
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14
LackaDAISYcal · 05/02/2014 01:50

I fear for my family; they are also vair close to the McDonalds of Horror.
Thank God I got away before PearMageddon!

stripeygreensocks · 05/02/2014 00:41

Oh no, no, no. I'm not falling for that, has he burnt it yet?

KenAdams · 05/02/2014 00:38

WTF is wrong with me? Why do I continue to click on these threads, in the dead of night, no less?

I should leave the internet. Forever slight overreaction.

Allalonenow · 05/02/2014 00:25

OMG!!
Where did the picture with the teeth spring from?!!
That is the stuff of nightmares.

Have battened down the hatches here, as I noticed someone a few pages ago asked Hairy if she and her family were OK.
She has not replied Shock

I'm sorry now that I don't have a Zombie Apocalypse bag packed.

Misspixietrix · 04/02/2014 23:56

It's like the Weeping Angels in Doctor Who. You turn to stone if you touch one. Well. The same applies with Mutant pears OP. Now your Dh has touched it. It's already got him. It's going to eat away at his slowly but surely and all the whole he'll be growing his own little Pear baby Mouse nest. You'll wake up in the morning to a real life Mutant Hairy Peary man. Anyway sleep tight OP :)

santasballsackisnolonger · 04/02/2014 23:45

Humphhh I came back before bed to check that all ended well and im no wiser than when I first logged on this morning! A full day spent worrying about baby pear mice and hairys assimilation into mutant fruity furball! Please hairy potter just have water for breakfast!

FootieOnTheTelly · 04/02/2014 23:38

I love this thread Grin

Allalonenow · 04/02/2014 23:28

A pp mentioned a possible cross with avocado pear, but avocado used to be known as alligator pear {changed by Tesco probably) so that hasn't cheered me up much, as large teeth are now a feature.

LittleBabyPigsus · 04/02/2014 23:22

Rhonda avocados and pears aren't actually related. The name 'avocado pear' refers to the shape. It's a misnomer like 'koala bear'.

RhondaJean · 04/02/2014 23:16

Plants do regress, I don't know what the technical term is but if you have a cultivated plant it can have throw backs and if you leave them to breed naturally they can revert right back to the original.

If anyone knows about horticulture they may be able to explain.

Allalonenow · 04/02/2014 23:13

Ohhh how I wish that I was not north of the Offa's Crumble Dyke.

I might have to stay up and keep the night watch, but I do have Baileys

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 04/02/2014 23:13

Ooh yes Rhonda.

Kind of reverse evolution. We're at the start of something big.

Give it a few years and there'll be another Dawkins tome to add to the rest. The Selfish Pear.

RhondaJean · 04/02/2014 23:02

You know how avocados are a type of pear and they have stones inside them?

Could this be a bit of a pear throwback which has started to grow a stone but not done it quite properly, so it's gone off and deteriorated a bit while it was growing?

Preciousbane · 04/02/2014 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prettybird · 04/02/2014 22:42

Hell mend you for eating pears! Grin

No so much problems on Boot Camp! Wink

Thumbwitch · 04/02/2014 22:40

Hairy, PLEASE send the photos to Kew Gardens so they can identify it for you! Even if they come back with another "WTAF is THAT??" it would be fun to know. :)

Kn4ckered · 04/02/2014 22:32

Hubby has just reminded me of when we went to our local café and ordered burgers. All was lovely, and our son squeezed a big dollop of ketchup from the plastic tomato on the table. He sat for a few minutes, dipping chips and munching, then stopped mid-munch and said, "Mummy, why is my ketchup wriggling?"

MAGGOTS. Shock

I've never been able to eat in our local café since.

SpocksThirdEar · 04/02/2014 22:30

I always knew there was a reason I didn't like pears - mutant aliens growing inside them is why!

I once cut open a pepper and it was full of dead flies. I've eaten a plum and then noticed a maggot in it. And had homegrown cauliflower where a poor caterpillar got boiled and served up with dinner.

But never have I seen such a thing like that of the strange case of the pear alien thing.

LouSend · 04/02/2014 22:27

Hairy I need to go to bed now. (I am north of zzzzz's crumble defence line so I will be blocking all airvents and checking under the bed first.) Before I go I just need to know you're still alive ok. You feeling well? No strange feelings? How about the family, everyone seem normal?

Kn4ckered · 04/02/2014 22:17

I am crying real tears of fear of laughter here. I'm sorry HairyPotter but this is pure gold mould

Back2Two · 04/02/2014 22:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

MichaelFinnigan · 04/02/2014 22:04

Frankly I think I'd be relieved to hear it was just a creatures nest. I'm pretty sure it's something much worse [wibble]

I once found a caterpillar in my McDonald's burger. It was the days before camera phones. I was far too understanding and just said I was glad to see it was real lettuce grown in a field. I should've told the DM and made my fortune

Allalonenow · 04/02/2014 21:58

I think your DH has been sucked into the pear vortex, his brain will have been assimilated by now. Good luck Hairy.

I will never eat another pear now, and all my favorite puds were pears, poached in wine, pear & almond tart, pear Belle Helene. I am going to have to eat Angel Delight for pud for the rest of my life. Sad

SourSweets · 04/02/2014 21:46

Hairy peary potter,
She once bit into a rotter,
She's out of luck,
The alien grew up,
And now the gross fecker's got 'er.

Original poster
HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 21:34

Actually I quite like the sound of HairyPearyPotter. Grin

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