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Original poster

What on earth is inside my pear?

389 replies

HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 07:59

Bleugh! Envy

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

What on earth is inside my pear?
OP posts:
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14
Original poster
HairyPotter · 05/02/2014 15:54

I'm still here. For the time being...

Mutant zombie pear is still in the bin. They don't get emptied til next Wednesday though

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/02/2014 15:47

D'you I'm going to use "That's a Shame" as my new manta.

"Mum, I need 100g of ham this morning"

"Mum, I need a blue sweatshirt for the school disco"

Oh, that's a shame. That'll be my new Get Out Clause Wink

Flufflewuffle · 05/02/2014 15:17

Hairy, I think it's a great idea to send the link to the "That's a shame" veg co. Pty Ltd.

Go on! You know you want to! Wink

Looksgoodingravy · 05/02/2014 15:02

The Usual Suspects - which one was it?

What on earth is inside my pear?
SamHamwidge · 05/02/2014 15:01

I know this thread.has become all jokey and whatnot but can I just say I am feeling all horrid and itchy about this pear TUMOUR in the same way that I did when I found out what trypophobia was thanks to mn. I can't stop thinking about it and feeling sick!
Eurgh. I need brain bleach.

Thumbwitch · 05/02/2014 14:57

I don't think it is pear core breakdown - I've had pears with that, and the core has gone brown and mushy, not hard and black like wot the OP's pear is.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/02/2014 14:51

The boring, factual answer was probably planted (geddit) by the Evil Pear Overlords, to lull us into a false sense of security, somuch.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/02/2014 14:51

Yeah, let's not let the truth get in the way Grin

Act-u-ally, the link shows some pear-rot but in the first photo (Exhibit 1) the manky bit looks separate like an avocado stone- and the other pear half looks completely clean (unless she licked it) Confused

somuchtosortout · 05/02/2014 14:47

Oh, sorry, just seen rest of thread. Ignore boring factual answer, let's go with the zombie pears!

somuchtosortout · 05/02/2014 14:45

I think it's this

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 14:36

Does anyomne know what time she finishes work? How long do we wait before we organise the search party? the Mutant Pear Husband has her I'm sure of it.

WhereIsMyHat · 05/02/2014 14:34

I live by kew and one of the school mums is a scientists type there but I'm not sure I can cope having that thing anywhere near me!

LatinForTelly · 05/02/2014 14:01

Grin Laughing at The Selfish Pear

What about the Scottish Agricultural College, Hairy? Isn't that where they cloned the sheep? Surely they can deal with mutant alien pear mouse babies?

GlaikitFizzog · 05/02/2014 13:36

She's fine, probably just at work!unless that's what the pear mice want is to think!! Shock

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 13:28

Has OP not come back? .

Thumbwitch · 05/02/2014 12:29

So have you retrieved the specimen from the bin again for investigative purposes, Hairy? that's dedicated, that is.

You could send it to a horticulture lecturer - here is a list of the UCAS-covered colleges that do horticulture degrees but I think I got that you are in Scotland, so you might have to look at Scottish colleges instead.
Your pear could end up pickled as a specimen of unknown origin!
It could be given your name - Hairyus pearus disease...
You could be FAMOUS! Grin

catsrus · 05/02/2014 12:27

Here you go hairy
twitter.com/AlysFowler

She says she's stumped Hmm do you think she's part of the plot? I'm sure the mutant veg aliens will have had lots of opportunities to take her over....

RoseRedder · 05/02/2014 11:17

it's a pear drop in a winter jumper

FairPhyllis · 05/02/2014 11:11

So I take it that as well as having a Zombie Plan and a Cow Plan, I now have to have a Mutant Alien Baby Pear Mouse Plan too?

Sigh

At least the flooding means everyone in the South West will be safely isolated from the mainland when our Pear Mouse overlords arrive to colonise us.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/02/2014 11:09

Mull you say?

Better warm them to cut off the borders :0 after he's left of course

28 days later anyone?

HawkeyeInChaos · 05/02/2014 11:08

I was reading this thread whilst my baby wears eats his apple and pear puree.

What have I done? Do I now have a alien mutant zombie baby?

Original poster
HairyPotter · 05/02/2014 11:06

Brief moment of panic this morning. Woke up at 7am and realised DH was not asleep next to me, or anywhere in the house Shock This is unprecedented. He lies in bed the the last possible moment usually.

Obviously he had been taken to the Mothership by his people, the zombie pear mice babies

Then I remembered he was leaving at 3am to catch the ferry to Mull. Be afraid islanders, the zombie apocalypse is coming your way....

The veg box people will be here later tonight, I will be on the lookout for anything sinister, mind you, the pear was disguised as a real one so this may be tricky. I am soo tempted to send them a link to this thread Grin

I tried to send photos to Kew Gardens for expert analysis, but they don't do anything via email or phone. I am happy to post it to anyone who is close by. Pm me your address and I'll stick it in a Jiffy bag if you could drop it off for the boffins to look at.

I can't work twitter, can someone smarter link it for me? Am very impressed that anyone beyond me was interested in it tbh.

OP posts:
LouSend · 05/02/2014 10:57

Definitely zzzzz. I have a box of m&s chocolate biscuits, a box of mc vities and some other caramelly type ones. I'll just keep eating, shall I, and check in at intervals to let you all know how it's going? For the good of the community, of course, and not because I'm looking for an excuse to stuff my face all day.

ExcuseTypos · 05/02/2014 10:50

I will never look at a pear the same ever again.

zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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