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Original poster

What on earth is inside my pear?

389 replies

HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 07:59

Bleugh! Envy

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

What on earth is inside my pear?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
zzzzz · 04/02/2014 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouLoveItDoreen · 04/02/2014 11:01

Hairy I can't believe you retrieved it from the bin and then went on to dissect it! Personally, I'm imaging zz's scenario of being testicled (sp?) to death! Grin

ABWACADABWA · 04/02/2014 10:59

I will kill you in your sleeps.

Just sayin'.

SarahAndFuck · 04/02/2014 10:55

I believe the Furniture Police are over in Sweden at the moment Bea, sorting out the house of Brides and Stapled Swans Grin

WowserBowser · 04/02/2014 10:54
GlaikitFizzog · 04/02/2014 10:54

You know normally I would hairy, but I'm illing you see. I wouldn't want you to get ill from me.

Catsmamma · 04/02/2014 10:54

oooh it's a Helix pear...anyone else watching that??

That's all infection, blackgoo and bosanova tunes

The monkeys escaped, planted that pear in HairyPotter 's fruit bowl and now she will be posessed by the black goo and get very scary red eyes.

BeaWheesht · 04/02/2014 10:52

Furniture police? Do they rid the world of swirly patterned couches?

ghostinthecanvas · 04/02/2014 10:52

You need to copyright this thread in case Steven Spielberg is reading it Grin

SarahAndFuck · 04/02/2014 10:51

Furniture police? Polish. Polish for gods sake.

Autocorrect is ruining my life today.

zzzzz · 04/02/2014 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeaWheesht · 04/02/2014 10:51

Anyone have any stories about alien beings in chocolate and chips? I need putting off those.

ABWACADABWA · 04/02/2014 10:50

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Heh heh.

What on earth is inside my pear?
SarahAndFuck · 04/02/2014 10:49

Now you've cut it open those round black bits look like caviar.

It's some sort of egg hatchery OP.

Take it back outside, hit it with something heavy and spray what's left with fly spray and furniture police before they hatch and eat what's closest to them (that's you at the moment).

Unless you have an enemy nearby, in which case stick it though their letterbox and wait for the news report about weird, newly hatched, pear minions of death devouring your nemesis while they sleep.

WowserBowser · 04/02/2014 10:48

I'm hoping for pear testicles Grin

Original poster
HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 10:47

Sunday I really want to say that It was overripe and that's the perfectly sane, but still gross explanation.

But it wasn't Sad It's brothers and sisters were delicious yesterday and the day before.

Is it too late for me? Have I been infected by mutant pears? Did the first ones look normal to lull me into a false sense of security before sending the big guns in?

OP posts:
AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 04/02/2014 10:44

You see, now Hairy is trying to lure other unsuspecting members of the public round on the flimsy pretext of looking at the baby pear mice. She's definitely been assimilated.

Original poster
HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 10:43

No, it was definitely pointy rather than apple shaped. I ate the pointy end before I realised the horrors underneath. Sad

Wowser no need for PayPal, you are on your way aren't you? You can pay me in cash. I might need to eat it before you get here though. But you can definitely trust me

Fizzy you are only an hour or so away from me, if that wuss Wowser doesnt show up. you could nip round for me couldn't you. And dispose of the

Baby Pear Mice
Giant Moth
Spider Babies
Creepy crawlies
Zombies
Pear testicles

Delete as required Grin

OP posts:
TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 04/02/2014 10:42

WTAF is that???? Shock

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 04/02/2014 10:41

But that's exactly what you would say if you were secretly the leader of the invading alien insectoid master race, Sunday. I've seen the films...

TooWetToWoo · 04/02/2014 10:41

It might have been infected by the pear midge.

SundaySimmons · 04/02/2014 10:38

Repeats

Just to allay your fears. If it was over ripe and past it's peak then it will start to turn brown and soften from the core outward.

The flesh inside is breaking down.

sebsmummy1 · 04/02/2014 10:37

Some

sebsmummy1 · 04/02/2014 10:37

What the fuck is it though? I mean really? Surely there is done botanist on MN who can shed some light Shock

ghostinthecanvas · 04/02/2014 10:36

Bloody mumsnet. Ruined pears for me now I will never eat fruit again without slicing first
want a pear mouse too

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