Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

I vote this for Classics!!!!

I was laughing so loud dog got up from the sofa (sure he tutted) and went into the hall for some peace

Best thread ever. Although people are looking at me funny on the bus.
I slammed my hand in the car door yesterday. I was trying not to get muddy so I'd sort of swung myself into the car with one hand and slammed the door on it with the other. I have no idea how or why!

Yes Snakey It caused considerable amusement amongst the others at the stables

If a great dane is weeing on you, you're going nowhere, my cousin practically pissed himself when I told him, the knobber.

I did laugh when I dropped my son down the toilet. It was about 4am and I was doing night potty training. I didn't realise the toilet lid was up no just sat him down.

All I could see was his feet and head sticking out of the toilet bowl as he had folded in half. He was upset but I couldn't compose myself.

He had a fear of toilets for a while and still reminds me off it

I am awful for getting caught on doors.

I have a work blouse which has roll up sleeves with a strap and button arrangement to hold the roll and make it look more professional.

I was in an important/very professional meeting with HMRC auditors (yep, that bad!) and needed to leave to get some additional information. On the way out the door (which opened outwards) I was doing the "walk in a determined, professional, competant fashion" as everyone was sort of watching me go.

My lovely blouse strap got caught and held, I didn't realise, and then it pinged me back into the room, catching my elbow on the handle in the process. I was left dangling from the handle, trying not to swear and nursing a numb hand from the bang on the elbow. Looked up, and I was treated to the sight of two previously solemn and serious HMRC auditors pissing themselves laughing at me.

At least we passed the audit!

Yesterday while adjusting the shoulder straps on my sports bra my hand slipped and the bra strap acted like a sort of catapult sending my fist upwards to punch my chin. This then caused my jaw to snap shut causing me to bite my own tongue.

It's not the first time it's happened either!

slipped down stairs in a mcdonalds once with a boyfriend (now husband) dropped my cola and then slipped on that he said are you ok than ran out the door pissing himself laughing bastard

About three years ago I was at the bus stop with ds who was about 7 at the time. He was stood on the bench bad mother but the bench wasn't solid, it was 3 metal poles a few I inches apart. Anyway, he slipped and his leg got trapped. No amount of twisting and pulling would free it and I had to call the fire brigade who dismantled the bench

I have soooo many accidents.

My latest, yesterday, was being hit in the face by a swede we had just hung up in DD's horses stable.

It bloody hurt I tell ya!

Made my nose bleed.

Oh and lets not forget when I slipped down the stairs, I was carrying DS3 who was about one. Got my legged hooked underneath me so I put him down to bump down on his bottom, and had to shimmy round so I was head first then slid down and cried laughing.

And the other day I walked past the TV in our bedroom, my foot caught on the wire and it fell on my back. I couldn't move as it was balanced on there like I was a tortoise or something. DH was laughing at me, I was not amused!

No, my name's not Michelle

oh god great dane weeing

The best one was when we got a new bed. I jumped on it, forgetting it was a bit bouncier than our old one and rolled off. Into the gap between the end and the wall. For some reason I had my knee up and I got wedged in the gap.

I was laughing so much I couldn't breathe or get myself out, I was there for about 10 minutes before DH found me

I regularly catch myself by the beltloops on the door handle. The most embarrassing was when I ripped my wrap dress completely off my body .

DTS2 got himself stuck in a toilet lid before. Lots of photos taken of that one!

A few years ago I got roped into looking after my cousins great dane, one day I took him for a walk, but he was so powerful he managed to pull me right over and through a massive muddy puddle, then while I was down there, he wee'd on me, the bastarding arsehole.

Thank you for the laugh OP! This has cheered me right up!

I was sitting typing away on the pc and the cat fell on my face and she clung on for dear life to my hair I had a black eye and a scratch and had to have a tetanus and the nurse sort of gulped and coughed as I told her my cat fell on my face

I've NCed for this. Yes it's that bad

Me and my sister travelled to London for a long weekend. Had a few drinks on the train, arrived at Euston with no idea how to get to our hotel. Eventually deciphered the tube system, which my sister appeared to be allergic to as her face was bright red and rapidly swelling up to resemble elephant man.

I was panicking slightly, looking for the tube station when I walked slap bang into an inconveniently placed lamppost, knocking out several of my teeth and giving me a fat lip.

A few yards from the hotel it started raining, like monsoon level rain.

We arrived at our extremely posh hotel, dripping wet, bleeding, swollen and toothless, and had to spend quite some time convincing the skeptical looking receptionist to check our booking, which was part of a booking for a very famous rock band, who we were staying 'with' for the weekend!

Safe to say I have never returned. My sister had the emergency doctor out and I spent four consecutive days at the dentist having my teeth reconstructed.

Ahh. Happy days.

In the local paper about 12 years or do ago, they had plastic garden chairs in the pool changing rooms. A lad had to be rescued by the fire brigade as he'd sat on one naked, the chair had bent a bit and his sack had gone through the hole in the chair and got stuck when the chair straightened up again. It's awful but I still laugh till I leak a bit over this. Poor lad. Can't decide which would be worse, the trapping or the shame.

Oh this thread has made me cry laughing, thank you OP.
My most recent one was last spring in the park with 2 Dss age 5 and 2.
Standing beside the pond feeding the ducks when Ds2 leans forward then overbalances and flings himself in (shallow dive style).
I was right there and it's a shallow pond so he was in for probably 5 seconds max.
When I lifted him out he was FURIOUS completely lost it and all Ds 5 and I could do was laugh. I stripped him and redressed him laughing all the while.
Every time we go past that pond he reminds me :)

We used to live in a rented house that for some reason had a net curtain over the glass panel on the back door, held by hooks on stretchy wire top and bottom. I was walking through the door one day and one of the hooks caught through my ring and got completely stuck. No amount of jiggling and twisting would get it out, and I fiddled and panicked so much that my finger swelled up and I couldn't get my ring off. I was on my own in the house at the time but I eventually managed to get to my phone, which was luckily in the pocket of a coat hanging up by the door, and ring DH at work to see if he had any bright ideas. By this time I was half-dead with laughter at the ridiculousness of it, so all DH heard was some heavy breathing and a squeaky 'Help, I'm...', at which point my phone battery died. DH dropped everything and RAN home from work, and just as I heard him open the front door, my ring spontaneously unhooked itself. He was in a total panic, expecting me to be in a broken heap at the bottom of the stairs or something, so 'I was stuck to the back door...' didn't go down too well!