Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

I was in quite a serious fight with someone and got glassed and then hit over the head with a large, ceramic garden gnome.
Okay i needed a lot of stiches at the time and it was pretty horrific but it is funny to see peoples faces when i tell them how i got the scars on my face:
'Yeh i got hit over the head with a gnome.'

...maybe its just my sense of humour....

My sister dislocated her knee aged 11 and had to have it all plastered and bandaged. She had to wear my mum's knickers to go over the plastered knee and mum's skirt for ease of going to loo, getting dressed and undressed etc. She had to go to the orthodontist and wobbled into the room with her crutches, however her crutch went on the slippery fabric of the skirt and she collapsed in an enormous bunch of acryclic static. Everyone rushed over to help and restored her to her feet, a minute later, her knickers fell down, she calmly stepped out of them and mum put them in her handbag without saying a word. Priceless!

At an outdoor party I saw a rather large bloke on a spindly legged chair fall over backwards in very slow motion as the back two legs sank into the grass. He tried to style it out and kept drinking as he lay on his back still sitting on the semi buried chair.

Sitting in an MNers for coffee with DC3 when she leant over the toybox and promptly fell in. Of course we both laughed and cried instead of helping her. Totally worthy of You've Been Framed.

I'm walking round with DD in a sling trying to get her to sleep but keep disturbing her by snorting!

Oh and checkpoints just reminded me of another.

We'd been to the War Museum in Salford, the building itself is pretty spectacular architecturally and Ford were doing a photoshoot outside for the orange Focus ST. DH was so transfixed he walked straight into a lamp post. The bruise was huge.

What makes this still funny is that a couple of years on Ford still use it as a backdrop and every now and again there will appear a billboard near our house of the orange ST outside the Museum. Every time I see it I can't help but dissolve into fits of laughter

When he was wee, my uncle had to go to school wearing a pair of wool shorts that his granny had knitted for him. He hated them and ran away at lunchtime, taking them off and running round the hills in his pants. He disturbed a beehive and got stung repeatedly on his arse.

I have two...

DS was about 4 and we'd taken him to Butlins. He had been happily playing on the crazy golf course and he'd looked so cute in his little yellow coat and bobble hat that I decided to take a photo. You know when you can't quite get everything in the frame and you tell your subject 'back a bit', well I did that and DS kept going back.
Unfortunately the bit of the golf course I'd chosen to take his picture was the windmill and I successfully backed him up until the sails of the windmill came around, lifted him clean off the floor and flung him 10 foot to the side. I'm ashamed to say I cried with laughter whilst DH picked him up from his heap.

The other featured my late FIL who thought it would be funny to leapfrog a concrete post whilst wearing a knee length kagool. He cleared the post ok but unfortunately the back of his kagool snagged on the top of the concrete post resulting in him being flung forwards and headbutting the bottom of the post. Nobody could help him as everyone was in tears of laughter while he hung upside down from the post.

They eat them! :) it's like a boredom breaker, hang it on a rope away from a wall and it gives them something to do so they don't get bored!

Just remembered another one

Went skiing with the school back in the day, only a friend and I had been before so decided to show off to the rest of our mates that were in the beginners ski school.

Came flying past them down the slope and decided to jump a large pole of snow at the side. Only it was a huge drift and we both ended up stuck upside down with only our legs and skis sticking out we were hauled out by the most gorgeous French guy which only made it worse

Then later on we were racing straight down this run , tried to slow down at the end only to find my legs wouldn't obey me so ended up taking about 30 French kids about 6 years old out as I ploughed through them like ninepins. Their instructor was NOT amused

Exit! I did exactly the same thing! Ha! I was startled to see my pony out of the corner of my eye (even though he'd been brought in, by me, for his tea!) and kinda cat jumped straight into the swede!

Not an accident as such but my legs did go through a phase of trying to kill me. I've written about it on here before.

I was coming downstairs and for some reason instead of going all the way down, my legs stepped straight off the fourth step up. I landed in a startled heap at the bottom. No harm done.

Fast forward a bit to another occasion and as I came downstairs I thought "Oo, better make sure I come all the way down! Haha!" and promptly stepped off the fourth step up, landing in a slightly less startled heap at the bottom.

Checkpoint

Oh dear... Swede attack!!!

I once deliberately walked my then DP (now DH) smack bang into a lamppost by looking at him enticingly to hold his gaze, it was and still is the funniest thing I have beer seen. He understandably got in a mahoosive bate and marched off while I was left lying on the pavement laughing and laughing. His glasses broke and he cut his eyebrow but was ok apart from that, although he still hasn't forgiven me.

Fuck only know what possessed me to do it....

This ended well so counts as funny:)

My dad went to take out an elderly aunt. She was wheelchair bound and but tiny so even his arthritic knees could cope with her. The only tricky bit was the steep driveway but dad braced against the chair and the slope and held onto the black plastic handles as they both slid off in his hands!

The aunt flew down the steep drive, across a road after bumping down the kerb and somehow dad has no idea what happened next other than no cars hit her and she didn't tip over! As he got to her there was a postman crying with laughter unable to move. Think dad took about four years before it was funny.

A couple of colleagues (friends that I muck about with) started to come into my office and I jumped up to shut the door on them but my skirt sort of caught on a chair handle and I fell over, however I had jumped up so fast that I carried on moving - zoomed across the floor on my knee, head first into the filing cabinet like a battering ram.

I managed to say 'please don't laugh yet' and they stood there with straight faces but tears of mirth in their eyes for a couple of minutes until I'd got over the shock and then I let them laugh their heads off.

The 'orrible nylon carpet had ripped all the skin off my knee, it was a gammy mess for days.

Mines not as funny as some of these.
I was walking through a ford once with our dog and she managed to pull me over, it seemed slow motion at the time and I went with a massive splash. There were two men nearby and they pissed themselves laughing. While I was emptying the water out of my Wellies. I was soaked and it was February

Last week, walking DD and Happiestdog.

DD's back back/reins got tangled with the dog's lead. In the middle on untangling them I dropped a full poo bag, tripped, stood on the bag which exploded with a bang. I jumped, stood in the poo and skidded. Thankfully only pride was hurt, and DD remained unscathed!!

Years ago, I went to a local beauty salon to get my nails done before a big do. I came out looking all groomed and slid in a pile of dog poo on the pavement and landed on one knee (in the position that people adopt when they're receiving a knighthood). It happened in really slow motion too!

I once witnessed a birding friend of mine trying to jump over a fence while carrying his telescope on a fully extended and splayed tripod. He didn't make it, cartwheeled spectacularly, legs (human and tripod) everywhere. He wasn't hurt as the field on the other side was nice and soft and muddy.

I was dicking about at the park one day with my 3 yo cousin and decided it would be a good idea to slide down the slide with her on my knee. I was okay until my cross body bag caught at the top and sort of hung me by the neck halfway down the slide. So I'm clinging into her with 1 hand while desperately trying to get my other hand in between the strap and my throat so that I didn't suffocate It snapped eventually and freed us. Two teenage girls nearly died laughing at me though.

I've also done the skirt thing Dawndonna, I had one of the ankle length dip-dyed hem skirts on that were really popular in about 2004. It got sucked into the top of the escalator in Manchester Piccadilly station. It was a hot summer day and I was only wearing a vest top and this skirt. My blood ran cold at the thought of getting the train back home in thong and vest so I managed to grab the end before it disappeared and pull it back out of the mechanism. It was absolutely covered in oil, but at least my arse cheeks were covered!

Not me, but a bloke who had the double misfortune to land up on my patient list with this story:

He was a farmer. Had a bull which went bonkers, was on the rampage and heading towards the village.

He headed after it with a gun, but, couldn't get a good shot. Until, it stopped at the top of a hill, and he managed to get it "right between the eyes, best shot of my life".

The interesting thing about gravity is has no sense of direction. So, inevitably, the dead bull rolls down the hill. He runs away, but, not quickly enough, and in a straight line, so landed up underneath the half tonne of dead, but thrashing, bovine.

He had some dreadful injuries, so it wasn't funny at all, only, really, it was a wee bit.

He did ok in the end, got back to farming. Doesn't keep bulls though.

Not me but my dad, after my 30th birthday party we were waiting for him in the mini bus while he collected the cake, he came out carrying the huge box in one hand, waved with the other hand and disappeared his outstretched hand and the cake were on the pavement and the rest of him was underneath the minibus! Due to a combination of much drink taken and icy pavements it took us ages to find him- I did wet myself