Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

ExH was obsessed with fishing and suggested that we go with two friends of ours, neither of whom were remotely interested in fishing ( neither was I) Anyway, friends and I decided that's few beers might make the day more bearable, and proceeded to get bladdered on the river bank. I was fiddling with my folding chair trying to get it to lean backwards, but somehow managed to fall forwards, and the chair collapsed, clamping itself onto my arse like a giant clothes peg. I slid face first down the banking with the chair still firmly clamped, landing in the mud at the very edge of the river, arse, and chair in the air. Friends howled and drunkenly tried to remove the offending appendage, but only managed to fall in themselves. Exh was outraged stamping his foot like toddler whining that we were "scaring the fish off"

these are all great

a few years ago in the heavy snow I was walking across the front garden when all of a sudden my right leg disappeared down the small well in our garden.for a few minutes I was stuck with one leg completely under the snow/well.the only way for me to get out was to lie in the snow and raise my leg out as I lay down.really funny but only me there to see it.

I picked dd up from yr r one day and the tas were in fits of laughter.they were watching dd at break eat her banana and said how good she was going to put the skin in the bin.in front of them she dropped the skin and then trod on it - you can guess the rest.

I grew up on a farm and, since we didn't have garbage pick up at that time, we burned all of our garbage. It was my job to do this every couple of days. I would grab the garbage and put three or four strike-anywhere matches in my back pocket and head out to the burn barrel.

Well, one time, I slipped and fell on the ice while walking out to burn the garbage. As I landed, I felt a sharp little pain in my butt, but was other wise unhurt. I couldn't figure out what that sharp pain was though. I had never felt anything like it. That night, when I got undressed, I discovered the answer. There was a little hole burned in my underpants... Two of the matches in my pocket must have rubbed together and lit when I fell but where then immediately extinguished by my butt.

When I was about 3 I got the hooked handle of a umbrella stuck in my mouth. The brolly was up and my mum was pissing herself. She just twisted it and it popped out.

When I was a bit older I was spying on the neighbours. Our hedge had chicken wire along it so the dog couldn't escape through. I fell, head first, between the hedge and the wire and couldn't get out. Wedged inbetween, legs in the air, I shouted for ages until mr next door heard me.

When I was tiny in my pram, my DM had taken me to visit my cousin's horse. The horse accidentally trod on her foot, she shrieked, he lifted his foot up in a fright, reared, caught my pram with his foreleg and sent it flying in a perfect somersault through the air. The pram landed and I was still safe, sound and hadn't even woken up!

A few years later, the same cousin and I were on the waltzers. For some reason we had the giggles and I, still a small girl, had slid out from underneath the safety bar and was huddled in the foot of the waltzer, weeping with mirth. Every time the waltzer passed DM and my aunt they would frantically shout to my cousin to do something, but she was laughing too hard to pick me up! It was very funny hearing them try and shriek one-syllable advice as we whizzed past.

In my teens I was out for a walk with my brother. He spotted a little bag up a tree, called me over to see what I reckoned it could be. I stood under the tree, looked up and with impeccable timing the fucking thing fell on my head and burst. It was dog shit.

Was that last year? I slipped on the black ice last year, it just looked so un-icy!

This thread is just what I needed

My friend swallowed 10p walking into a concrete lamppost in the 80's, it really was hilarious especially when nobody would believe us, I still don't know the outcome of that one.who carries money in their mouth?

Years ago I was working in a pub, I'd just taken a customer's money and stepped back from the till to hand him his drink - and disappeared straight down the trapdoor to the cellar which I'd left open after changing a barrel!

When I landed I was still holding the drink, and immediately downed it. I spent the rest of my shift on the other side of the bar in shock, whilst the boss covered the bar in a rare moment of understanding!

purple a relative posted on DH's facebook the other week asking when his annual performance for DOI was going to be Rest assured if he does it again it will be uploaded haha

I love how your DS inches tentatively across the car, holding onto the boot all the time then all of a sudden Wheeeee there goes your dancing on ice champion DH! Your son's reaction was absolutely priceless! Brilliant video and brilliant thread! I cannot stop laughing, proper cackling, snorting belly laughs! God knows what the neighbours will think!

emotional I think I did post it ages ago then NC'd. DS did redeem himself though, he got around the corner and found a man who'd slipped and broken his leg. It's at the top of a hill and the ambulance couldn't get up. He waited for the paramedics and then helped the crew inch the poor man to the bottom of the hill and into the ambulance. He was very late for work that day.
It was a funny day all round that, our local A&E was overrun with casualties of the black ice because it just didn't look icy. Nobody could stand up at all which was hilarious with DH (just bruised pride) but not so with many others.

I was visiting family and they'd put up a bed for me and one for my son in the single room. There wasn't much room between the beds, certainly not enough to walk up the side of the bed. Being six months pregnant, I had pretty bad SPD and had to roll to get off the bed, unfortunately I got it wrong, slipped and fell head first between the two beds. With my huge bump I couldn't push myself back up. I tried calling, then shouting for help, but nobody could hear me. So it wasn't until I banged on the floor, that said relative came up to find my legs in the air and the rest of me stuck between the two beds. Apparently it was an amusing sight.

Honey I can remember you posting this a while back after I had told my woes of disappearing under friends car.

I love your sons reaction. Quality!!

When I was 12 my mum left me home alone for all of twenty minutes, in daylight. While she was gone, I thought I heard a noise, so retreated to The garden and climbed the apple tree. I then heard the doorbell and jumped out of the tree to answer it. The hem of my skirt caught on the branch and I was left there dangling, with my knickers on full view. The ringing continued, followed by frantic knocking and the sound of my now near-hysterical mother calling my name. Eventually she came through the side gate and saw me. I would like to say she helped me down immediately, but the truth is she laughed so hard, she was unable to do anything for a few minutes, while my affronted young self muttered darkly, 'I'm 12 years old and these aren't my best pants. Get. Me. Down!'

I have got such a headache reading all of these

Oh this is so going to out me but what the hell....

DH and DS off are to work and unfortunately DH hadn't realised that its black ice outside. The first I knew of this is when DH came stumbling into the house in agony saying he'd fallen. He really did hurt himself and didn't go into work that day. It was only later when speaking about it to a friend she said 'oh but you have CCTV, I'll bet you've watched that back a few times haven't you?' It hadn't occurred to me so instantly rewound the CCTV and dissolved into fits of laughter. Not sure what amused me more, DH's fall or the way DS stands there looking at him. Anyway, pressured by said friend to Youtube it the video went around all of our friends and family so we could all laugh at him. Fortunately he has a good sense of humour...

A friend at University was walking down the road latest night (under the influence) eating chips and beans. He was chatting to us and not watching where he was going, which was straight into into a lampost - beans everywhere!

dh went to lift extremely heavy chest from top of wardrobe, it was so heavy his body bent and he impaled his arse on the pointing chair back. he wasn't the same for a good few weeks after...

i also heard of a friends BF who had been horrid to her, get his balls some how trapped in the mechanism of a ladder, that made me laugh too.

Ouch Psammead!

I've just remembered when DH and I were going on our first proper date, we had tickets for Russell Howard and I was stressing about getting ready in case we were late.

I sat on the iron! It was on the floor because I didn't have an ironing board, pointy end up and it went right up my bum. I first panicked thinking "Oh shit that's the iron, it's going to burn me!" and stood up as quickly as possible, then realised it wasn't that hot but it fucking hurt because I'd just sat on a metal pointy thing and was then alternately crying from the shock and wheezing with laughter imagining what Russell Howard would say if for some reason I was picked on out of the entire audience to tell my story

Was really uncomfortable all night as well...

I was getting off a train one night, quite late. I was the only person in my carriage. I had quite a heavy rucksack on my back.

The train stopped, with me waiting anxiously by the door because I was (and always am) really paranoid about not getting off in time. Except the door did not open.

I looked all around for a button to press to make the door open. There was no button.

I managed to get my panic under control and tried to work out what was happening. Right, I thought, it must be an old-fashioned kind of train where you have to pull up the handle on the outside of the door by putting your hand out the window.

Ok. Window. Window. Sash window kind of affair. Pull it down. Wont budge. (I found out later you have to squeeze the metal bit at the top together to get it to open) Pull it down a bit harder. It budged, but only a bit. I managed to wriggle it down by pure brute force and hysteria to about the halfway position. I thought maybe it would be enough as I am quite tall so I start waggling my hand out of the window to grab the door handle.

I cannot reach the handle. Reaaaaaach wagglewagglewaggle. No handle. Streeeeeeeeetch, wimper in panic, wagglewaggle... fingers brush the handle.

Shit shit shit the trains going to go any second now. Right, ok. There's a sort of very slight ledge/projection a few centimeters up the door that will give me the extra leverage I need. I manage to get my tiptoes onto this sticky out bit at the bottom of the door, and make a wild, last-chance grab for the door handle

I got it. I yanked the handle and the door opens. Except that I now find myself in position of standing on a rapidly-opening door, with one arm through a half open window, clinging onto the door handle. The combined weight of me and my massive backpack really makes the door fly open, and out I go with it. At one with the door.

The train door and I describe a perfect arc through the air until the door slams, with not inconsiderable force, into the side of the train. With my arm acting as a cushion.

I slid down the door and onto the platform and stagger off to the taxis. I heard a lot of muffled laughter. A few broken fingers, and a bruised pride. It must have lookd hilarious though.

A few years ago, I parked up outside a friends house. She lives at the top of a (luckily not steep) hill, and it was a cold morning. I popped the handbrake on, and left the car in reverse just in case, and jumped out of the car, waving at my friend who was at the window.
I closed the car door, then realised the car was moving, a split second before I realised I was moving too. Unknown to me, there was black
Ice all over the hill. I slid down the hill, hanging onto the side of the car, my feet frantically trying to get a grip on the ice, while I was trying to open the car door so I could get in.
The car stopped when it ran into the patch of grass which was at the bottom of the hill. Unfortunately, while the car was able to bump up the kerb, I wasn't. My feet hit the kerb and stopped, but the top half of me, still hanging onto the car, carried on going. I ended up face first in the grass, shoeless, about 10 feet behind the car, covered in grass stains. Stood up to see my friend sliding down the same hill on her arse, laughing her head off.
No damage done to anyone luckily!