Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

And my own.

I was on the bus,perched rather precariously on the outside seat,and was reading a newspaper. The bus turned a corner,and I fell straight over onto my side,a bit like Delboy with the bar and landed still clutching my newspaper open in both hands. It bloody hurt,but even I had to laugh at that.

at CAKEY. Now THAT has made my day!

In primary school,a boy called George got his coat stuck. He couldn't get the zip undone to take it off,and the hood was tight against his head,and in an attempt to remove the coat,the teacher tried to yank on the hood,but all succeeded in doing was repeatedly lifting poor George into the air,and swinging him around. This went on for over ten minutes. I felt so sorry for him,but I couldn't help laughing my head off.

I was in IKEA once and a kid broke a plastic drinks cup and got it stuck between his front teeth, and completely panicked. We had to wiggle his teeth until it came out.

Ok... I must really need that cup of tea, that was meant to be a text to Dh.

Carry on, nothing to see here.

I'll have that cup of tea now I'm coming.

Shosha1, that must have been very satisfying.

I swear I have never laughed this much in my life. I clearly have a very sadistic sense of humour.

From the bottom of my heart snakey thank you. You have just made my day with this thread.

When I was a young one. I had a figure like Dolly Parton.

Accross the road from my parents a new hospital was being built.

Every time I went out I got wolf whistled and called at.

I hated it.

One day one of the old fat guys was walking backwards along the scaffolding keeping pace with me making remarks.

I looked steadfastly in front ignoring him

Suddenly there was a crash and scream. I looked up

He had fallen off the end of the scaffolding and straight into a load of barrels

I just stood there and roared with laughter.

I am crying with laughter...

I was once on the phone to my sister, many years ago when I actually smoked in the house. Managed to set fire to my fringe. But it was a deep and meaningful conversation, so I just tipped my cup of tea over my fringe, put the fire out and carried on talking. Dh was in fits.

Another tea-related one, we were once about to start watching a DVD. DH makes me a lovely big mug of tea, but in an insulated mug with a lid. I think, oh, that's weird, take the lid off. Two minutes later there's a scary moment, I jump, end up covered in flipping tea from head to foot. Dh pissed himself laughing at me and kept telling me 'there's a reason I put a lid on your tea!'

Oh, and I once managed to knock a tooth out hoovering the stairs. Bad idea to hoover with one of those big Vax things from top to bottom, meaning this large, heavy thing is above you on the half-landing. On castors...

Is it possible to upload photos from a phone? DS got his head stuck in the toilet. Instead of healping him I ran downstairs to get my camera....

I recall many years ago going to the zoo and wanting to see the sugar gliders in the nocturnal house. We'd already been into one enclosure where you opened the outer door, then went through an inner one. So, I opened the outer door, and walked through the doorway opposite it. Except it wasn't. It was a brick wall.

FFS, DH is watching 'Aircraft Investigation' - hundreds of people just died in a horrific air crash and I am sitting here howling with laughter: so inappropriate!!

Im in tears at the sad pillowcase, OMG, that's just sooo funny

Early last year I decided to fit the new toilet seat as had been nagging dh to do it. The old toilet seat was a bugger to get off so I decided to whack the screws...WITH A HAMMER . Of course (duh) I missed the screws smashed the ceramic. Ended up having my hand glued and a tetanus AND paying £100 for a new toilet plus plumber to fit it. It was the day we were first snowed in too so had to pee in bucket for a few days. To this day you are the ONLY ones who know my 'injury' came about after I got overzealous with the hammer. My dh and even the a and e nurse think I leaned on the ceramic a bit heavy and 'there was already a hairline crack that had weakened it'. Yeah right.

I really am a disaster zone. Just yesterday I put washing up liquid in my dishwasher draw to clean it. Of course I had a mini foam party in my kitchen. Why why why....

Bet you'd love to live with me. Common sense has left the area.....

Oh, stop, please all stop you are killing me and DH is about to call the men in white jackets

I am wheezing and crying, proper tears and snot . This thread should come with a health warning.

I once went arse-over-tit on a bright summer's day outside my workplace, I must've tripped over thin air or something. Anyway, I find myself lying in the middle of the car park with my (full) skirt over my head, knickers on show. So I jump up, smooth my skirt down, quickly look around to make sure nobody has seen me - nobody had, big relief. I go in, speak to somebody at reception (on the office side, not the customer-facing side) until the member of staff I am talking to says to me "PD, do you realise you have blood running down your leg?" . No, I didn't. Huge deep gash on my knee...
To this day I sometimes shudder when I consider where she thought the blood may have come from .

I need a wee lie-down ofter this thread, I really do.

Not me, but a friend who is very clumsy.

She'd gone blackberrying with her dad. They'd parked up by a field, climbed over a rickety stile, and picked a huge bag of blackberries from bushes around the edge of a recently ploughed field. Job done they made their way back to the car. Friend navigated the ploughed field and stile with no problem. On reaching level ground she lost her footing and fell backwards into a hawthorn bush, and ended up sitting in a nettle patch.

Oh no just remembered something else.

A few years ago I was sitting on one of those high office chairs up to the reception desk in work. I leaned back and the chair broke sending me flying backwards in front of the waiting room . Matter made much worse by my manager and some even higher person from the LHB coming out of her office to loss themselves laughing at me.

I have also done the walk smack into lampost. Twice. And once a wall. I am soooo clumsy

last year I was leaving my house to get into my dads car. It was really icy and I had stupid shoes on. As soon as my feet hit the pavement they shot up in the air and I literally sprawled on my back. My grumpy dad peered over the bonnet and said 'why are you lying on the floor? Get up for gods sake'. Which was funny-to my mum

Having a family day out at Greenwood thingy, DSs playing on stilts ( the plastic cup and strings type) asked H where his mother had gone. ( Enter stage left) odd 74 yr old MIL, on said stilts. Now the woman had a superpower.....she would go arse over tit, stone cold sober, walking on a perfectly flat surface.

H and I stood speechless and watched as Mil took 3 steps atop stilts and then, in slow motion, staggered forward, stopped in mid air and fell flat on her back. Legs in the air and regulation Sloggi knickers on full show.

Did we rush to pick her up? Nope. We were frozen in shock, me, H and 3DSs. H then took a photo picked her up. She was a chunky daft old bat and bounced well.

This ALWAYS kills me ... When buying paint at the B&Q make sure it is in the boot of the car

When dd2 was a baby she woke up crying one evening (a 45 minute-ly occurrence), so I went upstairs to bf her back to sleep. Realised I was desperate for a wee so went to the rarely used toilet at the end of the hallway. Had a wee, all good, washed my hands then went to turn the tap off. The tap actually came off in my hand and water started pissing out, almost hitting the ceiling, and landing all over the carpet. I was on my own and had no idea where the thing to turn the water off was, so I had a cunning plan.

I legged it out to the back yard and grabbed the metal bucket used for putting the ashes from the wood burner in, ditched the ashes in the wheely bin and ran back upstairs, where dd2 was going absolutely nuclear, still unattended to. By now there's a full on flood on the bathroom carpet. I put the bucket upside down over the sink and hooked the handle over the one good tap, so that the water hit the top of the bucket and went back into the sink. I heard the doorbell, so tore back downstairs to find one of the Indian chaps from the takeaway next door, informing me that water is coming through the ceiling into their kitchen. I explained the predicament and he came right back with some tools, and managed to turn the water off on that sink. I thanked him profusely, showed him out and finally went to feed poor dd2, who was still screaming her lungs out.

Lay down and she latched on, only to hear the doorbell go again. I answered it to find the same Indian man telling me that my wheely bin was on fire! I didn't realise the ashes were so hot when I chucked them in! So had to tear downstairs and take a hose pipe to the flaming bin.

Possibly the most hectic 10 minutes of my life!

I've just spent god knows how long reading this and crying, thanks OP

Was staying in a B&B with a very tall ex (over 6foot5). We decided to give good old doggy style a go, but as he hopped up on the bed he lost his footing, fell backwards and got wedged between the edge of the bed and a wardrobe. I couldn't move I was laughing so hard, he had a big scrape all down his side & hip from the wardrobe and was like an upended turtle. It took me forever to pull him out, was weak from laughing!

Every time I think of the bastard I think of him wedged there and not able to move, brings a smile to my face every time :)

[laughcry]