Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

I was on the bus to school once, stood up just after ringing the bell for the stop, put my foot on a patch of wet grass clippings that had come off someone's shoe and skidded the width of the bus to the other window where I landed in a similar fashion to a cartoon character hitting a window - face pressed against the glass, hand out to try and break my fall. Most of the school was filing in at the time so a good few would have seen me do it.

Another time, on another bus, went to go upstairs as the bottom level was a bit busy, bus pulled away and I lost my footing on the wet stairs. Landed on the floor, on my back, hit my head on the way down and not one bastard helped me up, just sat there all po faced as the driver had to stop the bus and help me to my seat.

I don't do too well on buses... Why have I got a new job that requires me to take a 20-40 minute journey across the city every day?!

I'm not that tall so hardly ever have to duck under things. Once I hadn't pushed up the garage door quite far enough, strode into the garage & was hit hard across the forehead by the door & fell over backwards. Fortunately no-one saw me do it but the resulting bruise across my forehead looked like someone had tried to take the top of my head off like a boiled egg and I didn't have a fringe

I've posted this before but it's very appropriate for this thread:

Many years ago, still at home in my teens, chatting with Dad on the patio while Mum pestered about the fact he hadn't mown the lawn yet. He always did it because the old-fashioned petrol mower was much too heavy for her & it was sitting waiting on the lawn. Suddenly she could bear it no longer, grabbed the mower, managed to start it with the pull-cord & set off down the lawn at a great rate of knots, somehow swung round at the bottom & came charging back towards the house hanging on for grim death, legs trailing behind, becoming entangled in a fitted sheet on the line across the lawn, still hanging on, now shouting "John! John!" till she crashed into the rockery & stopped. We were helpless with laughter & she was absolutely furious! I can still make her grumpy just mentioning it 30 years later

I read these this morning, walked down the marble floored corridor to show my husband, slipped and have broken my finger. Seriously.

Hilarious thread.

I can't tell you which band it was, sorry

On that same trip I decided to go sightseeing with an American friend. Having got me and elephant man my sister to the hotel the previous day I clearly had the underground system sussed and took charge.

We were rushing to the platform just as the train was about to set off. For reasons I still don't understand I launched myself through the closing doors and turned around to see him staring at me in bewilderment from the platform as I disappeared into a tunnel.

The entire carriage saw this unfold and pissed themselves laughing.

Cakey

Do you always have a cup of tea when you are coming?

wonders about how Cakey's OH heats the tea at same time as DTD

Damn, forgot to add, the entire garden full of party people turned in unison to watch me fall, and at some point of the afternoon commented on never seeing such a comedy fall in RL before... Um, thanks? :)

OP please save WeeblingPillowcase in case you're ever in need of a name change, it's too too good!

Bookmarking this thread for when DC2 arrives and I'll be needing some light relief in the small hours...

Mine: At my nephew's birthday party, I was performing the complex task of walking through a door, my sling-back heel caught on the door sill, I fell into the corner of the cake table, winding myself.
Didn't dare grab onto the table/tablecloth as I knew my DSis had spent hours decorating his cake and she'd kill me if I damaged it, so instead I ricocheted off the table, fell backwards, legs flying over my head cartoon-style, landed on my neck/shoulders.
Result: Whiplash, bruised sternum, v sore shoulder and ankle.
All from wearing stupid high heels. Death traps.

I've been laughing my way through these for too long!

My own (less funny) contribution..... My first job interview, fresh out of college. Dressed up in newly acquired smart shoes, skirt, jacket, all the rest. Walked into the interview room and attempted to ooze confidence by striding purposefully to the empty seat at the table. But I trod on the end of a rug with some force, the rug (on a smooth parquet floor) folded up like a concertina, taking me skidding with it, until I crashed to a halt underneath the table. One of the ladies from the interview panel came to my aid, which was embarassing enough, but as she helped me to my feet neither of us noticed that she was standing on the hem of my skirt. As I stood up, the bottom of my skirt stayed trapped on the floor, and I was left frantically clutching at the waistband to preserve my modesty. Did I get the job? No. Kind of hard to recover from that start, really.

Lying in my garden enjoying a book when my lovely pet rabbit runs up, pees in my eye and hops away. I had to call my mother in case I needed to go get it looked at and I still don't read in my garden 2 years later.

These are priceless

We were having dinner in the garden one summer and I came out of the house carrying a fish pie. I walked into and broke my toe on a very solid wooden garden chair, pitched forward over the table and threw our dinner at the garden wall.

I was also walking home drunk late one night and gawping in through people's windows where they hadn't shut their curtains, like you do. Walked straight into a small but sturdy tree and was knocked flat on my back. I know what it truly means to be stunned. When I got home dh was horrified, I looked like I'd been beaten up.

Bea my husband has mild Tourette's and he twitches, he's worse if he thinks about it and his Tourette's listens to suggestions.
It pisses him off massively if you just quietly say "don't throw that drink" because he automatically twitches and throws it.

Not as funny when ds was newly born and Dh was having his first cuddle, I was high on all the drugs they could give me and said in passing to Dh not even thinking "don't have a twitch and throw him at the wall" Dh had this look went deathly pale and very very slowly laid ds on the bed he then went and stood in the corner of the room for ten mins glaring at me and alternating between twitching so bad he looked like he had Parkinson's and waving us arms over his head.
He was nervous holding ds the second time but apart from a few muscle jerks he's never twitched whe holding him, I still feel bad that in my drugged up state I basically told his Tourette's to throw the baby at the wall.

Oh and in primary we had to line up outside our class before break and you got told off if you so much as sniffed.

Girl in front of me called Joanne vomited silently into the hood of the girl in front (also called Joanne) just as the teacher said 'zips and hoods up now its snowing'.

I don't think I even found it funny at the time it was that disgusting but years later I find it hilarious. note if my kid was one of the 2 Joannes I'd be bloody horrified

Oh and ds fell out of bed one night and started crying - we went in to him and he was doing his whiny voice and I said stop it go to sleep (he was a nightmare sleeper) and he climbed into bed and said 'but mummy' and I said 'no talking or ill be cross'. He went back to sleep. The next morning he came through with the worst black eye I have ever seen.

What makes it worse is we were on holiday and dd have herself a bruised and scratched face 2 days later. I was convinced SS would be banging on the door.

This one isn't really an accident as such but when I was 18 and working in a bar in my home town some very fit visiting workmen came in. All good, they ordered their pints and were all friendly and smiley and flirty until I passed them their drinks, did a weird twitch and threw the contents straight at them. Their faces literally were .

Ds aged 2 wanted a stupid ball out of one of those machines where you pay a pound and twist the handle. I said no so he put his hand up the escape Shute bit and got stuck.

He also managed to wrap his leg under a chair during dinner out and got it stuck between the bars. He howled.

Dd was very accident prone between 1-2.5 but they were mostly pretty scary, however she did decide recently (aged3) to ignore my warnings and go down our steep hill on her scooter. First she was laughing, then silence and then she screamed 'mummy the wheels are going faster than my legs can' and crashed into a sign.

Was invited many many years ago to work on Top gear Live, on the Live Action show. We were supposed to be New Aged Travellers protesting about a Silverstone Bypass (this being the days when it was held there). The arena held 2000 people. As the last few people files in we were sitting around our makeshift mocked up camp on some seats ripped out of cars used for other parts of the show. I decided to rock on my seat, pushing myself backwards.....until I overbalanced and all you could see was my two stumpy legs waving in the air.
I got the biggest cheer of the performance.....

Not me, but a friend. A group of us were siting in the park after a picnic and he lay down for a little snooze, he did the most enormous yawn and as he did we heard a 'plop' sound...a passing bird had shat straight into his mouth! It was gross, but bloody hilarious!!

*Definitely one for Classics!

^^This. Everytime I had a shit day I would log on to read. No matter how bad your day has been at least you haven't (Insert any of the above)

I'm going to go back and read all but I'll lose my place.

V heavily pg with DD1 on a very hot August day I was crossing front lawn when my foot went down a little hole and I fell right over onto my back. Couldn't get up and spent what felt like forever shouting on DH for help. He and a friend were in the back garden and didn't hear me.

I was getting a bit frantic, thinking I was stuck turtle like forever and not a single neighbour around to help, managed to roll over and still couldn't get up so crawled on all fours to the front door. Knocked pathetically on bottom of door till DH arrived with said friend at his back , peeing themselves.

I was scarlet in a mix of heat, panic, sweat and anger at them laughing.

To top it all off, contractions started an hour or so later but didn't come to much, as I'd had the fall I called hospital for advice and they insisted I come in to be checked over, DH wasn't so amused at me being kept in for monitoring till past midnight and then having to come home as contractions stopped. Serves him right.

Absolutely crying with laughter at these. Definitely one for Classics!

I was getting off the bus on the way to work and the doors had opened but the bus hadn't quite stopped. I gaily jumped off like the do on films but the bus had been going faster than I thought and I kept running and ran straight into the side of a bus shelter.

the other week while at work in full uniform, i managed to miss the step up into the station and tripped, my forward motion propelled me about 6 feet before i crash landed on my face causing some rather impressive grazes to my face.

no one was around to witness this debacle, however i wasnt aware that i had caused any visible injury and tried to nonchalantly walk as if nothing had happened into the parade room.

this resulted in horrified stares of my colleagues and cries of "what the fuck happened to you??" as blood dripped from my forehead and lip and my hair which is usually neatly stowed into a nice tight bun looked like i had just inserted my finger in a socket.

my glasses however remained on my face at all times and survived the crash landing. miraculous things.

my sgt pissed himself. and everyone ran to see if it had been captured on CCTV. such concern!

I was getting off the bus on the way to work and the doors had opened but the bus hadn't quite stopped. I gaily jumped off like the do on films but the bus had been going faster than I thought and I kept running and ran straight into the side of a bus shelter.