Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

I got stuck in a wheelie bin once. The tall, narrow sort. It was when they were still new, and you weren't supposed to put garden waste in them. Of course mum had almost finished her autumn tidy-up, and had just a few bits that weren't worth going to the dump for, so she asked me to tread them down for her before the household rubbish went in.

I climbed onto the garden wall and into the wheelie bin. Then I found I couldn't climb out again. The bin was too narrow for me to bend my knees and too high for me to lift myself up with my arms. Mum had to run around finding more garden waste to chuck in, and I trod it down, gradually getting higher in the bin. Only it wasn't all garden waste...all the household bins went in as well...including the kitchen bin...and the cat's litter tray.

not really an accident but the first time I went skiing being a total beginner I had no control over what I was doing.

I only went on the kid slope (800m long! ) - during the day people sat around the edges & bottom of slope to watch the children.

one family decided to have a picnic lunch - they didn't count on me skiing into some dog poo moments before skiing through their picnic blanket.

it was like a Benny Hill moment.

DD and I were on Park and Ride bus when she was about 10, very crowded so we ended up sitting on the stairs. At 'getting off time' she stood up and managed to wedge her folded arm into the gap between the hand rail and the wall. I couldnt get her out of this and no-one could get down the stairs.

She's probably still there.

No, seriously. Kind man told her to twist her arm into another position and out it came. I of course had every scenario whizzing through my head including firemen taking the bus apart....

We could all do with that superpower, hypo.

Oh! I've remembered the sledging one.

Me, my sister and our dad, sledging down the hill. Now, this was a very steep hill with a wide track to one side and a hedge along the rest of the way. So we slid down the hill then pulled the sledge to go slightly left to the track where it then went onto some flat ground and we'd stop.

Dad went, pulled left, stopped.
I went, pulled left, stopped.
Sister went.

Straight through the hedge.

My sister has very funny accidents.

There was the time she was walking along the beach, with her shoes in her hand and decided to walk into a little pool. As she did so, she said something along the lines of "I wonder if it's d..." (going to be deep) and fell into it and disappeared up to her knees, fell forward and disappeared except for her hand holding her shoes up out of the water. Sat upright and waited for everyone to stop laughing long enough to help her.

Then there was the time she was out for a walk with her neighbour and our parents. She was on a bike and they came to the old railway tracks so she got off and walked the bike along. It became very narrow, so she stepped to the side to walk on the grass bit while she wheeled the bike along the track.

Except it wasn't a grassy bit. It was extremely LONG grass hiding a huge ditch. Everyone was ahead of her. Heard an 'oof'. Turned round. She'd vanished. They retraced their steps and found her lying in the ditch, nettle rash ^everywhere). Bike on top of her. She looked up at them and said "isn't anyone going to help me out of here?"

Our dad helped her while her neighbour and our mother almost died laughing.

She had to walk the rest of the way covered in nettle rash and some sort of pollen. With her neighbour stopping every few feet to drop to his knees and laugh until he couldn't breathe.

They made her stop for a drink in the pub before taking her home so she could get cleaned up.

I can't compete with that. The only funny to others but sure as hell not to me accident is when I went for an alfresco pee and nettled my nethers. ow.

Poor you Theodorus! Hope your finger isn't too sore you eejit

I love the five star coat hanger down the top impression

I am also crying at the jiggy-legged tens machine.

I am fairly accident prone. I must have a story somewhere.

I mildly electrocuted my DD3 in the face last week trying to quieten her down in a shop. Unknown to me I had built up a static charge and when I went to place my finger on her lips to remind her to shush I electrocuted her instead. She looked at me in utter disbelief and was very wary of my 'zap finger' for the rest of the week.

DH did this.

one early-ish summer morning he went in the garden for a fag, noticed some birdpoo on the kitchen window so decided to stand on this old bench to reach.

the bench broke, he really hurt himself - the funny bit is that he was stark naked and had to scurry in as he was worried the neighbours might look outside to check what the almighty racket (noise, thump & swearing) was all about!

I was walking back from the swimming pool with ds and dd. It was a narrow pavement and had lamp posts sticking out on the pavement. I turned round to see what the noise was (it was an ambulance ironically!) and I walked dd right in to a lamp post. Ds was still holding my hand walking forward while dd was sat in front of a lamp post, this made me fall over and do a forward roll on the concrete and I had a massive egghead for the next few weeks. All of this was while we were holding our swimming kits and mine went flying across to the other side of the road!

I was walking DS into school a few years ago, holding his hand, talking to him, and I walked him right into the letter box outside school.

This will really give me away - unless it is a common occurrence - but it happened at my wedding.

Setting the scene: Beautiful English old manor house, civil wedding in one room, champagne in Orangery, then move into the great hall for a buffet dinner. My new DH and I come in when announced by the Maitre D (who incidentally stepped on the back of my dress and tore it cause he was drunk, but that is another story). Everybody applauds and we sit down at top table in front of the big fireplace.

I am wearing a big beautiful meringue of a dress, and have some trouble sitting but manage it. Then DH and I are invited by the same Maitre D to make our way to the buffet and start the food line. So I get up, but my dress is too pouffy, so I cannot make my way between my chair and DH's. So he tells me to sit down again and he will move his chair so I can get out.

What I do not know is that my Dad has moved my chair out of the way, so I sit down and end up flat on my back on the floor under the table, with 80 pairs of eyes watching me. Luckily because it was over 15 years ago, there were no smart phones in the room, so no real evidence that it ever really happened, just hearsay! The look on my poor Dad's face was a picture!

DH and I were running for the bus, DH being quite a lot faster than me, somhe turned around to see how far away I was, run into a bin and his top half tumbled right inside it, it was hilarious.

As for me, not really an accident but when I was around 12 I went on a horse riding lesson. I got the lazy stubborn horse who didn't like to move much so I was told to keep very short reins to stop him from going after any bit of grass he could find. I was obviously no match for a full grown horse so when it bent down to eat some grass, I was holding the reins so short and so hard that I started sliding down its neck and ended up doing a forward rollypolly to land perfectly in an upright position with my back to the horse.

There was also the time when I, or rather my right leg, went down the gap between the train and the platform...That'll teach me to pay more attention to the tannoy people.

Thought I'd lost this thread but it's in Classics

about 10 years ago I was just about to enter a tube station and lost my footing. I fell and did a kind of goal celebration across the busy ticket office.

I also had a slight mishap with the tens machine I was using for pain relief. I was walking along and somehow knocked it up the highest and fastest setting so I was literally stuck against a wall with my leg randomly kicking out ( a bit like a dog does when u scratch it! ) my sister cried with laughter! !

oh my goodness I dont even think im 1/4 of the way in and im crying so much laughing!

I was out on a date with a guy from work. We went back to his flat and as we neared he decided to scissor jump the wall, presumably trying to be cool, but stumbled and went straight through the front window of the downstairs flat!

Out fishing with now dh for the first time. Whilst walking along the river bank he was looking back at me warningme be careful of rabbit holes. No sooner had hespoke one leg disappeared straight down a hole. I stopped laughing long enough to check he was ok before actually wetting myself a little bit! Was in right up to his groin and would never have got out if he'd been on his own!

Love the self-preservation snowboarding technique of shoving strangers into trees & bins

Years ago I came back to our flat to find a large trail of blood all over our hall. I totally panicked, then I found my flatmate standing on a stepstool in the kitchen running his, ahem, penis under the tap. Apparently he'd really caught it when he was pulling his zip up and the bathroom sink was too awkward to get at. I pissed myself laughing for ages before I went and got him some towels.

This was the same flatmate who in the middle of the night thought he heard someone trying to break in the backdoor of the tenement (it had happened a few weeks before). So he threw open the really heavy double glazed sash window in his room and had to lean right out to have a look because we were on the second floor. The sash fell on top of him and he got stuck half in and half out. His shouting wakened half the people in the tenements behind us before I woke up and rescued him.

He was totally accident prone.

Can I add an ex-colleague's story?

He was on holiday with his DW and three small DSs, and was faffing about trying to be David Bailey balancing on a balcony in an attempt to get a good pic of his family - he managed to fall forwards onto the back of a chair, winding himself and possibly cracking a few ribs - his DW was pissing herself laughing, but agreed to go find the resort doctor.

She passed him their youngest to hold while she ran to get help (who was still at the wobbly-head stage) who promptly nutted him in the face, breaking his nose.

Not entirely sure if this was the same holiday, but they also came home to find their car had been crushed, including x3 car seats etc, as the plonker had forgotten to get a new tax disc. (They'd been away for over three weeks, the 2wks warning letter arrived the day after they left).

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke.

Many years ago in the early 90's I was at college and I worked at a place 'Mum goes to'. In those days we didn't have the claims culture we do now which is probably why my colleague got away with pushing one of the stock cages rather than pulling. Unfortunately for him because he was pushing it he didn't see the rather small old lady leaning into the food cabinet in front of him.
It took two of us to remove the deceptively heavy old dear from the waffle cabinet. Two of us who were wide eyed with tears streaming down our cheeks trying our very best to convey apologies with a bit of free shopping.

Same store and the stock room was upstairs. There were huge plate glass windows up there looking down on the shopping precinct below. The lads had a football up there and would kick it about during breaks, invariably bouncing it off the fluorescent lighting and smashing the tubes so the ball was confiscated. One of the boys had the ingenious idea that they didn't need a ball and a large tin of chappie would suffice. Fortunately for everyone when the tin of dog food went sailing through the huge window and bounced down the precinct it was a very quiet thursday afternoon and miraculously nobody was hurt. We all just stood there and watched as it went through, it was like slow motion. Doubly fortunate for the lads that our manager at the time was just as bloody daft and made up some ridiculous story to explain the flying dog food.