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Original poster

I made a complete tit of myself today and cannot stop cringing. Pat my shoulder

231 replies

Gatekeeper · 20/11/2013 16:49

...and say "there there"

In meeting today and part of it was a discussion about personal illnesses or conditions each of us has/had. I mentioned that most of my family - female side has an underactive thyroid and that I have yearly blood tests as mine is slowly getting there. I said "Thyroid" about ten times

Only I didn't...

I said "prostate" and wondered why the rest of them were looking at me like this Hmm. I clocked what I'd said and said "No, not my prostate, my thryoid. I am actually a women, at least my husband thinks so" ending on a horrible, whinnying haw haw laugh that I haven't heard before.

Ended up doing a comedy wipe of my face, and knocked my glasses off, where they landed on the middle of the floor. I said "shite" when this happened and not quietly either.

Dear God...not one of them cracked a smile or reacted- just looked at me for a split second and then started talking about something else

CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE..I am squirming in my seat just thinking about it

OP posts:
TotallyBursar · 20/11/2013 18:14

I was just reading through thinking 'Well that's not too bad, every one gets words confused sometimes' and then I got to the comedy gold.

There, there. You sound great and they sound like arse parts for not taking the heat off you a bit. Comedy face wipe - that was genius I tell you - Genius.

LineRunner · 20/11/2013 17:51

Oh ffs I actually hurt laughing. Gatekeeper, you are wonderful.

MammaTJ · 20/11/2013 17:48

I would have laughed at with you!! Grin

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 20/11/2013 17:48

Oh and "there there" OP.

(I bet one of them has written 'DRUGS??' next to your name on their notes though)

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 20/11/2013 17:46

Rhonda Wanker? How on earth did she get Wanker from Mark?

CinnamonPorridge · 20/11/2013 17:41

Hahahahahaaaa

Sorry, OP, that is just hilarious Grin

Miserable gits. So much comedy wasted on them.

ghostinthetardis · 20/11/2013 17:39

Thank you for sharing
Grin
Oh and there there.

Original poster
Gatekeeper · 20/11/2013 17:38

mrswast Grin

OP posts:
WaitMonkey · 20/11/2013 17:34

Grin Amazing.

RandallFloyd · 20/11/2013 17:33

Oh I'm sorry but fucking hell that's funny.
I don't often lol but that's a doozy.

What do you do for an encore, trip over your feet and land faced down in the MD's lap?

If tried to give sympathy and head pats I fear I would come across as less than genuine.

Soz and all that.

RhondaJean · 20/11/2013 17:30

Are you my best friend Grin cos she does this all the time!

Best one was when she declared loudly in a packed cafe that if she would ever have a son she would call him...

Wanker.

She meant mark.

She's lovely. Don't be embarrassed!

mrsWast · 20/11/2013 17:30

ohgodohgodohgod.

on my first day at a new job i was close to asking a director when he had met William Shatner.

in the split second before i opened my mouth i realised the photograph was, in fact, of his wife.

Mandy2003 · 20/11/2013 17:30

Sorry you have to work with such a bunch of swivel eyed loons. Pat, pat, pat.

nicename · 20/11/2013 17:25

Wahahahaha!

Almost as good as my mum announcing loudly to a hospital ward that my dad had a 'genital condition' (and not a CONgential condition). We laughed anyway.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/11/2013 17:24

I would have laughed

And thrown in an " Fuck, i always make a dick of myself too" - slightly too loudly so that everyone would have thought I was a right tosser too Blush

myalteregosaysmiow · 20/11/2013 17:22

In situations like this I fail to see how no one can laugh! It would make it 100 times better if they could have a giggle with you about it, what serious periods I've found myself in many a similar situation, many pats and a big Grin !

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 20/11/2013 17:18

Sorry that happened...

But you made me laugh!

I have asked the hairdresser for a "blowjob" before :0

Roomfor1more · 20/11/2013 17:15

Oh dear what a pack of dry arse wallys! Just think though you will look back and laugh, I promise. At least you never kicked a stray piece of underwear from the leg of your trousers across your workplace floor in front of your boss and half your colleagues................................ Not that it never happened to me like Blush

TheNunsOfGavarone · 20/11/2013 17:01

Oh Gatekeeper Grin here's a big pat for your shoulder!

What a boring twunch of bunts you must work with, not to crack even a smile!

I do know what you mean about when a horrible sound comes out of you that you haven't heard before! Not fun.

Time and hopefully this thread too, will make you feel better!

Lemongrab · 20/11/2013 17:01

There there

HaggertyF · 20/11/2013 17:01

Thank you so much for brightening up a crap afternoon at work.

Your embarrassment was not in vain. Thanks

onlysettleforbutterflies · 20/11/2013 17:00

That made me laugh out loud sorry, if nothing else, at least you have made someone laugh today!

MrsCosmopilite · 20/11/2013 16:59

Sorry Gatekeeper but it is actually quite funny.

Did you do an Eric Morecambe glasses wiggle too?

StealthPolarBear · 20/11/2013 16:58

Sorry but im laughing so hard my prostate hurts.
Hooe youre ok. Miserable lot.

MargueriteLeChou · 20/11/2013 16:57

There there Gatekeeper, it's not your fault they were miserable buggers.

It's actually quite funny Grin

This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I'm dysphasic (getting better). No-one ever laughs Sad