I made a complete tit of myself today and cannot stop cringing. Pat my shoulder

At work one day talking about names with three others. One (although I didn't know this yet) had a surname that rhymes with Vader. Let's say Bader...

Someone mentions the name Darth Bader and I immediately guffaw and bark through my laughter "what idiot actually named their kid Darth Bader? How the actual fuck would someone think that was a good idea?" While continually laughing uncontrollably.

Noticing the stricken looks around me I realize I've done a bad thing and dry up. Then want to crawl in a hole when she says "in the 19 years of his life I have NEVER had someone be so rude about my son's name!" And then she flounced.

Cringe. Although I still think his name is fucking ridiculous!!

Thats just it, gate. I CAN'T !! more tommy cooper than Matt Smith .

hope you've gotten over your embarrassment now.

OP I was the embarrassed one . and later went to bed with it on! only realised when I put my head on pillow and it fell off!

good thing I sleep alone!

OP .

and the other posts Ive read

mine was today, I opened the front door to someone knocking , and I had a fez on my head (waiting for Dr Who, DC dressed up!). id forgotten as its so comfortable.

suitably embarrassed and door knocker (theyd got wrong house) didn't know where to look!

Sorry -can't claim to be the v lovely Judy F, but thought it was a good example!

That is funny, Gatekeeper.

On the misnomer theme, my friend spent about 2 weeks last year telling everyone that her dh was staying home because he had cerebral palsy and 'looked really awful'.

She couldn't work out why everyone was until, finally, she realised she meant Bell's Palsy.

When I was an intern I was organising a conference in another country, had got to the stage of confirming delegates, sent an email to my boss about a fairly important woman who was attending. He replied with a joke in the vein of "oh tell her blah blah blah" but although I get the joke now, at the time and via email I didn't understand and actually emailed her and asked her exactly what he'd said.

She was furious and emailed him immediately requesting my head on a plate, fortunately everyone else in the office (including my boss) found it hilarious as she has a rep for being a bit highly strung to begin with and I couldn't have known he was joking. I was so mortified but everyone who'd ever had to deal with her pretty much said I'd made their day.

Met the woman at the conference a few weeks later and feigned total innocence.

Oh newname that takes me back to the one yoga class I went to with my mum (I was a teen so it was a long time ago). Mum did a huge fanny fart and it completely undid the pair of us. We tried to silently giggle (it's impossible) but could not carry on with the class. No one else laughed but were probably relieved that (a) we left the class and (b) it wasn't them that did it.

OK cringe...
Many years ago I was in a yoga class, there was only about 5 people in the class.
The teacher had us with our bums on chairs, legs over the back rest of the chair and shoulders on the floor. To help us stretch I think.
Well during being in this strange position some air got 'sucked up' into my fango.
Well you can imagine what happened when we dismounted the chair,
I let out the biggest fanny fart you have ever heard, and you can not control a fanny fart so it just went on and on
I didn't ever go back to the class again!

your not a medical professional though are you OP, would be an even better story if you were a GP say. (pat pat)

I turned round to my mum in a crowded Woolworths once and said 'I'm BUSTING for a piss.'

The total stranger I was addressing had the grace to murmur her sympathy.

This is the thread that keeps on giving .

I just remembered a cringey moment from when I was about 13. I was swimming lengths with friends, backstroke, and managed to grab a random woman's entire boob as I swung my arm back.

Yes, control over the tool is important. See above.

This week I was giving a talk that involved quoting William Morris, "the workman should again have control over his material, his tools, and his time" - only I read out tool, singular.

I didn't look up and, thankfully, did not hear any stifled laughter though I am a bit deaf

Captainsmuumy's right neil. I don't think any of my MIL's patients were thrilled either, but as she'd say: 'Least said, soonest mended.'

She's a bit brisk, my MIL.

"William Shatner" just killed me.

... or oops, dropped the drill, in the dentist's case.

I'd heard that before Limited - from nurses. If anything reared it's head during bedbaths or similar, a tap with a cold spoon...

A sharp tap where? Surely you don't mean on the thing itself?
Plus he's a dentist. No. No I'm sorry limitedperiodonly but if he'd have done that to me I wouldn't have been happy at all.

MY MIL was a physio. She told me that if any of her patients became alert during manipulation a sharp tap saved embarrassment all round.

Shortly after my auntie was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cervical cells, I took my great uncle into hospital to get some blood taken. He was chirruping away to the girl taking his blood, and was telling her all about the saga. He then said to her in all seriousness "Do you think I'm at risk of getting that, love? Being family, and all that?" The girl was very professional but I thoroughly enjoyed taking the mick

I don't know Wistlin, I just couldn't think straight. I was panicking.

why didnt you say you needed the toilet????!