You daft apeth

Natasha - my family were SE London, fewer Jews and Gypsies? But my grandad went to Catford Dog track every week. Which reminds me. 'Let the dog see the rabbit', if we were crowding round something and needed to move, if someone couldn't see.

Yer - No skates but enjoyed buying my dgd a pair last Xmas.

I also remember using those Orangesanddemons the 'put that in your pipe and smoke it' and 'shove it were the sun don't shine. I'm from Yorkshire so maybe they were used a lot there!

Also remember 'get your skates on' Thymeout. Did you ever get any roller skates? We still use 'what's that got to do with the price of fish'.

Thymeout

Don't remember but it is quite likely! My Nan and Grandad also used 'Gelt' which is a Jewish/Yiddish word for gold or money I think. My Nan had connections with the horse trade through her Grandfather as did my Grandad. I think it might have been how they met through mutual friends and they used to go to car auctions when I was a child where a lot of cash rather than cheques was in use. My Nan also bred and raced greyhounds before and after the war when my Mum was a child and there are a lot of connections between the horse and dog racing trades obviously. She always used the word 'Didicoy' for non Romani/Gypsy people and she knew a few words of the Romani language, specifically ones related to training horses and dogs as this is where she mixed with Romani people most often.

Not sure if it was common to the rest of the country but where I grew up the police cars had a red stripe along their sides and were known as 'Jam Sandwiches', now of course all the forces have their own livery.

Also, got a head like a burst couch.

'Straighten your face' if you look sullen
'Got a head like Birkenhead' if you have messy bed hair

I remember Put that in your pipe and smoke it. No one ever says that anymore.

I now say you can shove it where the sun don't shine. Sound better in Yorkshire dialect as in Tha can shove it where the sun don't shine

We had cheeky arab, daft apeth, dragged through a hedge backwards; but it was Piffey on a lettuce leaf in our house.
My mum still uses the phrase "blood and stomach pills" to convey annoyance.

Natasha - did you have 'half a dollar' for five shillings?(25p) Wish we had the same exchange rate now. And 'a farthingsworth', a v small quantity.

My family were cockney, thought 'pee' and 'wee' were a bit rude. They said 'diddle' - from Jimmy Riddle. Also 'rozzers' for the police. Don't know where that comes from. But lots and lots of rhyming slang.

'Get your skates on' for 'hurry up!' (A bit of a sore point for me. I always wanted roller skates and they were too 'dear'.

'What's that got to do with the price of fish?' when someone said something off topic.

We used to say that one Orangesanddemons about 'what you waiting for, christmas? Then when it was very nearly Christmas we said 'what are you waiting for, next Christmas?'

Laquila the ones like 'better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick', were used (by us anyway) when you had to do something you didn't want to do, or if you'd stubbed your toe, or cut your finger

My family come from East London and Hertfordshire and my Nan and Mum used 'all fur coat and no knickers' as above and 'all kippers and curtains' when I was a child which mean the same thing of someone pretending to have more money than they actually have.

My Grandad used to say 'how's yer luck?' in greeting, I think I've the only other place I've heard it though was in 'Only Fools and Horses' and he would use cack handed for clumsy.

They also used 'more front than Blackpool' (which I suppose could be similar to the above but I think it means audacity/cheekiness) and my Grandad used 'cow son when he was drunk (he was too polite to use it when he was sober!), pony and monkey for sums of money and a kite for a cheque.

My Mum used 'cloth ears' when we were children and not listening also 'deaf as a post' (bit of a theme there!)

That won't butter no parsnips, meaning that won't get you much money

I don't know about the finny haddock border on sky blue pink.

Where I come from it's sky blue pink and red all over.

And a seasonal one. What are you waiting for? Christmas? To those who won't get a move on, or indeed a wriggle on.

Wouldn't get to hell in a handcart is also another favourite....

He looked like a matchstick with the wood scraped off / his legs were like knots on cotton! (He was thin)

Do you want a slap across the belly with a wet fish? /a poke in the eye with a sharp stick? (God knows what these meant!)

Stop standing there like Piffy on a rock bun (stop standing there looking gormless)

There's enough blue sky to make a pair of sailor's trousers (stop moaning - the weather's not that bad)

All from my Mancunian family

I have plenty of (Australian flavored) ones of these, but I have heard loads of the above from my kiwi parents and grandparents.

Flat out like a lizard drinking - very busy indeed

Few sandwiches short of a picnic/ a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock / as thick as two short planks / as thick as pigshit - not very bright

My mum always told us kids, that we were 'carrying on like a pork chop', ie making a fuss. She never knew what it meant. Then we heard the full expression - ','carrying on like a pork chop at a Jewish wedding'. !!!

My father used to say ""Bunkum!" if something was incorrect.

Information on something (like leaflets or instruction manuals, that sort of thing) was called "Guff".

An old boyfriend used to say, "I'm so hungry, I could eat the dick off a low flying duck."

Ooooh - lots of them:

"Stop acting like Sarah Bernhardt" if we were being overly dramatic or whiny

"What Jock shot at the loch" - if we were pestering to know what was for tea

"What's good to gie is good to tak" - ie if someone's acting unreasonably/unfairly they shouldn't be surprised if people act the same way in response

Being "left to cool in the skin you got hot in" - not reacting to someone being unreasonable or a child having a temper tantrum

My Mum also talks about the wreck of the Hesperus and "looking like a bag of rags"

Jesus wept that made NO sense!

It means you need to get on with the task in hand, or it will go bad for you.

Oh and 'not as green as he's cabbage looking' is a backhanded compliment.

Ohh not read 'you'll 'ave me in Dickie's medah' which is Lancastrian and means if I don't do get in smart us hand do something, it's like bring in Richard IIIs meadow. Us Lamcastrians, we bear a grudge for a long long time!

And another racist one, to the question, 'where is mum?' 'She's run away with a black man!' Shocking!

playground threat: 'd'yer want a knuckle butty?'

We say 'Cute as a button" in our house AnyFuckerForAScone

Another one DH sometimes says is when someone asks what's for dinner he says 'shit with sugar on'.

I have just reached SlangKing's post.

I tell my dc to stop being a big girls blouse.

Daft apeth is a favourite too.

Does anyone else say Cute as a button? Game as a pebble - that was my grandad and the only other place I have seen it is in Georgette Heyer which he definitely didn't read!

Another classic - "I'm neither use nor ornament!" meaning looking & feeling shite today!