Strangest complaint you've ever received

I've asked for this to go in Classics, I'm loving it!

I may have offered to book a couple of idiots in for makeovers after their choice words to me

I used to work for The Body Shop,our phone number was unbeleivably one digit out from the local car body shop,think 0207 123 1212 and 0207 123 1221(not the real numbers!)
Every single week I would answer 'good morning TBS Londontown' and get a man asking for car repair quotes etc,I would politely explain that no this wasn't the car body shop but The Body Shop,yes they know that,how much is an exhaust pipe that kind of thing,I would explain no we sell makeup etc.
And yes I know the number is almost identical,no I didn't choose to do that myself.yes I know it's stupid (highly edited)

"I want my money back on these glasses, it's a disgrace, whenever I wear them things are just too clear".

Honestly.

I hate people.

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The only one I have had that was funny was when I worked in BUPA on reception. A woman started shouting and screaming because when the Consultant called her name he didn't refer to her as her proper title as 'Lady' and that she comes to BUPA accepting people to know the difference and to be treated with the correct level of respect - but she kept shouting BUPA so all the other staff members down the hall could hear was "grumble grumble BUPA!".

All the time she was shouting and screaming the consultant stayed quiet until she finished, then said "I'm sorry, I can not accept this complaint as you keep aiming it at a "Dr" where as I am "Professor" . I am however medically trained to work on people of any class so let talk about your medical issues shall we?"

She was forever referred to as "Lady BUPA"

Marking

I used to work on a cruise ship. You would not believe how many people would complain about the wind. General complaining about the weather I can understand, but they all expected me to do something about it!

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Laughing out loud at the 14 page A4 complaint letter

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I used to sit on the Quality Assurance committee for the hospital I worked in. Part of our role was to receive and respond to complaints.

My favourites were:

The person who complained their mum had been without her teeth for about 48 hours. We think she had thrown them in a clinical waste bin, and it took the hospital a couple of days to arrange to get her measured and fitted for a new set of dentures. The relative complained that ward staff didn't sift through each and every clinical waste bag before disposal to make sure patients hadn't thrown something away they shouldn't have.

The man visiting his father who, after his father had been discharged, sent us a 14 page A4 letter listing his concerns about his care. It read like this:

Tuesday, 1336 staff nurse sneezed and didn't leave the ward to change their uniform
1355 man in bed opposite made a loud noise
1412 doctor woke my father up to examine him
1500 the ward orderly made me move my chair so she could clean his bedside locker and change his water jug

I now work in a GP surgery and we get some howlers. My recent favourite is the patient who made a formal complaint that she had to travel up to the hospital for her operation, and why could 't the GP do her hernia repair in the surgery.

When I worked at a charity I once took a call from a lady who wanted us to cancel her direct debit. None of her details were on my database - and she shouted at me for 20 minutes and told me that the charity was shit etc. It turned out that her direct debit was with another charity entirely...

Some doozies from my days in a publishing call centre / marketing dept:

A complaint that there were not enough glasses wearers shown in our materials.

A ranting lady complaining that we were closed on Christmas Day. Bloody unreasonable, apparently.

And my favourite... not a complaint, but a telephone query. We used to sell a book about the menopause by a well-known author. In it, the author had recommended various products for vaginal dryness. The woman was calling on behalf of her mum, who was interested in said products. I was a bit perplexed (having not read the book) and suggested KY-jelly. 'Oh no, my dad's allergic to that.' I ended up ringing the local Boots for her and calling her back.

I used to work with a girl who complained that she didn't like it when I peeled an orange.

Had always thought it was a lovely smell. Not anti-social at all. I didn't complain about her bag of fast food that she brought back to the office.

Worked for HMRC for many years...........

The best I can remember offhand is the guy who ranted at me on the phone for 10 mins effing and blinding.........

He was self employed and needed to make an insurance claim for loss of earnings, can I provide evidence?
Sure, can send letter giving details of all income declared on his Returns for past 6 years.

No good says he, that's not my real income - only what I declared to you lot. I earned shed loads more than that and won't get worthwhile insurance payout on the piddling amounts I declared.

Tell you what, sez I, you can disclose to us retrospectively what you REALLY earned these past six years, pay us the back tax (plus interest & penalties), then I can do you a nice letter with all the correct income for the insurance claim......

10 seconds of complete silence, then he completely lost it

a customer complained we don't sent a statement every time he makes a transaction on this specific account he has with us and also complaining we send them too many paying in slips when he orders a stationery pack - waste of paper apparently..

I work in a bank complaints dept. It really beggars belief some of the complaints we get.

We get a lot of 'how can I feed my child' complaints late on a Friday when all the money in the account has gone to betfred or bingo online.

A few weird ones where the customer wants us to make a transfer from to and will not accept that we can't do it!

Was looking at a PPI complaint today for a colleague - was found in favour for the customer, even though he had claimed on his PPI for the entire course of the loan! He owed us money and promptly declined to sign the acceptance of the complaint!

I remember working in Accessorize as a teenager and this woman flouncing out of the shop after a refund was declined on a hat. It was covered in make up and ripped - she said it had never been worn!

working in a betting shop there was a constant stream of idiots

some dickhead shouted at me cos he had placed a bet then lost his money when his horse lost. erm duh thats kind of the risk you take when you place a bet?

he then yelled that i was a "white slag" and threw a load of leaflets in my face, he was a 6 foot man and i was a tiny skinny 18 year old girl

horrible cunt

i walked out not long after that

Oh so many. There was the customer who ranted and raved for half an hour then accused my manager of abusing him and being threatening (his wife even called to complain about his treatment. This stopped when said manager said that several customers had said they felt intimidated by the man) our crime? Not being able to get his watch back from the watchmaker any faster. Said watch company is based in Japan.

Then there was the one who knocked me to the floor when I was pregnant as I tried to get through the massive queue to the counter to serve someone and, you know, reduce the queue.

Then the woman who sent us a letter, hand delivered, calling us a bunch of cunty bitches and accusing us of swearing at her (never happened) and insisting she would never come back. Obviously it being an anonymous letter we'll never know if she did!

The one who swore up and down that we hadn't told her earrings are non returnable and when we pointed to the massive sign on the wall stating this and the back of the receipt where it also explained the returns policy, claimed we hadn't given her a receipt and the signs hadn't been there last week.

Working in woolworths as a teenager I was approached by an absolutely irate man. He was FURIOUS and dragged me over to the pic and mix jabbering and pointing at the container with quality streets in. There were no purple caramel ones left and he was fuming at this. He was that minute going to go home and call trading standards unless I opened a box of quality street and let him pick out the purple ones. I was 16 and therefore just stared at him in a teenagery way as he threatened me with the police for false advertising. Thankfully I was rescued by an older colleague so just backed slowly away and watched from behind the umbrella stand as he reaching a shouting crescendo and then flounced out the store.

I have always thought since that the introduction of boxes filled with just purple quality street some years later must have been like all his Christmases coming at once.

Third time lucky!

Info there but it was there as a direct result of his complaint years earlier. He denied all knowledge.

Not sure my story was worthy of three posts though, sorry!

Stupid phone!

Completely transparent. All good, made both ours and the customers lives easier. Fast forward about five years, and I dealt with a complaint from someone saying that the website wasn't clear enough with regards to NCD. Because I'd had it updated I knew it was and was always able to direct people to where the info was. During the course of the call I checked the notes on this customers policy and there were notes from me from years before, it was the same bloke! I took great satisfaction in telling him that not only was the

I work for an insurance company and a few years ago I had a complaint from someone regarding our rules on No Claims Discount not being clear online. He had a very valid point so after a fair few calls with various departments I managed to get the website updated so that everything was x