Strangest complaint you've ever received

I worked as a bingo caller and during an interval a lady complained that every time she got down to two numbers I 'changed my voice so she wouldn't win'.

Another time while I was calling, a customer won a large jackpot of a few thousand pounds. Everyone was really pleased for her and when I went over to congratulate her, she looked at me like I'd shat on her baby and said "THAT won't pay my electric bill, you fucking idiot!" and walked out of the hall loudly shouting about how rubbish I was and how I'd conned her.

The manager took her membership card and asked her not to come back.

In a previous job somebody wrote to head office threatening legal action because I'd "looked at him funny"

"You have a nice rack but your nipples aren't brown enough."

THEN was puzzled when I broke things off with him shortly after!

I own a small marketing company, a client cancelled his contract last week complaining that we have found him too many new customers and he can't keep up with the pace anymore

When working for a Housing Association - slugs are coming into my garden from next door....

I was once shouted at for over an hour by a man who was unhappy with the care his wife had received in labor. In a previous pregnancy. That she'd had at another hospital. Where I'd never worked. In a country I'd never visited. Before I'd even qualified as a midwife!

I'm a landlord.

A tenant complained that the birds' dawn chorus kept waking her up and what was I going to do about it? (Kill all songbirds in East London perhaps? I really don't know what she expected).

And another one wanted me to send a pest control company round as when he sat outside in the evening he kept getting mossie bites. (Considering there was no standing water in the garden, which was in any case the size of a pocket hankerchief, even if you could get pest control to spray mosquitos in your garden, which I doubt, it would hardly be likely to make any difference - I tried to explain this to no avail).

I had a student complain about me because I gave him some assignment feedback in my staffroom rather than a classroom. [Confused]

I had to be told about the complaint so I asked my boss about how the investigation would work. She said, "this is the investigation." She was as bemused as me.

I once addressed an e-mail to 'Dear Colleagues' and got severely bollocksed by my boss because I was just a newbie and how dare I place myself on the same footing as some of the illustrious people working with me.

True story.

I once called Live and Kicking (Saturday morning TV) up and asked them to be quieter because I was hung over and the TV remote was too far away for me to reach, the guy on the other end of the phone couldn't say anything for laughing.

Another time I phoned up sky and asked them to ask the sign language lady at the bottom of the screen to take a step to the right because I couldn't see a bit of what was happening. The guy on the end of the line there was trying to be so professional in his advice as well, but was also laughing.

I came to the conclusion that me + alcohol + a phone + a TV = me being an idiot and making stupid complaints.

heymicky- your winning in my book!

hahahahahahaha!

Oh, I am loving these

I work for a major broadcaster. We recently had a complaint that our social media should not be publicising soaps, it should be talking about Jeaus because he fixes the drama in people's lives

Remembered another from when I was waitressing.

A set menu was given for a function one night. It had a separate vegetarian option.

Customer asks me if her soup is fully vegetarian and made with veg stock. I said yes, I'm sure. She asked me to check with the chef. I did. Returned and told her it was indeed vegetarian.

She then asks to speak to the chef. So she asks him the same questions then announced she didn't believe us and wouldn't eat it!

Madness.

I work at a local paper and our editor had a complaint letter the other day from a woman who didn't like being described in an article as a 'grieving widow' saying: "I'm not grieving. I was married to him for 40yrs and it was bloody hard work."

As a waitress I had a lady tell me it was my fault her son had died.

I felt quite sorry for her as she was obviously grieving but after twenty minutes of being followed around the restaurant while she ranted and swore I had to ask her to leave.

That was actually the day I left. Final straw type incident - the manager knew what was going on but didn't intervene at all.

Dame thanks for the link. It is hilarious, wish I'd have known it back then, could have had a good laugh.

Working in a call center someone decided they shouldn't have to repay a loan and wanted to complain about me having the cheek to suggest they should. I gave my name as asked and they refused to believe me! I ended up saying Oh fine Yes you caught me my name is really Michelle. They very patronisingly said there, doesn't that feel good to tell the truth? I agree, they ringoff. 5 mins later a very confused manager asked who Michelle was.

CAn you clarfiy that last but disgrace - I feel I am missing a joke.

A couple of weeks ago someone tried to order "BBQ Ribs, but with none of the boney stuff" I was certain no-one would actually try and order ribs without ribs so replied "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understood that properly, what is it you were after?" Upon which he complained that the ribs he ordered last week had too many bones in them, so could he order some more but with no bone this time

I worked in a supermarket depot, which happened to have a competitor's store 300 yards away. The delivery vehicles used the same access road.

On a regular basis the Tossco depot would get complaints about Sodbury's vehicles and vice versa.

There was also the man who wanted an HGV driver sacked for sticking to the speed limit. He was a shareholder and his dividends were being reduced by "this ridiculous work to rule".

Somehow his name, address and registration were leaked to the fleet. I believe he has a never ending supply of groceries, especially eggs.

That reminds me, Spanish night, lady complained that her soup was cold. (Gazpacho, and yes, the menu description did say it was served chilled!)

Had one woman complain that her single espresso was "literally half the size" of her husband's double espresso.

Another complained that her iced mocha was cold.

.

Worked for a well known major supermarket on the customer service desk. One day, I was on my own and a customer, elderly chap, brought back a half chewed bit of something unidentified wrapped in clingfilm. It turned out to be a piece of meat from a chicken pie that was inedible apparently. After apologising profusely, I offered him either a refund or a replacement. This is where is went really weird. He told me he was a high functioning medium and would have to ask for some advice from the spirit world as to whether he should accept a replacement. He put his hands up to his head, went really quiet like he was concentrating on something and apparently started to converse with the spirit world. As you can imagine, I'm a bit by this point. Typical that nobody else is there to witness this either! Anyway, after his chat with the dead, he decides that yes he will have a replacement after all. Wtf? Had subsequent dealings with same customer - once he wrote an essay on the back of a bit of old cereal packet alleging that mercury was present in the product and it was facilitating communication with aliens or something equally strange. Needless to say, I didn't escalate that one!!