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the kids have named the baby budgie....

261 replies

gussiegrips · 15/10/2013 20:38

For reasons which have passed me by, we seem to be having to hand rear a baby budgie.

It is very small and wasn't responding well yesterday. It appears to have grey feathers, like it's dad.

I warned the kids that it was likely to die, and they were not, under any circumstances to give it a name not after the rabbit debacle.

Naturally, I overheard "well, he's grey. We should name him after something to do with grey".

uh oh

"Graeme"

Graeme the budgie. So named, because he's grey. Hope the fecker lives now. Cheered me up no end.

Graeme.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 12/11/2013 10:57

Just noticed your profile says 'I do a wee bit of stand up comedy (started as a bucket-list thing'

Grin
notsosqueakyclean · 12/11/2013 08:26

Thank you small- I didn't know you could do that! Simply marvellous.

SmallMechanicalBrain · 11/11/2013 14:44

Notso - click on Gussie's username, you get to her profile and can click a link to photos from there.

notsosqueakyclean · 11/11/2013 14:36

I can't see any links to photos and I SO want to see the pics of Graeme!! I'm on an ipad- do they not cope with such things?! Help someone please!!!

PacificDogwood · 11/11/2013 07:53

What on earth is Graeme sitting on on your most recent photo?
A StarWars thingumajig??
Budgie in Space Grin

notsosqueakyclean · 11/11/2013 07:49

gussie thank you for the excellent advice.....I am coming up to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks' time to visit my sister- perhaps I could pop in and pop out Grin

whethergirl · 10/11/2013 13:01

Just get comfortable with the idea of shitting yourself being part of your future. I will admit this level of comfort will be difficult to achieve. But not impossible.

Gorgeous Graeme the most amazing Oliver Twistesque budgie in the universe is growing on me. He does remind me of a pathetic ex dp but I'm trying to get over that.

PacificDogwood · 10/11/2013 09:22

Epic posting, gussie Grin

Oh Great Graeme, the Best Budgie Evah, I bow to your refound perching skills, your feather-growing and Brilliant Budgieness

gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:14

Kerala - pro-choice rabbits, I love that!

We should get Wendy Davies onto the case. She'd sort out neutering female bunnies in a flash.

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:12

Fuckery - report him.

He deserves it.

The wee fucker.

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:12

And, whether, actually, I look after Graeme better than I look after my kids...that's a bit of a worry. Wonder where the kids are, they probably should brush teeth or similar.

Graeme's been fed, bathed and is having a wee snuggle in the crook of my elbow...oh dear. Mumfail again.

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:10

whethergirl, no, you don't need to do the exercises. Not at all.

Just get comfortable with the idea of shitting yourself being part of your future.

My advice would be to do them, or I'll set Graeme on you.

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:07

MrsW - stuff the budgie. Please let me be a Weegie Bird for the weekend.

I miss Glasvegas. Edinburgh is all very nice, but, oh, what fun I had during my formative years in Glasgow.

Thanks, that's a really kind offer. He could become like the class hamster, doing the rounds of MN?

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:05

Aj - THE DOG ATE HIM?

Do you still know this dog? Could he catch a wearisome budgie?

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 09:04

Squeaky -best thing to do is show your fanjo to someone who is well versed in them. Like, a medic, not a lothario.

If you can feel a dragging sensation, or you have pain DownBelow and, you fancy some independent investigating then, well, prolapse spotting is easy now we have the wonders of the web. Get yourself a handmirror and an uninterrupted 15 minutes. Google "grade 1" and "Grade 2 vaginal prolapse".

do not, under any circumstances, open anything showing beyond a grade 2 You will need to cillit bang your eyeballs.

Have a look at your own bits. Anything bulging out? Nope?

Try coughing, pushing down and have another keek, anything bulging out? Nope?

Well, still take your fanny to someone who knows what they are doing, because not all prolapses are externally visible.

And, the good thing about having someone fish about in there is they can assess your pelvic floor muscle strength and teach you how to do them properly.

It's worth getting the hang of it. Apart from the whole pishing yourself issue, it makes sex less of a chore.

Truly.

Ask me how I know.

So, GP, ask for a referral to a women's health physio - and, #doyerblardyexercises.

Cures up to 80% of simple stress incontinence and means you don't have to daydream about Commander Hadfield in order to have an orgasm

OP posts:
gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 08:57

Janfrank - to clarify, the reason I thought he would die was because his mother had abandoned him. He was cold, hungry and dehydrated.

Kind of like an ugly Oliver Twist.

I'm hoping I get cast as Nancy and not Fagin in this poor analogy.

OP posts:
OrchidLass · 10/11/2013 08:39

Best wishes to ya Graeme. And to your humans. Smile

kerala · 10/11/2013 08:33

Gussie we had 2 "female" rabbits. Ended up with 7 I had to rehome and she got pregnant again before we even realised she had given birth! Whisked her to vet for spaying am def pro choice when it comes to rabbits

gussiegrips · 10/11/2013 08:29

Uh oh. Fame has gone to his head. Erm, Graeme has asked me to make a statement on his behalf:

He would from now on like to be referred to as "Graeme - The Best Budgie Evah". If you do not address him using his preferred moniker, he will have you killed.

Graeme will not respond to idiots, sycophants, or people not bearing millet.

He likes to be tickled on the cheek for an hour at a time. No tickling, no interaction.

If you would like to him to appear on your television show, please ensure that the Green Room is not...he prefers grey. He likes Hendricks Gin, with cucumber ok, gin's for his agent, cucumber's for the bird.

Graeme would like everyone to know that he can, once more, perch. His latest press release image can be found on the "photos" page.

Please present your shoulders, ready for pooping upon.

Thank you.

OP posts:
BroodyTroody · 10/11/2013 00:09

Too tired to read the whole thread, but cannot wait to come back to read some more!

Thanks For you OP!

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 09/11/2013 23:49

But just read Jsnfrank's message. Dear gods woman she is investing a serious anoint of time looking after this wee thing. I couldn't do it. So Thanks op and Biscuit Jan.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 09/11/2013 23:44

I didn't get the janfrank post either. To reference the last great MN thread: could that poster be on glue?

PacificDogwood · 09/11/2013 23:43

Ohwhatfuckery (apt name btw), you reported Graeme? Shock
Tut.
Grin

MrsWedgeAntilles · 09/11/2013 23:42

Who did you report?

whethergirl · 09/11/2013 23:41

janfrank, the OP looks after Graeme (he has a name, an excellent one at that, please use it) better than I look after my own child.