Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
avaheart · 10/10/2013 13:38

everybody's jiggling, cause jiggling just fine. Grin

HRHwheezing · 10/10/2013 13:37

My cousin who lives in the US had heard of this thread.

OP you are truely international. I'm off to pound land ...

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 13:35

TheRealChurchill Miley who?

I thought that was ball-wrecker, not ballcutter... :)

TheRealChurchill · 10/10/2013 13:28

*I'm thinking of going for a Fifty Shades of upgrade from the fish-pedicure-in-a-glass-by-the-bed. Gentlemen - cower, and witness the munching power of this armed and fully operational Ballcutter Pacu Cleaning Station

Beware if your laydee has an interest in tropical fish!!*

That wasnt a mysterious fish, That was Mile136

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 13:28

Apparently those ballcutter fish incidents were in Dong Thap. Now, if only they had a 'dong tap' installed in their bedrooms, they wouldn't need to go swimming with dong-munching fish...

avaheart · 10/10/2013 13:26

And then, out of nowhere, comes the funny yet shocking picture of piranhas having more than they can bite off.. Confused

avaheart · 10/10/2013 13:21
Shock tell the truth... He just wiggled his Wagner in the fish bowl, doesn't he?!?
honeybeeridiculous · 10/10/2013 13:20

I laughed so much reading these threads last night I peed myself! DS kept asking what on earth could be so funny, incidentally DH uses my towelling hair turban which conveniently hangs within easy reach of the bed, Grin

ZingWantsCake · 10/10/2013 13:18

mardy you did miss the one about penis swiping though.
thankfully it did not become an Internet sensation (as I was quite involved) but it was bloody funny nevertheless! Grin

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 13:18

I'm thinking of going for a Fifty Shades of upgrade from the fish-pedicure-in-a-glass-by-the-bed. Gentlemen - cower, and witness the munching power of this armed and fully operational Ballcutter Pacu Cleaning Station

Beware if your laydee has an interest in tropical fish!!

madeofkent · 10/10/2013 13:17

I feel really boring now. Is there a market out there for a non-spill fit-all-sizes bendy penis-dunker I wonder? Maybe with a little drying unit attached? Low spin only?

avaheart · 10/10/2013 13:17

Funny, though... Now that I think about it...

Bunson was green, breaker was kinda, ginger.

And now I have an even worse mental image. Blush Grin

Wishfulmakeupping · 10/10/2013 13:17

why share this with the world? I'm not sure it's for real
But I want to believe...just like Santa is real

RacheyMo2 · 10/10/2013 13:08

?????? his bloody funny!!!!! X

mardykerrie · 10/10/2013 13:08

What the actual frig???

This is the funniest thing I've ever read on the internet, bravo!

musicismylife · 10/10/2013 12:55

Hmm why share this with the world? I'm not sure it's for real.

butterfuyinahurricane..here, have a sip of Brew

Grin
musicismylife · 10/10/2013 12:41

wetting*

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 12:41

loolaalol & minkster You're welcome... If this feeding frenzy is anything to go by... (just wait until 2:00 minutes in!)

The 'Jaws' music makes all the difference... :)

ButterflyInAHurricane · 10/10/2013 12:39

Hmm why share this with the world? I'm not sure it's for real.

Perplexed4401 · 10/10/2013 12:39

To each his own but very clinical. As i have to get up anyway, I use the bathroom, wet one half hand towel with warm soapy water and deliver it when I return. Use other half of towel for drying. A gesture he greatly appreciates and some intimacy is retained. First time we slept together he was so impressed....imagine the points you will score by trying the same. Sometimes though we jump in the shower together if we have to be up early.

musicismylife · 10/10/2013 12:38

One of my exes would have needed an egg cup Smile

fairylee

Weting myself Grin

loolaalol · 10/10/2013 12:30

DeathStar the very thought "fish penii-cure" omg lost it now!

WillDemps · 10/10/2013 12:27

I saw this on the Telegraph site and had to register.

I DEFINITELY do not have a Penis Beaker, and don't know anyone who does!

If anyone does feel the need to have some, a local company near me are selling them! Classic!

www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk/wholesale-joblot-keep-him-clean-penis-beaker.htm

KnightRob · 10/10/2013 12:26

Do Members of Parliament use the Beaker of the House of Commons?

loveolives · 10/10/2013 12:23

Erm, can't say we do...