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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
beakeraddict · 10/10/2013 22:20

us beaker users are trailblazers.
soon everyone will be doing it, and also sitting on the toilet facing the cistern, it's the way forward.
Yours, A.Clean Knob

Manthing · 10/10/2013 22:17

Hi bikerwitch. I've just bid on it on eBay. Let's see where this takes us!
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/151140907262?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

glorysupporter · 10/10/2013 22:08

Was signposted to this post through two links on face book and has passed the time and provided great amusement whilst on my sick bed! I can't help but feel sorry for the OP though. If this was something that they first did as youngsters in their parents houses, then maybe they know no different and just carried on with tradition. My first bf used to go to the bathroom to "clean up" after sex and 9 times out of 10 I would be asleep by the time he came back. For years I thought this was the norm! It wasn't until we split and the next bf would just remove the condom, cuddle in and go to sleep and bin said condom the following morning that I started to wonder what the first guy used to spend so long in the bathroom doing!

I am worried that the OP has not posted for a while!

contrarianaquarian · 10/10/2013 21:38

To avoid confusion, the beaker should be labeled
"FOR JUNK- DUNKING ONLY"
:D :D :D

Manthing · 10/10/2013 21:34

Forgive me but I smell a marketing opportunity here!

Robin222 · 10/10/2013 21:18

This is the most hilarious topic I've ever read!

LittlePeaPod · 10/10/2013 21:02

Still crying every time I read this... Thank you Op

wendyjoy · 10/10/2013 20:56

SaraCrewe I salute you.... I woke up feeling fed up with the world..until I read this...if you only had a quid for every comment mentiond! you could become a very rich lady...will you be going on Lorraine? This morning? Jeremy Kyle? Jonathan Ross? think" loose Women" would be the best one... what a laugh that would be...please let us all know in good time...

Lweji · 10/10/2013 20:52

Just waiting for this to reach the non-English speaking country I live in...

wendyjoy · 10/10/2013 20:50

I read about this thread in the metro this morning....

Trying saying this rhyme fast three times " TIME TO POINT PERCY TO THE POUNDSHOP PLASTIC PENIS POT"...........

P.S the poundshop have sold out and are ordering more supplies...

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 20:48

HandsomeJohnny What do you normally do in such circumstances, not nookie-related? Use the downstairs understairs cupboard? Compost heap? Pop round to the neighbour's? Down the road to use the ones in Asda?

If you have a prior need, surely you should take your turn on the poo flume first. (Height restrictions apply).

chookiechick · 10/10/2013 20:48

I am never drinking from a glass in a hotel ever again... who knows, it might have had some guys penis dunked in it! Shock

chookiechick · 10/10/2013 20:44

I love the willy in the milk story.... having said that, I know the perils of chilli and private parts.... tip here - never ever go to the toilet and wipe your lady-bits when you have been chopping chilli unless you are very sure that your hands are totally clean first... I made that mistake once. Painful does not describe it!

Happydays12345 · 10/10/2013 20:40

I don't know why my CLEAN sex towel that gets washed after each use and isn't used for any other purposes is RANKER than a dirty pair of boxers?

Like I said we rarely use it because its always in the wash. Tissues do a good enough job.

HandsomeJohnny · 10/10/2013 20:38

What happens if he needs a poo and you're already occupying the throne?

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 20:33

I'm sensing dark forces at work already... Hearing the future echoes of the advice of women to each other, in Starbucks and by watercoolers, all around the world...

"Are you sure, Deirdre, that he isn't just using you as his penis beaker?"

[brainscream] [fingersinearslalalanotlistening]

zoelikesjam · 10/10/2013 20:22

like wkft said...we used to use something/dirty washing a clean towel and then shower in the morning.....

penis beaker in the DW....EWWWWWW

cooperv1 · 10/10/2013 20:11

My friend once came home to discover her husband sat with his Willy in a glass of cold milk. Apparently, he'd been chopping Chilli's when he 'accidentally' touched his member. No, we didn't believe that it was an accident either!

BabylonReturns · 10/10/2013 20:11

I. Love. Mumsnet!

SauvignonBlanche · 10/10/2013 20:07

Eww, I'll never complain about the wet patch again!

OpheliaMonarch · 10/10/2013 20:07

SaraCrewe so erm! came here via Graham Murkett's new video. (Somegreybloke is fabulous!)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkDZHavM9kE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZkDZHavM9kE

Guessing this threads going to get a bit of attention Grin

SolidGoldBrass · 10/10/2013 20:05

I did know a bloke who used to wipe his knob on a cuddly toy. His own cuddly toy, I hasten to add, not the baby's.

Rolypolysrock · 10/10/2013 20:02

Why would you not dunk your willy?!?
I try and dunk my foo foo too but it usually ends in a spillage.

Ashy7777 · 10/10/2013 19:46

Lol your all crazy... I just wait for her to go for a wash, then wipe it on her pillow ( job done).

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