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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
DameFanny · 08/10/2013 14:49

Muff sieve?

DameFanny · 08/10/2013 14:48

Waaaaah! [laughwee]

I was just getting back in control of my face when hiddenhome posted her viakal tip

[laughcry]

RevelsRoulette · 08/10/2013 14:42
Grin
kotinka · 08/10/2013 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RevelsRoulette · 08/10/2013 14:36

With your what now?

what on earth do you keep up your muff that requires sieving?

GeraldineAubergine · 08/10/2013 14:24

I thought I was unusual with my muff sieve but im practically ordinary.

BaronessBomburst · 08/10/2013 14:12

Of course, even.

BaronessBomburst · 08/10/2013 14:12

Off course. It's bright green plastic. Plastic things always have to go in the top rack or they disintegrate more quickly.

RevelsRoulette · 08/10/2013 14:08

so all the salty goodness can drip down onto the rest of the dishes.

I'm never going for dinner at her house.

KatoPotato · 08/10/2013 14:06

Top rack.

BaronessBomburst · 08/10/2013 14:06

In the dishwasher, apparently!

roundtable · 08/10/2013 14:03

I think I'm going to regret asking this but how, where and when is the penis beaker washed? Grin

buildingmycorestrength · 08/10/2013 13:45

Still18 you have just won Mumsnet.

Still18atheart · 08/10/2013 13:39

Adds a whole new definition to the word cocktail.

Blatherskite · 08/10/2013 13:27

The tricorn hat and the jam jar full of cloudy water has finished me off. I can no longer breathe for laughing Grin

Please, please, pleeeeaaasssee tell us what the other necessary equipment is! I feel like all my sexual conquests to date have been severely lacking as I've never needed more than a condom, a bit of tissue and a wee!

tshirtsuntan · 08/10/2013 13:23

Omg- my OH can barely drink out of a beaker without dribbling it down his front, I dread to think of the splashing cocky mess that would ensue if he tried to waggle his knob in one.......;)

ActuallyMadness · 08/10/2013 13:20

Here it's - 'yay, the baby's asleep, I'd better get on MN and find out more about penis beakers' .....

Bearbehind · 08/10/2013 13:11

Hundreds of women are going to eye their OH's very suspiciously tonight if they even dare enter the bedroom carrying a vessel of any description!

They'll either burst out laughing or zip up their onesies!

cocoleBOO · 08/10/2013 13:03

Good grief, if I saw someone advancing on my foof with a mouthful of crackling sweets I'd kick him in the face.
That can't be hygenic.

No knob dunking here. Wipe with a tissue, and then wash the tissue stuck all over his willy off in the morning.

FetchezLaVache · 08/10/2013 13:01

Sara, next time you must set off for the bathroom as usual, then stand outside the bedroom door for 30 seconds before re-entering on the spurious grounds that you have forgotten something, so that you can see exactly how he performs the knob wash and report back!

BaronessBomburst · 08/10/2013 12:59

GeraldineAubergine You just sit down dear - I'll put the kettle on and make us a nice cup of tea.

Grin Grin

GeraldineAubergine · 08/10/2013 12:57

I have visions of the cock cup being held by a swiss woman saying "ooh ambasadoor wiz zis spunk water you are really spoiling uz" whilst a naked man in a tricorn hat slowly rotates his appendage in a jam jar full of cloudy water. Have I gone too far? I fear so.

Kaluki · 08/10/2013 12:44

I stick my fanjo in a salad spinner and hope for the best
Grin Grin
That actually made me choke on my coffee!!!

Bearbehind · 08/10/2013 12:42

This is the funniest thread I've ever read!

I won't ever think of Tracy Beaker in the same way now and every time I see Philip Glenister on the TV I won't think of him saying 'Fire up the Quattro' it'll be 'Fill up the Beaker'

Genius!

TanteRose · 08/10/2013 12:36

Haven't laughed so much in ages Grin