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Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
YoniTime · 09/10/2013 10:56

I still can't get over that is says YOUR penis.

radiohelen · 09/10/2013 10:44

It's not a post sex dunk but I have a friend who was obsessed with having a boy baby. She used to make her husband dip his knob in a glass of water with bicarb in it morning and night before and after work while they were ttc! It was referred to as 'knob dip'.
They had a special beaker which they have since destroyed! It did not have a slogan on it.

For the record... no we don't. I am moderately paranoid that at some point a policeman with a black light will scan my sheets and think what a slovenly housekeeper so there is a bit of clean up.

ZeEm · 09/10/2013 10:37

I don't have a dedicated cup. Sometimes i'll just spit into an empty crisp packet and lower myself into it carefully.

Soozart · 09/10/2013 10:14

Only dunking in our bedroom is biscuits in tea on Sundays
Penis dunking goes on in the bathroom. Sports bottle for drinking water is a good move!

DrSeuss · 09/10/2013 10:13

Beaker? Surely a hi ball glass would be better?!

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/10/2013 10:08

And still no word regarding the muff sieve??

janeypoos · 09/10/2013 10:08

This thread is hilarious! I've cried my eye make-up off twice so far and I'm now running 15 minutes late for my appointment with my shrink. I may just cancel it :D

flamingtoaster · 09/10/2013 10:05

Should we all be looking for shopping lists with "penis beaker" on it now? (Maybe we should all leave fictitious lists with "penis beaker" in the middle of it in supermarkets this week and start a new trend...).

dingit · 09/10/2013 09:54

This thread is very enlightening! I did wonder why DH swapped his short bedside tumbler for a long glass. He denies it, and just said 'nah, just wipe your cock with your sock'

GreenEggsAndNichts · 09/10/2013 09:50

Grin jezza!

jennie82 · 09/10/2013 09:45

we both just go separately to the toilet after and use baby wipes and shower in the morning, never ever heard of anything like a penis beaker but it makes for fun and entertaining reading, this is hilarious!

jennie82 · 09/10/2013 09:41

this has made me laugh, how funny

spiderlight · 09/10/2013 09:26

He needs one of these

pumpkinsweetie · 09/10/2013 09:20

As for dh his pants just go back on to wipe up, ahem, any spillageGrin

pumpkinsweetie · 09/10/2013 09:18

I just use dhs dirty boxer shorts, failing that a speedy trip to the loo does the trick, but a cup, eww what if someone drank it Confused

riverside1989 · 09/10/2013 09:15

reeling at the thought of what's swishing around in the dishwasher, and is it an equal opportunity household - does one take turns in beaker clean-up duties? Most of all thank you for sharing - who knew I would have to consider this topic... ever!

DameFanny · 09/10/2013 08:53

Penis beakers, pillow biting and it's not even Friday...

PenisBeaker · 09/10/2013 05:47

Ta-Da !!

AMAZED this has gone to classics, it's not even that funny! It's just a cockwash!

WednesdayNext · 09/10/2013 00:54

Laughing so much I'm biting my pillow so as not to wake DH.

curiousmax192 · 09/10/2013 00:53

if it helps, we dnt use a condom, so i always have a pack of baby wipes beside bed, so as i can run to bathroom without it all dripping down my leg, and he wipes himself off

LilithSternin · 09/10/2013 00:47

I was supposed to be going to bed...just sat in actual tears of laughter at this one. "Grab your beaker, you've pulled" finished me off Grin

taykiniteasy · 09/10/2013 00:45

@OP...can I make a suggestion for the coming winter months. Why not use a thermos instead to keep the water nice and warm..nothing more certain to wake him up with a jolt than dipping his dick in a beaker full(or half full as discussed earlier) of ice cold water. A thermos will probably be roomier and if you can find a neck which just fits him, he can plug it with his balls (unless he likes to dunk them too but you never mentioned this) while he rather luxuriously swishes his dick around in warm swirling water. A much cleaner dick, and Ill bet a happier one too ..which is all good since youre married to him
Im loathe to leave you having to get up and go to the bathroom while you DH is too lazy to get out of bed and I do think you should have something you can call your own. www.completecareshop.co.uk/disability-elderly-aid-large/8920/happy_pee_.html?gclid=CNGyprG1iLoCFXMbtAodKgkAVA

ZacharyQuack · 09/10/2013 00:42

Is this your DH?

BillyBanter · 09/10/2013 00:30

you may change your name, but only if you change it to penisbeaker.

maesepp · 09/10/2013 00:15

Ha Ha this is great. I this what 50 shades is like.... When he threw me onto the bed he knocked his dunking cup over. When he pulled out he wiped it on the curtain so I sat on his pillow.