Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
Twistandbust · 09/10/2013 12:15

How long before Saracrewe is sitting on the couch opposite Philip and Holie? May be next to Katie Hopkins???

professorcrouchsnife · 09/10/2013 12:12

At the risk of being labelled rude and crass (even in this thread!!), then whatever happened to the good old 'wank sock'? If you want something to wipe up jizz and quam then it's as good as anything else...and there's always a plentiful supply around the bedroom floor!

They have the added bonus of turning into 'crusty footballs' overnight, just in time for a morning kick-around. Grin

radiohelen · 09/10/2013 12:05

Ooooh look... it's in Metro here

ChallyCreaks · 09/10/2013 12:03

saracrewe you have also made it onto my FB page via The Metro London newspaper. You are well famous innit.

www.facebook.com/MetroUK?hc_location=stream

Ravenista · 09/10/2013 12:02

From now on, instead of saying 'how do you like them apples' or suchlike I will be saying 'so stick that in your penis beaker and swill it'. Is that how arguments are concluded in your house SaraCrewe (living legend)?

SingingSands · 09/10/2013 12:02

Fucking hell, I've nearly burst trying not to laugh on the train! This is brilliant.

dingit · 09/10/2013 11:55

That reminds me of that great rhyme

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And johnnies weren't invented
They wrapped their socks around their cocks,
And fucked away contented.

cinnamontoast · 09/10/2013 11:54

saracrewe (can't bring myself even to type your new name), you might like to know that I was directed to this by Caitlin Moran on Twitter. THAT's how far your fame has spread. Just don't open the door to any tabloid journalists.

poocatcherchampion · 09/10/2013 11:49

my dh lovingly passes me a pair of his used underpants from who knows when from down the side of the bed and usually pops a dirty sock on his penis.

classy here too

dingit · 09/10/2013 11:48

Cillitbang- one dunk and the spunk has gone Smile

Twistandbust · 09/10/2013 11:45

This has seriously brightened my otherwise miserable day - thanks OP you are an actual star for starting this.
Will laugh for weeks at the thought of anyone saying "Get your beaker you've pulled"

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten · 09/10/2013 11:43

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

oldstripy · 09/10/2013 11:41

Trending #penisbeaker now

oldstripy · 09/10/2013 11:40

Someone PLEASE say something funny about Cilitbang :)

oldstripy · 09/10/2013 11:39

-howls- tooth mug violation . Penis beaker , I'm going to start trending this switches to twitter

oldstripy · 09/10/2013 11:36

-howls- tooth mug violation . Penis beaker , I'm going to start trending this switches to twitter

oldstripy · 09/10/2013 11:32

Aah that's funny - this is such an endearing thread

doorkeeper · 09/10/2013 11:27

I've laughed a lot at this thread, and I think the OP is now my favourite mumsnetter. Hats off to you, SaraCrewe.

smsm · 09/10/2013 11:24

this is quite weird - why bother? Don't use MN much, now I know why! ;-)

gdpreston · 09/10/2013 11:20

Next to my four post I have a velvet box full of various silks which I use to clean Rupert.

laura123wootten · 09/10/2013 11:15

omg i was having a shit day until
i read this !! thanks for the entertainment !! one little tip .. some things are better left unsaid??

animaniac · 09/10/2013 11:15

this thread is now being discussed on Twitter by quite a few 'celebs'.....amazing

TheyCallMeMrPig · 09/10/2013 11:14

How hard is it makes Chandleresque drum noise to pop to the bathroom for a bit of loo roll for him and a quick wipe for you? A designated area? You must be at it like bunnies you lucky filthy cow

xXjunebugXx · 09/10/2013 10:59

I don't think I have heard anything so absurd, I mean this is piss funny but ridiculous!
Penis beaker!!! Jesus wept!