Do you dunk your penis?

Do you prepare and take the beaker in with you every time you have sex? What about a spontaneous quickie? We clean up at some point but it's never so urgent that we need a specific penis bath.

My good lady would clean that bad boy up herself with her cake-hole. Then it'd be time for a tic-tac (for her) and a kip

(This might be a slight exaggeration... We don't have any tic-tacs)

Would never have thought of that. Dh uses what ever is close at hand to clean up.

this has been my morning entertainment reading this. it's already working it's way round Facebook and Twitter. i have a green beaker cup at home that my son uses. i'll never be able to watch him drink from that again without laughing hysterically!!

I also want to know whether this knob washing was a skill he came with or whether you had a hand in the training so to speak. I've heard of small boys being taught to aim for the loo by using ping pong balls as targets. What target did you have floating in the cock cup?

We just flop back and let the dogs clean up, it's even easier now we have two.

Oh my, tears are running down my face! I can never look at a Dairylea Dunkem again without being reminded of this thread. classic!

sarahcrewe please if you are ever in front of phil and hollie i want to know i want to watch you have really brightened up my wednesday morning, its viral, its everywhere, nobody will be able to look a green cup in the face again.

wonder if anybody dares go to a supermarket and put a load of green cups in their basket ?

I started reading this this morning and have just revisited, my 2 1/2 yo wants to know what's so funny, as does my 11 week old who keeps beaming back at me. I found the link on Horse and Hound Online, it will be everywhere soon!

Seeing this on twitter has dragged me out of retirement.

I'm off to write a new kids book for the That's not....series

'That's not my penis beaker, it is too deep'

allchat, Zoflora?!

"I've topped up your cock mug, it's your lucky night"

This is amazing. Best thread ever. We have designated "sex drawers" in our bedside unit, including wipes and tissues etc for cleaning up afterwards. Quite often just stick to the post coital glow instead. No beakers here! Love the idea though.

I have to ask: how often do you change the water?? Lmao

Not cillitbang - "clit-bang".

That's what I expect happens if you put cillitbang in your penis beaker. Will explode your clitoris right off, and not in a good way.

This is the most hilarious conversation I have ever read.

Do you dunk your penis??? Who in earth would think to do that, it's gross. Go to the bathroom like normal people lol

This is going to go viral in Facebook, it's how I found it.

Now I know where all the odd socks have gone, glued to the underside of the bed when he has used them as spunk wipes

Has anybody contacted NotOnTheHighStreet with this idea as a Christmas Gift must have?

And secondly is filling up this beaker considered foreplay?

spies fresh water in glass in for a good time tonight?

This thread is both terrifying and marvelous at the same time.

Mumsnet's Barmy Army.

There's a #penisbeakershops hashtag on twitter

Having a 'thank god I'm not the op' moment. Hasn't she already said that they were outed by a friend over the penis beaker? Now this thread is all over Twitter, facebook and the Metro! There is no way that someone who knows the op is not going to see this!

cheered me up on a grey day. You lot are barmy!

(towel/babywipes/sex-wee/dunk in sink)

SarahCrewe - this is the funniest thread I've ever read on MN. AND I read it all. Will you be my friend? People need friends like you to make us feel a bit less mad.

As your friend, I feel I should be honest and have a serious talk with you. You clearly need to see a doctor about your OCD around cleanliness. And take DH along with you.

Also, when the journos and tv crews come a knocking, and they will, make sure you get a good publicist and manager - rake in the dosh while this topic's hot.

And lastly, I was crying with laughter - hysterically, and my mum is sitting next to me asking me what I'm laughing at. I have just had the most uncomfortable share ever (I couldn't actually say it out loud to her - I made her read it - she wasn't amused - it was more a look of horror..)

And WHAT IS A MUFF SIEVE - I NEED TO KNOW...

SaraCrewe. Do not fret. You are not alone. My bedside table is home to Zoflora, dishcloth (damp), pint glass (naturally) and douche bag. The only passion killer is that he prefers the water tepid so we have to pre-plan our sexy time a little.

This is the best thread ever! Thank you for the laugh...i just use a towel lol