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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/10/2013 18:42

Box of tissues in a drawer along with the baby oil..... no penis beaker though.

LadyGoodman · 09/10/2013 18:37

Honestly OP does your husband appreciate what mirth u have brought to the world? Bet u never realised u should have patented the penis beaker u could have made your fortune Grin

MadameOvary · 09/10/2013 18:37

Maybe now all these naysayers will stop thinking of MNers as tedious Yummy Mummy Bodenites.
This thread perfectly illustrates what we're really like Grin

Hogwash · 09/10/2013 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helenthemadex · 09/10/2013 18:24

OMG its on the mirror website

helenthemadex · 09/10/2013 18:23

how big is the beaker? I need to know and wtf is a muff sieve???

I am going to ask every prospective man if he is a beaker man, I am hoping to find a jug or bucket man Grin

armadaletim1888 · 09/10/2013 18:15

Whats wrong with dodging the sticky patch til it dries in? or get the febreeze out and start spraying the place after you've sprayed the bed? how complicated can this process get? hokey cokey, simple, in out in out, shake it all about...

PersonalClown · 09/10/2013 18:12

We made it onto Buzzfeed!!

liquidstate · 09/10/2013 18:09

OP nice name change Grin What happens when you go on holiday? do you take it with you or use the (usually very small) glass in the hotel bathroom? How do you manage to get it through customs?

Have you thought about putting an extra bathroom in? That way you can both mop up at the same time.

I usually get DH to come on my boobs, he likes it and its easier to mop up. except when he misses and gets me in the eye

Logicalsong · 09/10/2013 18:01

I am a Man

Our method is to use tissues and/or wet-wipes
We used to have a flip-top bin that we chucked the wet-wipes at.
Lovely OH has recently replaced the flip-top with a wide-mouthed conical thin plywood basket. We're now both a very good shot, not only do you get the satisfaction of the satisfaction but you get extra satisfaction when your spunky goodness scores a basket

WipeItOnTheCurtains · 09/10/2013 17:53

I knew a couple of Sisters who shared the same penis beaker. Disgusting, eh? 2 girls, 1 cup...

ArtisanLentilWeaver · 09/10/2013 17:48

A penis beaker? How wet.

What is wrong with slapping it off a tree a few times. Like everyone else does.

cg1982 · 09/10/2013 17:48

also does it have a name you know max stephen jeffery or do you just call it penis beaker?

cg1982 · 09/10/2013 17:47

this has made my day absulutly hilarious why dont you post a picture of this famous beaker?

TEErickOrTEEreat · 09/10/2013 17:37

This is the best.

FrightRider · 09/10/2013 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWeasley · 09/10/2013 17:37

This is hilarious!! Grin

morethan1 · 09/10/2013 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaloHoney · 09/10/2013 17:34

Makes the phrase "token for the cockwash" have a whole new meaning.

mignonette · 09/10/2013 17:26

Those cheap plastic beakers will tip over the moment a penis even so much as looks at them.

Me, I'd go for a nice wide bottomed Emma Bridgewater Mug or a Cath Kidston.

Plomino · 09/10/2013 17:24

I really shouldn't be reading this on the train !

OP , what about if you have the urge to entertain yourselves 'al fresco ? '. Do you have a travel mug ? Is it a tall thin type or just the average mug size ? With a lid ?

I just have visions of an alternative version of Bill Bryson's toity jar running through my head right now .

JuanPotatoTwo · 09/10/2013 17:18

Well if you're going to double up and use the penis beaker as a denture holder too, better be sure not to use beaker for both purposes at the same time. Your dentures will have pubes stuck in them and a slimy coating, and your (your dh's rather) penis will have tooth marks on it.

gamerchick · 09/10/2013 17:18

I don't think you'll look at that beaker in the same way again OP. ;)

NomDeClavier · 09/10/2013 17:15

Surely it should be filled with this rather than water? It makes it sound almost pleasant, apart from the syringing but I suppose if you're hygienic all inclined....

johnworf · 09/10/2013 17:01

Yeah, I reckon you might get one of these