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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
Playedaway · 09/10/2013 21:40

You don't have a cleaning lady. I can tell.

helenthemadex · 09/10/2013 21:37

"my penis beaker is a bucket" is going to be the new chat up line

SoleSource · 09/10/2013 21:29

What is a penis? Confused

claretandamberforever · 09/10/2013 21:10

I've been trying to get on the site all afternoon to read this!!! 'arf 'arf 'arf

ColouringInQueen · 09/10/2013 21:05

Brilliant thread Grin brightened up my day no end, and even more so when I saw the telegraph coverage!

Go Sara x

weblette · 09/10/2013 21:00

Knowing the MN fondness for Pedlars, would these do as suitably stylish and retro cock dippers?

PigletJohn · 09/10/2013 21:00

bloody beaker people clogging the website to a crawl tonight

just buy some kitchen roll and a bin.

FCEK · 09/10/2013 20:59

DH and I have been killing ourselves laughing over this threat, and he's always telling me to get off MN too...

babsfan · 09/10/2013 20:57

Reminds me of the time I was given a beaker to collect my pee in, along with a funnel to direct said pee into beaker - the size of the funnel suggested that the woman thought I was a bit of a slack Alice! Anyway, still laughing at this :-)

WarriorChick13 · 09/10/2013 20:55

This thread is responsible for me joining net mums Grin

babsfan · 09/10/2013 20:54

I'm dying laughing :-)

DownstairsMixUp · 09/10/2013 20:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

WarriorChick13 · 09/10/2013 20:49

I wonder if your guy is related to an ex boyfriend of mine who bought hand sanitizer and baby wipes to a rock festival and told me if I didnt use them to wipe my hands after I had eaten some doughnuts (I just brushed the sugar off like you do at a rock festival) and Im quoting this now ........ 'Well dont expect me to hold your hands I dont like sticky fingers' . xxx

Shakey1500 · 09/10/2013 20:45

Ummmm..that would be a NO to the sex/knob/willy cup/beaker/vessel by the bedside.

We finish, I do the "post sex waddle" to the bathroom lest cum dribbleth down one's thighs, sort myself out, lob him some loo roll for a customary wipe then deftly manoeuvre myself to avoid any wet patch(es).

Whaddya mean you've never heard of the "post sex waddle"??? Grin

Patersuecia · 09/10/2013 20:37

The beaker seems a remarkably mess-prone and unhygienic system. Baby wipes (and a carefully folded piece of kitchen roll for the initial blobules) are far simpler.

And of course the todger-whisking only works when... well, when gravity is on your side in terms of keeping substances in receptacles, if you see what I mean. If the young lady is taking the high ground, natural seepage is likely to lead to a more distributed splash zone, at which point merely dipping danglies will be rather pointless.

We're parents. The one thing we're guaranteed to always have within arm's reach is baby wipes. If they'll clear up a nether lahar, they'll do the job for your common-or-garden custard cream.

Waferthinmint · 09/10/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoniBottsBumgina · 09/10/2013 20:28

I can't believe this has gone viral!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 09/10/2013 20:26

Has your DP seen this yet btw sara?

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 09/10/2013 20:25

I love how the telegraph use "Sara Crewe" as if it's actually your name Grin

By the way MNHQ, if you could somehow fix it so that normal mners got priority on the server, that would be perfection :)

feathermucker · 09/10/2013 20:21

I was wondering.....

Is there a preference for material....does a ceramic beaker give a more pleasurable cleanse, perhaps a plastic beaker may cause water displacement and be unsuitable....

Other than that, what the actual fuck?! And is either one of you employed within the infection control capacity?!

Also...heeheeheeheehee!!!!!

Bettyohbetty · 09/10/2013 20:20

PB, I salute you! You've brought us a lot of good cheer today AND raised a vital topic - what does one do with all that gunk?

For the record, we don't dunk but we do have a post-match clean-up drawer filled with manky old muzzies, tea towels and the like - although after this DH will possibly be asking for an upgrade...go forth and dunk.

thetreefairy · 09/10/2013 20:09

Dear Sara. I was chatting with my DH about if he thought he should have a penis beaker? and he made a valid point, what if we went away?

So I have to ask you, Do you take the beaker with you when you go on your Holidays?

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 09/10/2013 20:07

Shock the things you read on mumsnet!

giggles like a child Grin

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 09/10/2013 20:07

Shock the things you read on mumsnet!

giggles like a child Grin

TiggyD · 09/10/2013 20:01

Feeling lucky spunk punk?

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