Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
Custardo · 10/10/2013 07:54

intrigued by mrskoala.

dh dunks in an egg cup

ukvillafan · 10/10/2013 07:50

MrsK - navy and aubergine sheets would definitely show signs of 'use'. Have you never SEEN CSI? The stuff gets EVERYWHERE!! ;-)

BlatantRedhead · 10/10/2013 07:48

No penis dunking for us either. I am mightily glad to hear some of our rituals are 'normal' though - I go and have a sex wee and he either waits to use the bathroom after me or cleans up with his tshirt whatever is lying around on the floor

ukvillafan · 10/10/2013 07:45

OK - so I'm a man and I had to register here just to comment on this.

No - no one else does this. Very few men, I suspect, would want to do this. What's wrong with a towel, or a shower or just waiting until you get up? Sex is supposed to be fun, spontaneous and messy.

And anyway - who makes beakers/glasses big enough for the job? :-)

MissKittyO · 10/10/2013 07:41

A friend posted a link to this thread on Facebook and Ive just spent my morning so far crying with laughter. I also nearly spit my coffee out a few times. Brilliant and thanks for the laugh. Im just going to dust my 'sex clean up table' pfft haaa haa.

ABoshe · 10/10/2013 07:32

This gives a whole new meaning to "do you want to come round for a cuppa and a dunk!" Lol

lilylimpet · 10/10/2013 07:32

Sarahcrewe you have become an Internet sensation. This has gone viral. You will surely get a spot on 'This Morning' for your strange clean up behaviour :-D

FetchezLaVache · 10/10/2013 07:31

MrNicky, those T-shirts have given me the seventh fit of uncontrollable giggles of this thread! Brilliant stuff. Can't believe how quickly this has gone viral!

Penis Beaker smiley would naturally mean "I am so confident that sexual shenanigans are in store for me tonight that I am going to fill up the penis beaker".

fortyplus · 10/10/2013 07:29

MrsKoala your dh obviously doesn't produce much seminal fluid when he orgasms - and you're obviously producing less vaginal lubrication than some ladies do. Shame Wink

DonnaGriffo · 10/10/2013 07:26

I too have never heard of this...we clean together much later in the bathroom. After being so intimate, the cleaning up is shared too! A dunking beaker is new to me!

Dontlookbehindyou · 10/10/2013 07:15

Not bun
mrskoala is doing it wrong bun is fine...

Dontlookbehindyou · 10/10/2013 07:14

bun I think you're doing it wrong?

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 10/10/2013 07:06

What Bun said are you and dh fluid less MrsK?!

Bunbaker · 10/10/2013 06:57

"I have never had to 'clean up' after sex. I am not sticky."

Where does it all go then?

NorksAreMessy · 10/10/2013 06:47

Thank you everyone :o

I love Mumsnet

GillyBillyWilly · 10/10/2013 06:22

This is too much Grin

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 10/10/2013 06:14

Those t shirts would be funny in a mn meetup.

mamadetres · 10/10/2013 06:01

We absolutely do clean-up, but we take turns in the loo.

The penis beaker is definitely strange. But you know, every couple has quirky things that are perfectly normal to them. And the comments are flippin' hilarious!

MrsKoala · 10/10/2013 04:33

WOW! this has just been linked on a another thread i'm on and i am boggled at how many people clean up after coitus full stop, let alone have a dedicated sloosh station. I am visualising a man standing with his old chap in a beaker of water and it just seems utterly mad.

I have never had to 'clean up' after sex. I am not sticky. Neither is DH or any (of the quite a lot) of the men i slept with before him. How dirty are you lot? Our sheets show no fluids or signs of sex (and they are navy and aubergine, so i'm sure if they were there they would). Am i doing it completely wrong? Confused

jsd69 · 10/10/2013 04:17

Thank God a friend posted this thread on fb. I'm here to report that I keep baby wipes by the bed, to wipe off after. The beauty of this system is I don't have to constantly change the sheets from slogging fluids all around under the covers all the time, during post coital snuggling. (Yeah, I do it all the time, and by 'it' I mean 'it' and not slogging.)

Patersuecia · 10/10/2013 03:03

SlightlyJaded said: "I am in awe - not just at the Jizz Jug, but at the concept of a whole CLEANING STATION."

When our son arrived, I built a whole changing station, complete with slots for wipes and things, custom-built to fit perfectly on the top of his chest of drawers. So going overboard on things isn't that strange, just geeky. Smile

MrNicky · 10/10/2013 02:52

Absolutely hilarious! Been reading this thread after being told about it by my OH who saw it on facebook! Spent the last few hours reading it. then a bit more time googling to see what else might be out there and found this!! You know somethings gone viral when this kinda stuff happens!: Penis Beaker Tshirts!

SuddenGlory · 10/10/2013 02:32

[laughwee] Ill never be the same after this thread...

DragonflyHeather · 10/10/2013 02:29

OP have you ever considered just getting a box or a pack of baby wipes and keeping it by your bedside...seems easier than a dunking beaker. Save the dunking beaker for your dentures.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/10/2013 02:08

SomeGuy: According to the BBFC what you are is incontinent. Have a nappy.