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Original poster

The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

594 replies

daughterofafarmer · 02/10/2013 11:26

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

OP posts:
tablefor4 · 04/10/2013 16:44

to revert to the original premise of this thread

Discovered yesterday that my very sane, very lovely friend's husband queued for 2 days (and nights) for .... wait for it ......

a nursery school place.

Yes, admissions started at 9am Monday, he queued from Saturday morning. Since he was not alone (there were other crazy parents Shock) the nursery stayed opened and they all slept there too. Beyond bonkers. A nursery school. Shock

Mind you, I also discovered that if I want to enrol at the local swimming pool for lessons, the queue starts at 4am when they open the year's bookings .... Properly bonkers.

PipkinsPal · 04/10/2013 16:13

Nicename being from Wales even I know there is a Chigwell and Chingford but would like to point out it's Chigley that is a made up name as in Trumpton and Camberwick Green (not to be confused with Camberwell) Grin

Trills · 04/10/2013 15:34

The perils of being a precocious reader and working words out for oneself

Yes. This.

nicename · 04/10/2013 15:22

Thank you Chrome. I feel somewhat better now.

chrome100 · 04/10/2013 14:57

Some of these are hilarious.

Although until recently I thought Tina Turner was a man in drag

nicename · 04/10/2013 14:39

So they both exist? Real places? Oops there go my Pearly Credentials. I only lived in the east end for about ten years...

LeGavrOrf · 04/10/2013 14:35

Haha Chigwell does exist. My aunt lives there. Grin

Rhinosaurus · 04/10/2013 14:10

My mum:
"When I was expecting your brother, it was when they were giving thalidomide for morning sickness. He's lucky I didn't need it else he'd be running around with no arms and no legs now" Confused

NotCitrus · 04/10/2013 14:05

Er nicename Chigwell does exist! It's a few miles from Chingford, on the Central line.

BalloonSlayer · 04/10/2013 13:59

nicename neither Chigwell nor Chingford are "made up". Grin

iridium · 04/10/2013 13:45

I lived in the US for a year. How did I never notice this one handed eating business?

whilewildeisonmine · 04/10/2013 12:45

DB, ex boyfriend and me discussing celebrities we didn't know we're gay- DB shocked to find out Freddie Mercury was (he leads a very sheltered life...)

DM who had been sat there quietly reading enters the conversation at this point -
'Freddie Mercury? Yes he even DIED of gayness'

Earthworms · 04/10/2013 12:16

I worked as a waitress in a posh hotel in the UK that catered for a lot of US visitors doing the grand tour.

A room full of people eating using only one hand, with the other arm down by their side did look very much like a strange contagious paralysis had afflicted the room.

slug · 04/10/2013 11:53

Nicname, I got that one too.

"You're from Noo Zeealand? Gosh, you speak really good English"

Yeah, like a native mate Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/10/2013 11:27

"My sister thinks that Scotland is south of Manchester, and will not be persuaded otherwise. By anyone or anything." Not even by an actual map, HairyPotter?? That is real dedication on her part!!

"A horrified and very audible wail from a certain nameless friend Alison, on a school trip to Romeo and Juliet:

'No! Don't do it! She's not dead!'

The cast had some difficulty carrying on after that.

This made me laugh out loud, Kitties - and I have a horrible cold at the moment, so I needed cheering up - thank you!

nicename · 04/10/2013 11:02

My sister was complimented on speaking good english in the states when she said that she was from scotland. This was the same trip when someone said 'oh you live on Birmingham? We have a Birmingham too. Was yours named after ours then?' Ditto Cairo. It didn't go down well when she was in the office and asked for a rubber.

NB I am sure some brits say just as dumb things to americans when they visit!

KhunZhoop · 04/10/2013 10:51

"I didn't know they had mountains in Spain!" said by a friend as we were flying over the Pyrenees on our way to Torremolinos.

nicename · 04/10/2013 10:47

Here's one from me. I was hopping off a train and chappy on platform is hesitating so asks 'where's this one going?'. I saoid 'Chigwell'. 'No,' he says, 'its Chingford'

I may have got the two muddled up, but I definately told him the made-up place in East London from Birds of a Feather with an actual place in East London (I may as well have said Atlantis).

nicename · 04/10/2013 10:45

There's all sorts at picadilly circus!

GlitzPig · 04/10/2013 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

guanosoup · 04/10/2013 09:47

In London, I was asked by an American woman for directions to Piccadilly Circus.
I pointed her in the right direction, and then she asked me what sort of anmals thry had, and did they have clowns?
Poor love was quite disapointed to learn its a glorified traffic island.

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 09:07

It put me in the habit of asking other passengers 'This is the London train isn't it?^ Grin

KittiesInsane · 04/10/2013 08:44

A horrified and very audible wail from a certain nameless friend Alison, on a school trip to Romeo and Juliet:

'No! Don't do it! She's not dead!'

The cast had some difficulty carrying on after that.

KittiesInsane · 04/10/2013 08:42

Amber and Bishop, beware the pitfalls of changing trains in Cambridge then: King's Cross one way, King's Lynn the other not that I have ever had to explain that one to a ticket collector, ooh no

HairyPoppins · 04/10/2013 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.