The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

That is absolutely brilliant, Queazy

This is a hilarious thread A friend was trying to resolve an issue at work where they had run out of paper. She suggested they photocopy a piece to make loads more!!!! Not sure if she honestly thought there was a little paper making machine in the photocopier...

My sister (aged 16) was out shopping me and my mum when we spotted a book about oragami. There were a few versions of the book, things like "safari oragami", "Christmas oragami" and "underwater oragami". My sister was incredibly perplexed at the underwater oragami book but after an initial "that's a bit weird" comment she let it drop. About two hours later, she just couldn't hold it in any longer and said "see that underwater oragami book? How would that even work? All the paper would fall apart!" She'd been having visions of trying to do oragami in the bath and just couldn't work it out

DH had somehow become convinced that the Yorkshire Ripper was in fact 'Jack The' after he moved out of London. He called bs on a documentary we were watching because 'He's been in prison for years, it was all over the news' 'What? Who has?' 'The Ripper. He's in prison' '...Jack the Ripper is in prison?' 'Yeah, got caught on a traffic stop.' 'Do you mean the Yorkshire Ripper?' 'Yes, the Ripper' 'Nothing about this Northern dress strikes you as a bit...old fashioned? Yorkshire looking maybe a bit Londony? Whitechapel?' 'Don't be silly it was after he moved obviously and it was the 70's everyone wore hats'

family were talking about old sayings, someone said 'a black mans pinch'

Sil said, oh iv never had one of those, I don't have much to do with black people

god knows what she thought one was

How much is it in Poundland... True story

OK got another:

Friends were discussing the making of Knight's Tale, how some of the lances in the film production were made from spaghetti. Conversation flows and move on until, about two topics later, one of the friends said "Oh! you mean uncooked spaghetti!"

Yes, dear readers, that person was me.

Blackberrybakewell

Husband's friend thought the sun and the moon were the same thing.

Yes!

I went to university with a girl who thought the same thing. When we questioned her about it, it came out that she thought the sky just got dark at night because that was the way it worked.

Same girl also soaked her contact lenses in Dettol and was off for a semester with corneal burns.

A work colleague talking about dry white wine:

"Why do they call it dry wine? It's not dry is it? It's runny. If I spilt this, it would all be wet! How can runny drink be dry?"

Yes, she was being serious.

dear friend, bless her, debating whether it was worth going out and buying chocolate late at night

'So... how late does the 24 hr garage stay open?'

about King being too American.

I only learned how to pronounce the word "paradigm" properly about a month ago. I'd always heard it in my head as "para-dij-um".

Luckily I've never said it aloud due to not having a clue what it means. My ignorance has some uses

I'm loving this thread. Those poor boneless chickens, flopping about the place unable to peck :(

I had a bloke come to look at my flat when I sold it who remarked on the contents of my bookshelf - "Oh I see you like Stephen King. I'm not keen on him. I find his books a bit American for my taste".

Yes well an American writer writing stories about Americans, set in America will tend to have a slightly American feel

I remember being horribly embarrassed aged about five for thinking that the Justice League of America was pronounced "Lea-gue"

Not sure if this is a cheat, because she never was a friend. During the time of a major upheaval in government, she said "well, [a.n. event] is definitely going to happen [btw, it never did]. Because Nostradamus said so"

I just looked at her and all I could think was "I can't fucking believe you can vote and I can't" (was a guest in the country at the time).

Bugger. It wasn't exciting enough for a duplicate post

About 'biopic'. I think it's a compound word, from Biographical Picture (ie film). So you pronounce each part as they would be in the original words.

I used to think epitome was pronounced eppy-tome though so I'm not entirely trustworthy.

About 'biopic'. I think it's a compound word, from Biographical Picture (ie film). So you pronounce each part as they would be in the original words.

I used to think epitome was pronounced eppy-tome though so I'm not entirely trustworthy.

My sister picks me up from the airport on a return trip home from Uk to NZ.

I'm dazzled by the light - if's different down there, more intense, brighter. I comment on it to my sister.

"Light!" she says. "Light! It's the sun BeCool, the sun, the same sun as in UK!" she laughs.

I love her madly but it is so weird she doesn't get the difference between light and sunshine.

Ok here's mine....

Staying in California with my lovely friend....we stayed at her family home that came with its own housekeeper. Who was a bit nuts. And had a bit of a drink problem. I met her on our last day, my friend spoke to her for ages then introduced me...' Oh this is my friend Luckiest, she's from England.' Odd housekeeper lady fixed me with a steely (drunken?) stare and said 'Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I've been jabbering on for ages and you haven't understood a word!!'. Erm, no. Am english. From England. Y'know....

DHs uncle told him to buy sun cream when he arrived in another country as they have a 'different kind of sun'.

I honestly used to think that Yves St Laurent was pronounced Yives Saint Lorent. Classy me.

I always thought it was bollocks.

Umami proving my point.

breatheslowly just this very week I learned that County Durham is not in Ireland

My excuse is that I'm Canadian

conveniently ignoring the fact that I have lived here for over ten years

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_map

Yes, the tongue map was taught for years in school so it's still a very common misconception (my excuse anyway). But it is essentially total rubbish!

It had this diagram in it blog.golbsalt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tongue.jpg

It isn't true about different areas of the tongue having different taste buds? I always thought tgat was true too, I remember having a "How the body works" book as a child that had it in it.

I thought that County Durham was in Northern Ireland until my mid-twenties. It has some logic as the other counties in England aren't called "county X" but the ones in Northern Ireland are.