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Original poster

The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

594 replies

daughterofafarmer · 02/10/2013 11:26

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

OP posts:
MintyDiamonds · 03/10/2013 12:14

My best friend is in college and they were talking about breast feeding and her (male) tutor said that you shouldn't breast feed as it can cause breast cancer what with the baby knocking the boobs about Hmm

WhatchaMaCalllit · 03/10/2013 12:13

When I was about 12 or 13

The whole family sitting down to play Trivial Pursuit and this question came up -
"In what game are your balls green and yellow and your opponents balls blue and red?"
Me - Boxing!

(The actual answer I believe was croquet Blush)

Dobbiesmum · 03/10/2013 12:05

LaQueen I know a couple of people who didn't know that Jesus would have been Jewish, even more worryingly I know of a local Pastor (evangelical church) who tells his congregation that he definitely wasn't! My old neighbour went to his church and refused to believe me when I told her...

CatThiefKeith · 03/10/2013 12:04

Dsis and I watchinng a documentary about adult conjoined twins:

Dsis " I'm glad we're not conjoined twins - what would happen about work?""
Me "We'd have to have the same job, obviously"
Dsis "But you work in a nightclub, and I'm only 17. Can't see you being happy to just work in New Look on Saturdays - you'd be well skint" Confused

LaQueenForADay · 03/10/2013 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaQueenForADay · 03/10/2013 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SterlingCooperDraperPryce · 03/10/2013 11:52

have only read op but we only started trying for children once we knew we could afford for me to go parttime and could afford childcare. is that weird? I thought it was sensible!

Dobbiesmum · 03/10/2013 11:50

Me to a friend when I first bought sanpro with wings "not buying those again, they're crap and it really hurts when you take the towel off"
I had been putting the damn things on upside down and stuck the wings to what turned out to be a very sensitive (and rash prone) area...
Blush

TeacakeEater · 03/10/2013 11:46

I know people who insist the dinosaur fossils were planted, by a creator, as a test of faith.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 03/10/2013 11:44

Matildaandthematches A friend, while at university studying history, asked us 'who was on the throne in the Victorian era'.
That would be the late great King Victor right? (only messing) Wink

GhostsInSnow · 03/10/2013 11:39

I can't believe how many of you didn't get Jumbo Jet! Grin

Blatherskite my friend is a high school science teacher, you wouldn't believe how many of her pupils refuse to acknowledge the existence of Dinosaurs.

Blatherskite · 03/10/2013 11:28

A friend once told me that she didn't believe in dinosaurs Confused

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2013 11:27

Jumbo Jet, Pistachio. Don't worry - I had to wrack my brains to work it out too!

ScarerAndFuck · 03/10/2013 11:11

I've read the word Buffalo so often it is started to look made up now Grin

stinkingbishop · 03/10/2013 11:11

Jumbo jet Smile

FruOla · 03/10/2013 11:10

Jumbo jet!

PistachioTruffle · 03/10/2013 11:06

Can someone explain the elephant plane catchphrase thing to me please? I'm puzzled!

mignonette · 03/10/2013 11:04

Cat I know a MW who proudly claims she uses the mini size because she has a tiny vagina. Well meaning but thick, she is.

neolara · 03/10/2013 11:03

Me - "Did you apply for that promotion you mentioned before?"
Her - "No. I decided not to because Jonny has his entrance exams for (very posh and exclusive) school in 2 years time. I have to help him with his work, because he'll be competing against boys whose mother don't work" i.e. mothers who don't work will be spending every second tutoring their kids.
Me - in my head to myself - "You are actually stark staring bonkers and I have to stop this conversation now or you will realise this is what I think of you."

CatThiefKeith · 03/10/2013 10:59

Bil thought tampon sizes were fanjo size related.... dsis was furious as he'd always bought her super plus! Grin

ThinkIveLostIt · 03/10/2013 10:52

me very smart friend:

"do they keep the sheep inside once they make the rugs"
me: "huh?"
her: "well they'll be cold once they've been skinned "

another gem from her to her DP:
"thats a lot of caravens over there"
him: "yeah its for storage"
her: "do they not have cupboards?"

scary thing is she's a teacher

WaftyCrank · 03/10/2013 10:42

'What kind of animal is Piglet?'

Asked by me someone else.

NoMoreMadCatLady · 03/10/2013 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KBwan · 03/10/2013 10:24

A very clever friend of mine was keen to join in a discussion about why people often seem to sing with an English accent, regardless of where they're from (while watching Eurovision) -

"I imagine they all sing with an English accent because singing was invented in England."

Grin