My lovely friend, who seems to process things she hears in a different way to the rest of us:
"KFC breed boneless chickens now, so they don't have to pay people to remove the bones later."
"Planes can't turn."
"I always get Hannukkah and Holocaust confused. It's not my fault, I'm not Jewish!"
Dread to think of her wishing a poor Jewish person a happy Holocaust.
Another friend meeting DS just after he was born:
Friend: "Why can't he walk?"
Me: 
Friend: "Why wouldn't you let him walk? I thought if you dropped babies on the floor when they're born they're supposed to know how to walk."
Me: That's water, and swimming...
Same friend 10 minutes later gestures around the lounge, "well of course all this will have to go soon, you can't baby proof everything in here."
I'll just throw all of our furniture away then and spend my evenings in an empty room like all the other parents.
And my Dsis when she was younger...
When she found out Jeremy Beadle had died: "Pneumonia... isn't that when you wet yourself and you don't change your knickers?"
"I'd say that's about three thirds right, but one of them is wrong."
