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Original poster

I think my neighbours have stolen my towel

131 replies

DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 21:05

Things have been going missing from our washing line for a while. I think. There are gaps on the washing line sometimes when I go to bring my washing in but I can never remember what I've hung up so I just assume that I've just left a gap by accident.

DP has just gone to bring in our washing which consisted of a whole load of baby clothes and one towel. That's all. It was DP's favourite towel, a great big brown affair (sad, I know). It was definitely hung up but has now mysteriously disappeared from the line.

The line is shared by 4 flats (us included). I'm pretty sure it was one of our neighbours as it's an enclosed garden with no access from outside and a security door, but how the hell do I go about getting it back?!

OP posts:
Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:47

A spider once fell out of a sock he had been using, squished to death by DP's cock. He's never used one since. He literally fucked a spider to death.

OP posts:
MagzFarqharson · 14/09/2013 22:46

jizz rag? what's wrong with socks anymore?

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:45

Might just be us but we don't seem to make that much mess! We've never required a towel before...!

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Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:44

DP did have a jizz rag before we got together.

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DameDeepRedBetty · 14/09/2013 22:44

MrsVestibule one washes them as often is necessary I imagine

Baby wipes just tend to spread it about I find, something a bit more absorbent is the way ahead.

MagzFarqharson · 14/09/2013 22:43

Oooo MsVes sperm flakes? yum

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:39

Point taken MsVestibule Grin

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Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:37

It's sitting comfortably on the heater after being left out in the cold for so long. Understandably shaken but is recovering. Thank you for the concern.

On a side note, I used to sook glitter gel pens when I was in primary school because they made my mouth sparkly Grin

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MsVestibule · 14/09/2013 22:36

Thanks, Dame. That makes sense. I wonder how often one washes them? I suppose it just dries and flakes off so the dried sperm flakes would be vacuumed up in the usual way.

And Daley, how can a conversation about a washing machine ever become boring Shock?

K8Middleton · 14/09/2013 22:34

Abstinence. Abstinence works better for avoiding sticky sheets.

Sex towel?!

ZingWantsCake · 14/09/2013 22:33

near enough, dark purple! thick crayola one, she bit off the entire tip....

anyway, how's towel feeling? in shock?

you should wrap it up in a blanket and give it a nice Brew! Grin

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:32

As long as it was a blue one. Those taste the best.

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ZingWantsCake · 14/09/2013 22:31

oh how wonderful! (I should have read thread all the way, but DD started eating a felt tip pen so had to go...)

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:30

Oh GOD. That's bogging. Baby wipes surely work better?!

OP posts:
DameDeepRedBetty · 14/09/2013 22:29

The Spermy Sex Towel was the Big Giggle when I first started hanging out here.

It's the towel kept handy by/under/in a drawer close to the bed for mopping up purposes when a couple are not using condoms for contraception.

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:27

We got it back Zing but I think he was starting to notify his family.

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Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:26

Also, no, they weren't washed at 40 degrees. My machine is older than me and doesn't have a temperature setting - it automatically washes most things at 60 (depending on the option you pick). This has become an incredibly boring conversation about my washing machine.

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ZingWantsCake · 14/09/2013 22:26

give my heartfelt condolences to your husband at this difficult and upsetting time.

I'm here to hand hold.

is there going to be a memorial service to remember Great Brown Big Affair ?(such a beautiful name Sad)

MagzFarqharson · 14/09/2013 22:25

oh sorry pudsey, I read it as your neighbour's cat being gifted!

In that case I'd just take it round and explain. Would they not see the funny side?

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:25

Are you serious?! Washing clothes to make them clean doesn't matter because of what they've touched?! Balls to that!

An intervention may be needed to part DP from this towel, it really is horrendous.

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RoseFlowerFairy · 14/09/2013 22:23

The towel would dry bollocks and an arse, and it was mixed up with baby clothes, ewwww! Please tell me they were not washed at 40 degrees OP.

K8Middleton · 14/09/2013 22:23

A brown towel? A brown towel? Eugh. They are an abomination. I expect some kind neighbour has probably staged an intervention but skipped the bit where they have the confrontation. Sensible. You can't reason with someone who thinks brown is an acceptable colour for a towel.

pudseypie · 14/09/2013 22:21

Magz my neighbour is quite elderly and was very worried about it. Nearly offered to sneak the washing back myself but don't want to get caught either.

MsVestibule · 14/09/2013 22:18

Cross posts. Will watch with interest while more woman-of-the-worldish MNers explain it to us.

Original poster
DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 22:18

I have no idea what a sex towel is MsVestibule!

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