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Original poster

Well. That went well, didnt it.......

494 replies

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 07:56

So I am looking after my friends 3 year old for the weekend.
I'd just like to point out, before I post the wonderful things that have happened since yesterday, that I do actually have children.
3 in fact.

I point that out because after reading this, you might be forgiven for thinking I have no clue about children what so ever Grin

So...she arrives at 5pm. Lovely, lovely girl. Lovely mum who for some reason thinks I am trustworthy, drops her off without a fuss.

Oh dear god.

All is well for a while. We eat dinner, she eats it all up. And dessert. I am cleaning the kitchen, I turn around and she is eating the dogs food out of his bowl.
And then told me the doggies dinner is very tasty Grin

We are watching tv later on and I ask my ds1 to keep an eye on her while I make a cup of tea.
I come back, she is in the dogs bed.

She wants to play hide and seek. So she hides.
Can I find her? No.
Can the DCs find her? No.

Im about to call the fucking police because clearly she has disappeared when she pops out from a bush in the garden covered head to foot in mud.

We give her a bath, got her pjs on. I go to make her a hot chocolate. I turn round and find her sitting in a cupboard. Of course, I notice she is in there the very second I shut the cupboard door. On her head.

I put her to bed on the little bed in my room.

I go to bed as well because I know if I am not sitting there looking at her, something will happen.

I wake up, an hour ago. She is asleep in the dogs bed.

She just said to me "I had so much fun auntie tantrums. I are doggies dinner, you lost me, I got very dirty and sleeped in the doggy bed. And you shut me in the cupboard"
She found it all hysterically funny.

She's going to go home and tell her mum all of that isn't she??
Is there any way at all I can put a positive spin on this??

I very doubt my friend is ever going to talk to me again, let alone trust me with her child.

OP posts:
Luckytwo · 14/09/2013 16:46

Brilliant thread. Loving every minute of it Smile

Tell me, Tantrums - have you got the green ink off her face or is it in fact indelible ?

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 16:39

Well.

I now have 2 dogs and a 3 year old caked in mud.
I have never seen so much mud.

Dd is hosing down the dogs Grin
Friends dd is waiting for a bath. You can barely see her face for the mud.

Thankfully, she said she had a very lovely day and now she is tired so I think Cbeebies, dinner and bed.

I spoke to my friend half an hour ago.
I told her that her daughter was sleeping in the dogs bed.
She found it very funny, thank god Grin

I am now working on the theory that as long as she is safe, warm and fed, she can sleep wherever she wants.

I am also ready to go to bed. How is if only 4:40?
It's feels like 11pm.

OP posts:
dramajustfollowsme · 14/09/2013 16:37

Hahaha! GrinGrinGrin
This has made me feel better. It isn't just my dd who is like this!
And I want another one. Must be mental!
What is she up to now?!?

fryingpantoface · 14/09/2013 16:35

ha ha ha

i'm having a very dull day and this has made things so much better!

Longtallsally · 14/09/2013 15:32

Grin Grin Grin

When you get back from the walk, pop her in the bath, with lots of small pots and dishes, to get 20 minutes to have a cup of tea and to keep her awake until DVD time.

(Are you very sure that your friend is not a MNetter and following this thread step by step??)

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 14/09/2013 15:17

This is hilarious

ExasperatedSigh · 14/09/2013 15:06

Best thread ever Grin even though it is a glimpse into my own future. The only difference between this girl and my 2yo DD is that mine can't articulate her madness...yet.

MrsCakesPremonition · 14/09/2013 14:51

You do realise that she won't tell her mum anything about what she has been doing. When her mum asks her she will either say "Nothing", "Can't remember", or "Don't know".

Then in three weeks time she will randomly tell her mum that you shut her in the cupboard.

Then there will an AIBU thread from the mum asking if she should have word with you about mistreating her child, or if she should leave it as it is several weeks ago.

You will be branded forever...

greenhill · 14/09/2013 14:51

When your friend's DD goes to sleep it will be sudden and completely unexpected, if you are lucky it will be halfway through answering a question, otherwise it will be facedown in the dog's bowl Grin

My 3 yo pretended to be a dog in Wilkinsons this week, he was crawling through the shop on his hands and knees with a rubber bone in his mouth, barking at people. I carried on shopping as if it were perfectly normal.

KnockMeDown · 14/09/2013 14:47

This is definitely the best thread for ages - this girl sounds a real treasure!

When her parents come to pick her up tomorrow, and ask what you did all weekend, just give them a print-out of the thread, and say "there, read that, I'm FAR too exhausted to tell you....." Grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 14/09/2013 14:46

I have just PMSL through this whole thread. What next?

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 14:45

Right we are off home to put on wellies and rain jackets and walk the dogs.
And then I am staying at home. Surely she will be too tired to paint herself or cut the cats whiskers or put hair bobbles on the dogs tail after all this??

OP posts:
IsotopeMe · 14/09/2013 14:42

Brilliant thread!

And btw, I think the mums response to the soft play text means she may know exactly what her dd is like! ;)

ClaraOswald · 14/09/2013 14:42

I have laughed the while way through this. In answer to your question, pre school children are energy leeches. Close proximity to those over ten years old will result in supercharged tiny person and totally knackered older person. That's my b theory, anyway.

GibberTheMonkey · 14/09/2013 14:39

I think you must tantrum. Rose tinted backward looking glasses.

I was a four under six parent such as Chub mentioned but my youngest is 4 now and though my brain tells me it was awful (actually worst when I had 1or 2 because of ds1) for some reason I don't think it was that bad.

frostyfingers · 14/09/2013 14:38

I'm tired just reading about it - you are a saint and a star and deserve a medal (and a large bottle of something strong and reviving....). Good luck for the rest of the w/end.

GlaikitFizzog · 14/09/2013 14:32

Ds is 2.5 and has at least a 2 hour sleep every afternoon. He then goes to bed 7.30 and sleeps til 6. Afternoon nap doesn't always mean no sleep at night.

Jbck · 14/09/2013 14:19

I'm sitting MNetting and missing DD2 who's 5 and spending the afternoon at her friends. You have just reminded me why I should enjoy the peace and quiet whilst I can Smile

Chubfuddler · 14/09/2013 14:11

I'm so glad you think little children are exhausting. In always like this Hmm at the number of MNers with four under six and things like that.

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 14:10

Do you actually forget how tiring this is, as your DCs get older?
Because I am shattered. Honestly, I am so tired.

I must have blocked this stage out of my mind

My friend texted to see how we were doing. I texted back we were in soft play.
Her response was..
? Are you mad??

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 14/09/2013 14:10

YY to doggy wellie walk after lunch. She will be asleep by 6.30pm. Bliss.

Chubfuddler · 14/09/2013 14:09

Dd cannot be allowed to sleep after 1pm. It's a disaster. If she hasn't had a nap by then she doesn't get one.

You need a cold wet flannel.

Original poster
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 14:07

ribena it was supposed to be indoor hide and seek yesterday. I am never doing it again, I thought she had run away. I was 10 seconds from calling the police Grin

Anyway, she doesn't want McDonalds. She wants to eat here at soft play.
So, fine. It means I don't have to move just yet.

Why is the food in these places so expensive??

She just asked what we are doing next.

Going home, I said. And what will we do then??

I suggested something like drawing or coloring or play doh

Nope. She wants to take the doggies to the park and play with them.

Dear god, where is she getting all this energy from?

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 14/09/2013 14:04

Nooooo don't let her sleep! Seriously, DS is only 21mo and if I let him sleep after 1pm that's IT - two hours standing in the dark over the cot, desperate for a piss, intoning "Bed time now" and occasionally swearing loudly

SoleSource · 14/09/2013 14:01

Are you available to look after DS next Saturday?