Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

I'm quite accident prone..so have a few...but my latest was on a crowded busy UK beach this summer ...
Jumped onto some rocks to look in the rock pools ...shoes full of sand so slipped, tried again to one side couldn't get a grip, tried again no grip, tried again no grip - knew if I fell onto the jagged rocks I would really hurt myself ...so flung myself sideways to land on my side on sand...winded, lay on ground for a few seconds...got up to see several people had run to help me and everyone else was staring ...
DP? As soon as he realised I was ok (my arm and leg one one side were a bit sore, nice bruise on my wrist where it had hit a stone)-was killing himself laughing said it was a pity he didn't get it on camera ...couldn't decide more if it looked like I was doing a funky dance ...or trying to save a goal ....

I had to go to work looking like I had had a bad collagen lip job, thanks to DS2 standing up at the exact moment I bent down to kiss him goodbye on the top of his head. You could have stuck me to a window.

haha! so funny!

About a month ago I half woke up in the middle of the night. Half asleep I saw some long black legs on the pillow next to me. DP woke up to me yelling "spider invasion" and throwing myself head first off the end of the bed. I landed upside down on my head and my body sort of thudded after. Had a thumping headache for days. DP sniggered for days.

I got kicked in the groin by my 7 month old

Colt. FML.

That reminds me Feminazi, we had had a really bad winter last year and there was lots of black ice. I was getting a lift to work 1 morning and as I stepped off the kerb to get into her car I slipped and half dissapeared under the back of her nissan juke. She couldn't see me but could see my shoe that had flew 3 metres over the road and could hear me crying her name. She had to pull her car forward, skare gingerly over the road for my shoe then try and help me up. We couldn't even get my OH to help as it was half 6 in the morning.

Eventually I'm standing, got to work putting a brave face on it dying inside wanting to cry in the end she sent me home as I was no good to anyone. work for the NHS and on feet all day as I had severely twisted my ankle and knee and had a bump so big on the back of my head it felt like an extra head had grown.

We still laugh about it. All she saw was me dissapear in her rear view mirror

The other night i was opening the door for one of the cats. I reached down to stroke him at the exact moment he jumped for the windowsill next to the door.

4kg of ginger cat hitting you in the nose hurts more than you'd expect

dp came running when he heard me scream but couldn't understand me when i told him what had happened due to the face that I was curled in a ball on the floor clutching my face with both hand

Stood on a plastic garden rake and got it stuck in my foot.
Skid on kitchen floor and nearly stabbed myself in the side, even just the tip of the knife hurt.

Heavily pregnant I was walking down the hill from the car park into work. It was quite a frosty morning and there must have been a patch of black ice. Next thing I know I'm flat on my back, sliding down the hill, as everyone going into work watches. I slid really fast right to the bottom of the hill before gradually slowing to a stop. I had to get onto all fours to get up and got a round of applause. Not one bugger helped me or asked if I was ok, they were too busy laughing. I was fine though. Slight bruising on my bum but my big winter coat and extra pregnancy padding protected me.

And just last week I was Mumsnetting on my iPad when it came loose from its cover and smacked me in the face, cutting my eyebrow quite badly. Blood everywhere and I've still got a black eye.

Have just embarrassed myself at work by snorting coffee up my nose while reading some of these posts!

I've always been very clumsy and accident prone but the most painful incident was when I fell over while having a snowball fight with the DCs and some of their friends. Didn't look too bad at first but the realised I had broken my wrist.

The shame came at the school gate when the DCs gleefully told everyone how it happened.

Age 2 I decided the best place for a toilet training seat was my head. I announced proudly to my Mum that I was a princess and I had a crown and everything!
several litres of veg oil and four neighbours later I was freed from my crown.

Age 35, took the kids to Dinosaur World on holiday. They had one of those wavy slides. It looked fun. Didn't bother with a mat cos those are for kids. The last wave sent me sailing skywards and I landed on my back, breaking my tailbone in the process. No position was comfortable at all. Couldn't stand, couldn't sit for about 6 months. Pure agony.

Age 39, arguing with DD over something ridiculous. Needing to get last word I follow her into her bedroom, unfortunately as she is slamming door in teenage paddy. Foot is in door as she slams. One night in A&E and a broken big toe later I had a DD who for all intents and purposes became my man slave for the next 4 weeks out of guilt

Did once have to take DS to A&E on Boxing Day to have a cactus removed from his foot. He'd managed to kick it with the top of his foot. I'd removed the spines but where they had been caused a reaction. Trying to explain to the nurse why he'd attacked a cactus was something else.

Omg these are so funny. Has brightened up may day considerably to read others misfortune rather than concerntrating on the chaos that is my 2 year old, puppy, kitten and pissed off mummy cat :'/

Boutiquemummy, I am crying with laughter.

My contribution - when very very happy drunk I triped over my own feet into a wall and headbutted it, but instead of just falling over, I sort of slipped down it with my forehead in contact with the wall - it was pebble dash, so had a random bumpy graze all down my forehead for about 2 weeks.

Also have a massive friction burn down my left leg from soft play a month ago from taking dd2 on the long slide - surprisingly painful and looks terrible!

Another nipple story...

When I was working in a do-it-all store in the pet section I was carrying two trays of dog food (those 24 packs of tins) to a shelf. On the way they started to slip a little so I brought up my knee to knock them back up my arms a bit. I'd done this many times before with no problems. This time, however, I'd done it so hard the trays separated, both of my nipples inserted themselves into the gap, and then the trays came together. That hurt an astonishing amount, actually.

Romantic weekend away we were in the tub tiddly when I thought I'd get out the bath n try some sexy dancing one leg over the side slipped cracked fanjo on the bath landed so hard on the floor pooh shot out

Romantic it was not

I was late for the bus one day after work (a new job). As I approached the main road, I saw the bus approaching the roundabout - about 200 yards from the bus stop. I never usually run for a bus as I have this image in my head of missing it and the whole bus laughing at my attempts as it goes on by.

Anyway, I decided to be brave this day and make a run for it across a dual carriageway type road. I was going to make it and was feeling a sense of achievement, when I tripped over the curb and went head first into the bushes.

The bus just drove on by while I was lying on the pavement (half in bushes) crying.

I ended up phoning work as I couldnt get up from the ground so had a lift home in the end. Was off work then for several weeks as I had chipped some bones in both my knees and then ended up with an infection from the cuts.

Another one.

When dh and I were first dating, we finally got around to dtd, which was the end of a long dry spell for him; as he orgasmed he passed out, headbutted me, and gave me a massive black eye.

DP had some hot sauce at my birthday barbecue. He got it all over his hands putting it on his burgers. He did wash his hands but obviously some must have stayed like a weird nasty residue.

Later that evening, we went to bed. He thought he was treating me for said birthday.

It ended with me squatting in the shower almost in tears dowsing my foof with cold water and not-so-politely telling him he was a fool.

I superglued ds's nativity costume to my leg.

I had left it to the last minute, it was the night before the big day, I had spent ages on it and when it was almost finished I tried to hold it up to admire the jewels and realised that it was stuck fast just above my knee.

The dilemma was which do I destroy, leg or costume? Well, I was that pissed off that I yanked it off my leg as there was no way I was going to wreck his costume after all that effort. It was a tiny area, just a few mm of skin, but my God what pain!

I was fixing a hole in some jeans by hand but of course the needle was too thin and flimsy to go through the material.

So I stupidly decided to brace the needle against my thigh.

The fat end punctured my leg and got stuck. The popping sound when it came out was horrific.

No blood or anything, but I do have a weird dimple in my thigh muscle now.

I hammered my own face.

I had borrowed my dad's hammer and was hanging it back up on a nail in his workshop. For some reason the nail was around 6foot up the wall so I had to stretch to hang it. I didn't hang it properly and it fell off and into my face.

Black eye

I've told this before on here but I shall wheel it out again for your enjoyment...

Slightly tipsy blind drunk after a night out (I was 19) climbed out of the taxi slammed the door and didn't realise until he started to pull away that I had jammed my thumb in the door. Had to trot along the street a few metres while banging on the roof with my handbag to alert him.

Poor taxi driver wanted to take me to A & E but I was "Oooh no it's fine really - doesn't even hurt".

Wrapped a tissue round it and went to bed - woke in the morning with a fat thumb and blood everywhere, then I did have to go to A & E