Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

When I was 7 I was in school and for some reason decided it would be a good idea to blow into a pot of pencil shavings. Of course a bit flew up and hit me in the eye. It was agony. On the plus side while I waited for my mum to pick me up to take me to minor injuries I got to sit in with the class next door, who were watching an episode of Geordie Racer that our class hadn't seen yet. And I got given an eyepatch by the doctor, which made me so cool because I was totally like a pirate!

Silver linings and all that.

Also, I broke my foot last year whilst morris dancing. The triage nurse couldn't stop laughing.

First time meeting my what turned out to be future in laws, all went well and as I left I turned to say bye to DH's mum. I overbalanced, tripped over fresh air and landed 3 steps down flat on my back, narrowly missing one of the cats and bruising my entire arse. Future MIL went on to shout 'byeeeeee' in the manner of someone falling into a black hole for months afterwards..
Rolling down a hill in the local park, rolled over a pretty irate wasp and got stung on the thigh.
Walking home from a rare night out with DH and we got erm, slightly over amorous while walking through the park. Dodged into some bushes for a quickie, sorted ourselves out and walked home, all the time I'm thinking that I had scratched myself on the back and would have a look later. Got home and my parents just stared at me, as in our rush into the bushes I had ripped the back of my top open from top to bottom and had a lovely big red cut all the way down my spine which was starting to bleed rather a lot. Had to confess to parents as they thought we had been attacked...

missjimmy Eek! I know how that feels. I once wronged my sister and she Immac'd my arm while I was sunbathing and asleep. It was the pain that woke me up.

While I think about it, there was a chap I used to work with who had an embarrassing injury. I'll repeat the story in his words. If you want to assume there is more to it than meets the eye, you would not be alone in that.

He was in his bathroom naked but felt too warm. His bathroom window is quite high and he can only get to it by standing on the toilet. Because he didn't want to fall off the toilet and injure himself he went downstairs to fetch a broom and put the broomy end against the door and leant his buttock against the phallic end in order to steady himself. Unfortunately he still slipped and a terrible thing ensued for which he needed medical aid.

Years ago I knocked myself out by bumping my head on the pointy corner of an open fridge door and recently broke my nose and gave myself two lovely black eyes by slipping as I got into the bath to shower and landing face first on the side of our cast iron bath - I work with teenagers who saw through all my attempts to cover the black eyes up and were sceptical about how it had happened.

One of my early attempts at immac failed horrendously, when I left if on slightly too long on my upper lip. It was like a red moustache. Thought I'd done a good cover up job on it, went on hot date, got snogging, a few hours later went to the bathroom and my red moustache (covered up) was no longer covered up and instead turned into 2 grazed looking scabs! Oh the shame. I couldn't get me and my tash out of their quick enough.

When I was about 14, I decided to try tampons for the first time. I think they were called Playtex?? Plastic applicators with teeth . Got it in ok, but when I went to take it out, I came over all fuzzy headed. Went out of the loo, fainted on the landing, as I went down, hit my chin on the little metal bit that is on a door that closes it, cut my chin open and came round looking at swirly brown & orange carpet ( it was in the 70's (embarrassed) )with my mum & older brother standing over me. They'd been downstairs & heard the door slam followed by a thud.
Still got the scar....didn't use Playtex again.

I knocked myself out at a soft play centre I tried to stand up fully, and quickly, under one of the supporting poles designed for people under 5ft. I'm 5ft 6!!! I ended up in hospital with concussion. My friend has never let me live it down...

When I was a toddler my mum would tuck me in again before going to bed herself I used wave arms about caught her eyes a couple of time my dad was dragged in by his CO as he was RAF and was quizzed about hitting my mum my mum would remind me all the the time

I leaned across the table and dunked my boob in a bowl of hot soup, I was wearing a flimsy Tshirt which sort of soaked it up and held the soup on my skin. First time I've flung my top off before the end of a meal.

I broken a bone in my hand playing golf Stealth so I definitely believe him!

I have also had chillifanjo, by getting a little frisky with husband after he had just eaten some chillis. Couldn't sit down for a while.

I also burnt my stomach whilst ironing naked. I swooshed the iron a little too dramatically as I was in a rush, and ended up with a horizontal burn on my belly right where the waistband of my trousers had to sit all day. That one fucking hurt.

Details? Nothing too dramtic, but I had dislocated my kneecap, which meant I could not move. I did manage to get the top half coveed before help arrived, so that was a dege of a blessing.

It was a comedy of errors that night, but it all ended simply enough when they dropped the stretcher a little on a spiral staircase and that reloacted the knee. I then leapt off the stretcher and relocated my clothes.

Oinkling!

MrGin has never done that but I bet he can feel your pain

This wasn't embarrassing as such but did feel pretty ridiculous...

As a student we got to observe a few births, if mother to be agreed of course. I tried to help out where i could. After one quite quick and intense labour the midwife asked me to open a glass vial for her (syntocinon?) but instead I managed to jab it practically through my thumb...it bled loads!

There was already lots of blood etc as poor woman just given birth, whilst i the eejit student was distracting her midwife by bleeding more over everything!

Whoever you were- I am sorry!

this will totally out me but dd had best one ever. call from school to collect her mid morning, message said 'emergency dental trip needed'..raced there imagining teeth knocked out or braces broken. arrived to find dd in reception with a pen stuck in her braces. it was hanging there like a tusk. she had been chewing it in class and got it looped round. apparently she wrestled with it for almost a whole lesson before admitting what she had done. it gave her a lisp due to where is was stuck. i took one look at her, heard her lisp 'thorry mum' and fell about laughing

18m old gave me a black eye playing with a toy piano. Looked great in all the Christmas photos.....
DH broke a finger hitting a golf ball. Nurse didn't believe him.

Shudder indeed. I have told a few people but don't think they appreciate the 'intimacy' of the sting!

Got up to the loo at some unholy hour last night. In my half asleep state managed to somehow stick my finger through the loo roll straight into my inner fanjo.....

I have long, and apparently SHARP nails. Woke up pretty sharpish when the searing pain hit, followed by blood.

Have spent today being stingingly reminded of those awful first weeks after childbirth, and it is still bleeding sporadically FFS!

foreverhot all my six older siblings took the piss for years. I was a very accident prone child and still have many scars from childhood at age 47 none from saucepangate, apart from emotional

I recently wound up in A&E (under the advisement of nhs direct) because, whilst trying to remove a stud earring, I managed to pull the front off. The spike was pulled into my ear, along with a solder blob and I couldn't get it back out the front, nor could I pull it all out the back. Tried, hurt, stopped. My ear started swelling. Dp was called back from work to watch small dcs while the triage nurse yanked it out.

This happened weeks ago and the arsehole is still taking joy from the fact I am now a statistic as "injured by an earring".

I like possible potty on head in a and e story best so far!
Mine was on first day of new job. Went to toilet for a wee. Wiped self and it felt like I'd stabbed myself with a shard of glass. Looked in toilet. Wasp. Must have been on toilet roll. It was a sting kind of inside the lips if that's not too much info. Couldn't share with anyone else as was new. Spent much of afternoon on Google which told me that no one appeared to have been stung on the fanjo before. I got some ice from kitchen and put in plastic bag down pants. This meant I rustled but worst of all it leaked all through my jeans. They must have thought I was an odd un.

flummoxedlummox I thought sauspans stuck on head was an urban myth Clearly not!

We've got one of these, the green bit comes off. DD took it out and then pushed the white part down over hear head. Wedged on pretty damn tight!

Only those of us with truly huge norks can understand.... My lovely, but tiny breasted, sister simply could not understand what had happened when I tried to explain!