Terrible wedding behaviour.

Accidentally gatecrashed colleagues wedding... 8 of us went, 4 invited to ceremony, dinner & eve do and 4 invited to church & eve do only. As it was in a tiny village in middle of nowehere that took 4 hours each way to get to and we didnt compare invites we all thought we were going to whole thing. 8 hours between ceremony and eve do btw As it was we still had 3 hours to kill in a village that didnt even have a pub - sat around the village green like teenagers!
look on the B&G face when we all walked in for the lunch/dinner bit was priceless but lucikly a few people had cancelled on the day and they squeezed us in... apologised profusely when we discovered weeks later we hadnt been invited to the whole day.oops.

At my first wedding my ex got so drunk at his stag do that he threw up all night and I had to sit up with him and nurse him because he couldn't even walk. My ex sil was meant to do my hair but couldn't get it 'right' and left it in a mess so she could get her kids ready. Luckily my mum helped me sort it out.
My ex was so hungover he nearly cancelled the wedding because he couldn't even get out of bed and boy do I wish he had lol my mum was still sore about my dad leaving her and laughed all through the vows and got silly drunk at the rubbish reception which I left at 8 in the evening and went to bed because I was so shattered from staying up all night.
My 2nd wedding was looking like it might go the same way with my family refusing to come if my dad was invited so on valentines day my hubby and I ran away and got married at Gretna green and it was magical! Spent all week in bed after the wedding and everyone thought it was amazing what we did and even threw us a reception when we got home which we thought was lovely considering we had just ran away lol

My wedding was a bit of a blur, but nothing ridiculous happened, just a couple of small hiccups.

One was that we had planned to serve sushi for part of the canapes, which were picked up from the restaurant that made them about an hour's drive from the venue at midday by DH's cousin, who didn't question the packaging (no ice packs basically). When they were taken into the hotel's kitchen, the chef tested the temperature and declared he couldn't serve them due to food safety regs. So they were binned - about £200 worth of amazing sashimi.

Then DH lost his speech. He thinks of himself as a real raconteur and bless him he isn't really :) . Well, what happened was that I am very nosy and he had password protected a file on our computer where he had drafted what to say. He had then forgotten the password. Confessed this to me the day before, so I laughed and gave him a list of the things you have to say (etiquette-wise I mean, thanking various people), which he bumbled through. He thanked "the florist" who was the long term girlfriend of one of my staff and I was mortified that he didn't use her name.

Our photographer turned out to be rubbish. Lots of pictures were squint, had people half cut out of them, they didn't do the groups that I had asked for, stuck random people into close family groupings. I still (4 years on) haven't had the album printed, but my mum eventually got the photographers to give us the disk of the full set of digital pictures in highest-resolution so we could tweak them ourselves to try to get them right.

I haven't really been to many weddings. I did a reading at a close friend's wedding at a fancy manor house type venue. She told us a long afterwards that they couldn't leave at the end of the night until they had paid for a tab that a guest had run up behind the bar (guest known for big spending and being outrageously raucous and generous). The bar said that he had put behind the bar his credit card for the tab but somehow managed to just leave the reception without it at the end of the night and they had (as standard) then tried to put it through anyway as a card-holder-not-present but it wouldn't go. I thought this was a massive scam - the venue hadn't actually shown them this card or any other evidence that there was a bar bill. So my friends eventually (it had been more than a year) spoke to the guest to ask him - they hadn't fallen out, just seethed about it for all that time - he said he had indeed run a huge tab, but as far as he was concerned had definitely paid it up without any hint of problem. The venue just fancied getting another £400 out of my friends who were naive enough to let them.

DH's best man was living abroad when we got married. He was planning to fly back 8 days before our wedding for the stag do and also to spend some quality time with DH. His wife unfortunately couldn't come because of work and money.

When he moved out to the country he lived in, his visa had been arranged by the school he and his wife worked at. They also arranged his flight back to the UK for our wedding. At no point did anyone actually bother to tell him one of the visa conditions was that he could not travel in or out of the country without his wife (I think because when they first moved out there she was the only one with a job lined up, he got his job after they moved).

He was at the gate, literally just about to get on the plane when he was told he couldn't leave the country. So yeah, that put a bit of a downer on things. I'd been out for the evening, got home at 11 to find DH on the phone on the verge of tears. I thought "that's a bit strange, there's only one person he'd be calling at this time of night and he's supposed to be on a pla...oh..."

At the reception one of my friends kept asking my FIL (who's a pharmacist) if he had any drugs. She also took all the wine off the top table straight after the meal (I had hardly any of it! cheeky mare) and had a go at my Dad for changing his outfit for the evening reception!

I knew a woman, years ago, who had to be the centre of attention of everything. She usually succeeded, for all the wrong reasons. She was a feisty character had a serious drink problem and given to singing, very badly, at parties etc.

At her brother's wedding, which I attended, there was a professional singer who was a friend of the bride and groom. She was an amazingly talented lady with a great voice.

After the professional singer finished her act, the pissed off her face sister of the groom got up and sang a dreadful, out of tune, wobbly "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". She fluffed half way through and had to start again. The contrast between her and the professional was phenomenal.

I actually forgot about my own story! At my wedding one of my male BF's got a little bit ... drunk.

He had a few to 'stiffen his nerves' (he was doing a reading) before the ceremony, then read really badly. Because he hadn't even glanced at the poem beforehand (he was a trained actor, but still).

Then at the meal there was some incident I still don't understand which ended up with DH's then boss wandering around without his trousers.

He was in charge of videoing the speeches and talked over all of them, giving a running commentary about the 'delivery' of each person. (I find this quite funny now, as he's better than the speeches, but still)

When the very expensive band sang 'his' song he jumped up and pushed the singer out of the way to sing. Then forgot the words. When they tried to sing his other 'his' song the singer was having none of it so they had a wrestling match on the stage.

To top it all off, the venue was non-smoking (unheard of then) and he was asked to leave after being caught smoking three times. As he was being ejected he wailed for me 'Wilsooooooooooooon, I can't believe you're standing by and letting this happen' like he was being dragged off to prison or something. Just as the evening guests were arriving.

Twas a great day.

Very minor ones, A guest at our wedding got very drunk on red wine during the formal sit down meal, leaving her son aged about 4 running around smacking the backsides of all the pretty waitresses, then she fell over and vomited (red wine colour) all over her pale grey suit outside the main entrance in full view of the (sober) evening guests arriving!

Also another guest wore a white dress and hat, the very same that she wore when she got married the previous year, on the photos she looms like a stand in bride.......

None if this matters though and we had a great day.

I attended a wedding, where the reception was held in a hall next to a high security prison. Guests arrived at the reception and were greeted with ITN, Skynews and BBC camera crews, as one of the high security prisoners had taken a bunch of people hostage. Later watch us all on the news, as news teams were keen to know if we felt safe?

I love this thread keep them coming

The one about the 'friend who's a waiter' is a popular urban legend.

Just googled and there are definitely similarities to the story i was told, he could have just been livening up my BBQ i suppose

Ishall At a friend's wedding the BM lost the wedding certificate! He was 25! They had to have a copy made.

I didn't have anything bad at mind luckily. The only thing that pisses me off to this day is when the registrar was handing the signed wedding certificate he said "usually we give this to the best man but I understand there's 2 very special children that will be taking it instead" I was utterly confused and it turns out my mother had decided to have my 2 young cousins be given the wedding certificate so they felt part of the wedding. Why the actual fuck she did that I don't know. It was a small wedding of 50 with just my adult sister as bridesmaid not like I had children and they were left out. Why she felt she had the authority to change something about my wedding ceremony I don't know. It's the actual principle that she did it not the thing itself that pisses me off.

At a friends very lovely wedding, the ceremony was in full swing, vicar saying his bits etc...the church doors open and in walk a couple in about their late 50's/early 60's and start looking around the church, reading the leaflets on the table about halfway down. As in walked past guests and could obviously see our friends, fancy suit and wedding dress on stood in front if the vicar. They stayed about 3-4 minutes looking around the church then left with a loud bang of the church door. Yes ok it's a public venue but you just wouldn't would you?!

I've seen a few brides and guestzilla's and a fight break out but the most cringe worthy was actually a really lovely day, great couple, the only thing was the Bride's father made an impassioned speech with a subtle message which we bored people only got after 20 minutes of waffling. He went on and on about how proud he was of the couple, how they had such passion but willpower and dedication and finally used the words 'both going into this marriage pure' and 'saving themselves for tonight'.

No one was going to correct him that a) both bride and groom had had liaisons with others before, b) had been shagging for months and c) bride was actually 7 weeks pregnant.

We just silently pissed ourselves laughing while bride and groom and their other parents looked confused and mortified.

StepMIL who is Swedish wore a Finish traditional costume to her step daughters wedding, she looked a picture walking through Worsley, we thought she was the entertainment.

Went to a wedding once where the groom wasn't really a big drinker. His mates decided to take him out "just for a few" the night before the wedding (the bride was a massive bitch, so can see why they planned this!) and got him absolutely smashed.

Next morning, they're at the altar saying their vows, and right at the part where he's supposed to say, "I do.", he has to sprint out the side doors of the church and be sick all over the place (in full view of the church). Most guests didn't know he had been out the night before, so thought it was actually nerves, and that he was going to leave her at the altar.

He ended up having to go and lie down after the ceremony, so he missed his wedding reception, and they had to get the whole bridal party back together and rent the venue for another day so they could get photos taken.

My mum arrived at my wedding with a hangover, wearing the (black mini) skirt she'd been out in the night before and an oversized man's t-shirt. My sister carried out her repeated threat to 'leather' her 3 year old, during the speeches. My dad left early as his shoes were pinching his feet. The video clearly shows my mum mouthing the words "fucking row, this is" whilst gesturing to the (fantastic, imo, and v.expensive) live band, before rounding up her brothers/sisters/friends for a mass exodus to the bar downstairs.
My new husband collapsed on top of our bed, so that I couldn't even get under the duvet, so I had to get in with Ds, who had not gone to stay at my mum's as agreed, due to her nabbing the taxi I'd booked to take my husband and me to a hotel for the night, to take her and her mate clubbing.
Still, it could have been worse; my (v.nervous) brother got so drunk that he wee'd the bed on his wedding night...

When my cousin got married her mum (my dads SIL) wore a red sari similar to the bride. Bear in mind thst she is 60+ & also dyed her hair a sort of reddish mahogany to match her sari. She looked quite a picture and attracted lots of whispered comments but not of the sort she wanted!

The mother of the bride also walked around the tables & snatched the cards/ money envelopes from the guests by saying "is that for me?" She then proceeded to open the cards & pocketed the cash for herself. I knew that she would do this so I advised all my family to give cheques. My aunt rang me the next day to tell me off for writing a cheque in the brides' name!

Mine aren't amazing but here goes.

Mil got slaughtered and spent the evening trying to grab my very reluctant father for a dance and when she did finally get him on the dance floor she kept stroking his bald head!

I'd asked my mum and sister if they could cut my cake up for me (budget wedding) after the buffet and serve it and you'd never seen a more reluctant pair! Did a half arsed job and most of the guests had left by the time they had done it so most of it got wasted.

First dance went hideously wrong because someone's plus 1 had brought her 3 year old who she let roam free and consequently pulled some essential leads out of the dj's equipment so we had to go off the dance floor and were called back 5 mins later!

A friend's wedding I went to recently was fab until the groom, who we barely knew, vomited all over himself completely unexpectedly whilst talking to us then collapsed on the floor. Bride was utterly unfazed and just carried on dancing. It was hilarious

Just thinking that when dh and I were travelling to the reception he told me what had happened that morning at the hotel!

When we had been down to deliver some things the morning before the wedding, the owner said he needed to speak to the best man! So that morning FIL and BIL go to the hotel to hand in the overnight bags for us all. BIL is terrified when he leaves. FIL had gone to the loo and missed it. But the owner had told him that he would have to be the bouncer if there was any trouble .

BIL was the one likely to get into trouble!!! BIL had been shitting himself all day and DH found it hilarious. So much so that the driver of our car had to pull over as he was laughing so much at dh about it!

Yes Libra, you win!

(Out of lurkerdom and outing myself with this.)

So, DH and I seem to be very good at the"worse", "sickness", and "poorer" of the vows (but are blissfully happy).

We married when DD was 5 months old. Two weeks before the wedding, building work under our maisonette left the inside of our home absolutely covered in thick cement dust when builders ripped down a ceiling without warning. We had to move out for three days, taking only what we could carry.

Two days before the wedding I went on a token hen do to a nearby sushi restaurant. I felt a bit rubbish on leaving and wondered if I'd had food poisoning. Turned out to be norovirus. I spent the day before the wedding sitting on the toilet, vomiting into a bucket, and being vomited on by a baby who I was breastfeeding round the clock to get fluids into her. I vividly remember looking at now-DH while he brought me yet another glass of dioralyte and announcing through gritted teeth: "we're getting married tomorrow even if I have to carry a bucket down the aisle".

We notified all guests that norovirus was on the menu. Everyone still decided to come, meaning that a third of the guests ended up ill afterwards, including my DSis who was 6 months pregnant. Also, it had snowed the week before and it was hit-and-miss as to whether our overseas guests would make it but fortunately they did. My wedding prep ideas were abandoned and it was all hands on deck to liberally decorate the ceremony room with small plastic dinosaurs.

I wanted a really simple, plain, white dress to wear. I had found a secondhand one on eBay for a mere £15 but DD's arrival also meant a massive increase in norkage so three weeks before the wedding we were driving 50 miles to the nearest BHS to find a dress that would cover the ample bosom. It worked fine on the day, although DH, who laced me into it, laced it incorrectly (not that I noticed or gave a... well, crap).

Ceremony was lovely, reception went well, but I spent my wedding day sober as a judge and unable to eat anything other than imodium. DD's norovirus nappy leaked all over DH's new trousers but he had his jeans with him so that was fine and he was more comfortable in them anyway. I just clamped DD to a boob and got on with the party.

My favourite cousin and her DH fell out spectacularly. It transpired things were Not Good and they separated soon after. Nearly three years on she is happily involved with another of my wedding guests...

Two of my closest friends got absolutely hammered and went missing for three days.

DH and I spent our wedding night in a tiny hotel room, taking turns to syringe rehydration fluid into DD's mouth. Fortunately all three of us are now doing the happily ever after thing rather nicely.

In comparison, it was a breeze compared to my parent's wedding. They were a Protestant and a Catholic marrying in Belfast in 1972. Not the done thing. They had a huge amount of opposition, both within and outside the families. DM's DF was advised that if he went to the wedding it'd be the last one he ever went to. He had to sit in the car park while my great-uncle gave away DM. 41 years later my parents are still married (although I reckon a lot of that is down to stubbornness and two fingers up to the haters).

Oh, i'm laughing so much at these, tho i'm sure not so funny at the time.

I've nothing to compete with this, only one or two quickies.

During speeches at one wedding, group dressed in black walked past the window. They had arrived to scatter some ashes!

Another wedding, one guest who had recently got engaged spent whole time saying 'oh, we're not having it like this, i much prefer...'

Another wedding FoB made a 'joke' in his speech implying the bride was sleeping around, and another FoB speech revolved around how much he hated his daughter's exboyfriend!

Mine was a small wedding and was good apart from mum managed to break the cd player so we had no music plus my step father ducked out for some reason and missed the speeches and then complained loudly about missing them on his return and made dh do another speech thanking everyone again. It was very embarrassing. Plus we were told we couldnt invite many as was in mums garden for the reception but at the wedding we noticed was loads of mums friends that she had invited without asking us! Still annoys me six years on. Love dh though.

Went to a wedding where the best man (at mother of the groom's insistence) was her lover. I think the only person who didnt know was her son. It became very obvious in the BM speech that he barely knew who the groom was

I had a small afternoon reception (just buffet, no disco/music).

There was a piano that my dad decided to have a play on (nice bit of jazz/swing).

The ex mil had invited various people that I hardly knew (her friends) and one rather large lady decided to have a very loud sing-a-long. Luckily I was hammered.