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Original poster

hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

310 replies

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 16:16

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 29/07/2013 07:22

I'm not sure I am good enough at coming up with secrets Grin

I think LadyMilfordHaven would love eating seafood myself :)

Original poster
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 29/07/2013 06:58

Don't,
and
Break

OP posts:
Original poster
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 29/07/2013 06:56

Sometimes when I tell you something has gluten in, I'm lying. I just don5 want to share.

That crappy mini air hocky table didn't beak. I broke it because I couldnt face yet another fight between you about it.

It isn't actually against the law to not obey your parents.

OP posts:
notnagging · 29/07/2013 04:08

My kids always say they can't live without something & never notice when I throw it away.
I don't want them to be hoarders like their parents. Tidying up is unnecessarily long because they've got so much stuff! The local cashforclothes shop is my end of the month saviour.Smile

TheDetective · 28/07/2013 23:15

Not long pass. Not long enough....

Get started.... NOW!

queenebay · 28/07/2013 23:02

The random old man in the park isn't the park keeper coming to lock up the park so we have to get out. The children who stay are just naughty!

All the parcels that arrive are not for daddy's friend at work and he uses our address because I am in during the day.

Daddy does not take all your drawings to put in his office because they are so good- I'm afraid they go in our wheely bin!

crazy8 · 28/07/2013 22:53

Yes. Diet coke and normal coke should not be drunk by children as it makes your teeth go black! And you don't want rotten teth do you?? Do you???

Passmethecrisps · 28/07/2013 22:53

Watching this and going to study it.

DD is 8.5 months. How long do I have to cram?

LustyBusty · 28/07/2013 22:48

I rarely "laugh out loud"... But this thread has me HOWLING!! Grin

devonsmummy · 28/07/2013 22:36

All the times I tell you it's 'big kids time' at the park & we need to go - I just want to go home cos ivehad enough.
Wee willie Winkie is tapping on the windows - it's me knocking on the side of the bed

AnneEyhtMeyer · 28/07/2013 22:31

Oh and the "Anti-bad-dream-spray"? Actually a bottle of stuff that is meant to make hair shiny but is rubbish.

lucysmam · 28/07/2013 22:21

I still want to know what happens when Chameleon gets to five!!!! for future use because I am shit at consequences or dd2 just agrees to them Hmm

devonsmummy · 28/07/2013 22:17

Toys R Us isn't really closed because they're painting the floor / Santas elves are shopping / they have a power cut!

DollyTwat · 28/07/2013 22:14

Oh and the 'monster spray' I used to spray round your rooms to keep the monsters away? Water in a bottle with a picture of a monster on

DollyTwat · 28/07/2013 22:13

I'm not such a technical genius that I can tell how long you've been in the pc or Xbox. Sorry ds. I won't be confessing for a few years yet though

SlatternismyMiddlename · 28/07/2013 22:04

DS, all those times I let you stay up to midnight - it was really about 9o'clock, you just couldn't read the clock yet.

And that green pasta you liked, it was spinach.

And if you had been able to count you would have realised how many of your fish did actually die.

And the cats didnt really stay on your bed at night to keep the monsters away, they are just lazy and like a comfy bed.

MaureenMLove · 28/07/2013 22:02

I've saved most things MissStrawberry, but when you take an empty cereal box to school and half a dozen kitchen roll tubes and they return the very same day, stuck together as a work of art, you wonder why you didn't miss out the middle man and pop them straight in the recycling box on the way out the door! Grin

youarewinning · 28/07/2013 21:59

PMSL @ Magic mushrooms Grin

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/07/2013 21:53

Oh and DD2, those craft kits that we gave to your friends at the last, um, five or six birthday parties you went to? No, they did not look familiar. No, I did not whisk away about half of your presents and hide them for re-gifting. I love those craft kits. Honest.

LegoAcupuncture · 28/07/2013 21:52

That broccoli salad you think you're eating is actually cabbage. Bon appetite!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/07/2013 21:50

No I don't have any money in my purse DD1 (and now also DD2) to buy any shite sugary drinks and crisps from the vending machines in the leisure centre when you have just finished your healthy hour of gymnastics or trampolining or swimming.

MissStrawberry · 28/07/2013 21:42

MaureenMLove - I had to read the green box once twice before I got it Blush. could be because I have saved everything my dcs ever made or drew.

HoggyTruffle · 28/07/2013 21:29

DS, Father Christmas did not have a magic camera that came down the chimney when you weren't looking. That's why no matter how quickly you turned round you never saw it.

Same here with the calpol dislike - that warm slightly pink milk you had did not taste strange, it was just laced with calpol.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 28/07/2013 21:26

Sorry DD's
That 'shrek soup' = spinach soup
Those violin lessons that had no spaces left....
That Harvest Festival (yawn) don't you know they picked parents using a raffle system. Better luck next year.

Wish I had some for the teenage years.

Back2Two · 28/07/2013 21:24

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