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Original poster

hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

310 replies

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 16:16

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

OP posts:
sapfu · 28/07/2013 16:53

Only you are sad that those toys no longer ping, squeak and warble because 'they don't make that kind of battery any more.' I am fucking gleeful about it.

youarewinning · 28/07/2013 16:53

PsammeadPaintedTheLion Sun 28-Jul-13 16:37:02

That man who mummy talks to at the door every once in a while? That's not Father Christmas's helper making spot checks. That's the postman.

^ that is bloody genius Grin

CoolStoryBro · 28/07/2013 16:52

Howstricks you just start from 1 again. Works every time!!

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom · 28/07/2013 16:52

That magic water that fixes bumps and bruises. ...erm.

LittleSporksBigSpork · 28/07/2013 16:52

Do we need to be original? No point reinventing the wheel.

FriskyHenderson · 28/07/2013 16:51

The Internet isn't broken, I just switched the router off.

Layl77 · 28/07/2013 16:51

I don't really want to time you to find the hairbrush to see if you'll make the next Olympics.. I Just want the fooking hairbrush and can't be arsed getting it myself

'Pixie pillows' are just shredded wheat

KeziaCunningham · 28/07/2013 16:51

Ooh just thought of another one. My DD believed that you could only buy fizzy orange in Spain. She called it Spanish orange juice.

Until she was about 6!

Howstricks · 28/07/2013 16:50

Oh yes..and when i say i'm going to count to 3, i have absolutely no clue what i would do if i got to 3! (Fortunately never made it past 2).Smile

AnnabelleLee · 28/07/2013 16:50

Y'know the battery elf that lives under the floorboards and steals the batteries from your toys, especially the really fucking irritating ones like the disney phone or that sodding singing bus loud ones?....yeah, about that.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2013 16:50

Don't feed the troll. She doesn't like courgette, broccoli or cheese.

CoolStoryBro · 28/07/2013 16:49

Lady Milford, have you thought that MN may not be the place for you? It seems to make you unfathomably irritable.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2013 16:48

and DD, when you whine that the bath is too hot and refuse to sit down, the thimbleful of cold I then add is likely to have no effect, other than to convince you to sit down and that it's fine

sapfu · 28/07/2013 16:48

HouseAtreides Sun 28-Jul-13 16:45:55

Who had a dump in your handbag Lady?

ROAR at this

CoolStoryBro · 28/07/2013 16:47

The texts I got from Father Christmas? That was your Dad. I just edited his details on my iPhone. But hey! At least you tidied your rooms.

Original poster
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 16:47

Oh will you just naff off. Do you ever join in the spirit of a thread as a nice person or do you just trawl round looking for places to slip a bitch in?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2013 16:47

PMSL at magic casserole dish :o :o :o

HouseAtreides · 28/07/2013 16:46

DD1... That instant mash you will only eat... It ain't instant :)

HoggyTruffle · 28/07/2013 16:46

DS, when you were 2 and didn't like your medicine I did not use my entire range of food colouring to mix in and pretend it was different 'nice' medicine.

KeziaCunningham · 28/07/2013 16:46

Aww this thread is making me nostalgic.

Mummy's water was lemonade.
Special grapes = olives
Fizzy drink = a tiny bit of apple juice with carbonated water
Diet coke = for grown ups, like beer.
Lamb - yes it is a coincidence it's called the same as the fluffy animals in the field (soft ex-vegetarian mummy)

DD is 11 now. The only one I still get away with is calling every curry Korma, or she'll claim it's too spicy.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2013 16:46

Those quality toys that mysteriously disappear, that you get on the front of magazines. binned. every. single. one.

Cheese hating DS, you do know what pizza topping consists of don't you? Apparently not...

CunningAtBothEnds · 28/07/2013 16:46

Also whilst unburdening my soul...

DH.. That separate non-quorn cos healthier isnt as manly clearly? lasagne the other night, that one that "just had that depth of flavour you CANT get from quorn" the one that generated no extra washing up... Well think on it buddy?!

DS1 yes it is odd that thieves deem only your screechy recorder and similarly annoying whistles worthy o theft, but, let us not forget that is only because they tripped and broke that annoyingly loud bastard venus, rendering it tuneless Grin

HouseAtreides · 28/07/2013 16:45

Who had a dump in your handbag Lady?

Ruprekt · 28/07/2013 16:45

You know I told you Ant and Dec answered the phone when we voted 3 times in Britains Got Talent? They didnt. I only pretended to phone. Confused

DwightFry · 28/07/2013 16:41

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