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Original poster

hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

310 replies

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 16:16

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2013 17:18

"I keep emergency episodes of the bedtime hour recorded and put them on early, you're actually going to bed early."

evil genius!!

RenterNomad · 28/07/2013 17:17

Message deleted by Mumsnet for encouraging cruel and unusual punishment.

FancyPuffin · 28/07/2013 17:15

Oh yeah, the fish don't actually lay down to sleep.

HeeBeeGeebies · 28/07/2013 17:15

Those biscuits you love, they're oatcakes.

DowntonTrout · 28/07/2013 17:14

Not me, but a friend.

Used to tell her boys it was bedtime, but really had put the clocks forward. They still fell for it aged 11 and 9!

Sparklysilversequins · 28/07/2013 17:13

The toy shop/park/swimming pool is not closed today, I just don't want to go. Oh and when I phone them to check and they tell me they're closed I am actually talking to the dial tone Smile.

That chocolate milk you love so much? There's about a tenth of a cup in there, the rest is topped up with ordinary organic milk because you won't drink milk otherwise.

That "special" orange jacket potato? I did baked sweet potato too and mashed half of it in so you'd get a portion of veg inside you for once.

Dd your leggings, shorts and trousers are not ALL in the wash, I just want you to wear that lovely cool sundress I got you that I know you will feel lovely and comfortable in.

EatYourCrusts · 28/07/2013 17:12

Ooh some of these are good! You devious lot!

Treagues · 28/07/2013 17:12

Wine doesn't make mummy clever.

whatkungfuthat · 28/07/2013 17:11

McDonalds didn't really burn down. Three times.

SupermansBigRedPants · 28/07/2013 17:09

My brats like veg but ds isn't a big meat eater - we hide that in pastry or beans! do you think she'd start a thread bitching on that Wink

Or is it only vegetables that dc don't need to have Confused my head hurts.

BikeRunSki · 28/07/2013 17:08

Driinks that come in metal tins are not really poisonous to children. Not in the short term anyway.

FancyPuffin · 28/07/2013 17:07

Dd the soft play place isn't actually closed I just can't bear it anymore.

The toys in the broken toy cupboard? All suffered death by stamping and battery removal. Also there are not actually scary things in the cupboard it's empty.

I haven't let you stayed up really really late I keep emergency episodes of the bedtime hour recorded and put them on early, you're actually going to bed early.

RenterNomad · 28/07/2013 17:07

I put DS's balloon in a street bin today. It hadn't even popped!

CrazyHamsterdisguisedasatree · 28/07/2013 17:03

Posted to soon Blush

That 'Magic Pop' you drink is not made by the fairies at the bottom of the garden it is Robinsons cordial & Fizzy water

Original poster
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 17:03

Course she did. Its not the first time either.
And she's started a thread about it. Veg hiding parents what's the point neurotic doesn't hurt a kid to grow up on burgers and fags argh argh argh!
Missing the point of this thread by a mile.
Got to laugh, really.
I don't think she likes me very much Grin

OP posts:
icecubed · 28/07/2013 17:02

DB Mum gave you normal pork sausages for years despite asking the Butcher for Wolf ones as they were the only ones you would eatGrin

SupermansBigRedPants · 28/07/2013 17:01

Who had a dump in your handbag Lady?

Don't feed the troll. She doesn't like courgette, broccoli or cheese.

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

CrazyHamsterdisguisedasatree · 28/07/2013 17:00

Hoggy food colouring in medicine what a genius idea

Ds the air freshner things that go off every so often do not have a camera in so Father Christmas can watch you , Oh & he doesn't come round every week to inspect your bedroom
Also not all meat is chicken , surely you have noticed the difference in taste Confused

Not everything I eat has fish in , I just tell you that because I don't want to share.
Your Golfish James & Percy did not go & live with Nemo at the Sealife centre & your hamster Henry-Gordon is buried at the bottom of the garden & did not run away to join the circus

KeziaCunningham · 28/07/2013 16:59

Oh and that time you got stung by a stinging nettle and I couldn't find a dock leaf, but then grandad found a special dock leaf. Definitely not a dandelion leaf. Oh no..

GherkinsAreAce · 28/07/2013 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RatUpADrainpipe · 28/07/2013 16:58

Oh, this thread has made my afternoon Grin

AdoraBell · 28/07/2013 16:57

Yes, DDs, I do put mushrooms in a lot of meals I cook for you, and I've been doing it for years

FancyPuffin · 28/07/2013 16:57

Grin at this thread.

DowntonTrout · 28/07/2013 16:55

That time we ate at a harbour side fish restaurant and you ate that bowl of crispy chips.

They weren't chips, they were whitebait. Really.Grin

Eyesunderarock · 28/07/2013 16:54

Oh yes!
So many happy, happy memories and some that still work.
The nutella still lives in the organic chai tea tin. 18 years and you haven't worked that one out yet.
Yes to golden mash, I learned that one from my mum when I found out at 31 that special mash included my portion of carrots...and a raw egg yolk!
(I omitted the yolk)