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Tell me about the worst dinner party you've ever been to

213 replies

IwishIwishIwish · 27/07/2013 11:57

We had friends to dinner last night and despite feeling ill I did my best to do a good meal because my mum brought me up to always treat guests well however hard things may be otherwise.

It set me thinking about meals I've been invited to and then I remembered the horribly embarrassing meal we were invited to at a work colleagues of DP last year. I didn't really know them but we went along. On arrival we were served with a glass of ribena. Unusual I think to myself but I quite like ribena (dp hates it). We stood about politely drinking ribena then were told dinner was ready. In each place was a plate with a piece of toast (most of it cold) and in the middle a packet of tesco value pate not even opened and one knife. The 12 of us carefully shared it out. Hostess then produced an apple each cut into quarters with a slither of cheese followed up by a cup of tea or coffee and that was dinner (served with more ribena).

Maybe I'm just a horrible person but it has to be the worst dinner party I've ever been to! Socialising with friends was lovely but surely a dinner party is as much about the food as the socialising?

DP and I had brought a bottle of wine as had all the other invited couples but all of those were squirreled away by host and not seen again. I don't think they were short on money by the way though you can't always tell by looking so they may have been trying to make the best of a bad situation

OP posts:
youarewinning · 27/07/2013 22:31

2 pages on and I'm still PMSL @ we called her Sooty Grin

These are brilliant - keep them coming.

jcscot · 27/07/2013 22:17

We also threw a dinner party where no one turned up. I had asked my husband for a copy of the S&S list in order to unvite various people for dinner. Husband couldn't be bothered so said he'd send out the invitations.

Dinner night arrives, the porc aux cassis was perfectly done...and no one turns up.

Turns out the husband had confused the date and everyone was expecting to come the following Thursday. So, we knocked on our neighbours doors and had fourteen of them round for dinner instead.

I couldn't possibly comment on the animated discussion had by my husband and I after the event.

SanityClause · 27/07/2013 22:15

*couple's

SanityClause · 27/07/2013 22:14

When DH and I were in our twenties, we had been invited to a couples' house for dinner - they were quite a bit older - so we invited them back for dinner.

On the evening, it just got later and later, and they hadn't turned up. We finally put the food (salmon steaks) in the freezer, as we thought they weren't coming. At about 9:00 or 9:30, they finally turned up. He was absolutely bladdered. DH seems to remember he had been at the rugby at Twickenham all day.

She was obviously absolutely furious with him. She would have been in her 50s and was about 20 years older than him, and she had been a teacher, so had a bit of a schoolmarm-ish way about her.

Obviously, I was a lot younger, and found the whole thing excruciatingly embarrassing.

We did see him afterwards, for drinks at the pub and so on, but I don't think we ever socialised with her again.

ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 22:00

Has anyone else nominated this for Classics? It's a fantastic thread.

fishandlilacs · 27/07/2013 21:53

Once we were invited to a bbq at our friends Mums house, we got there to find that we were expected to clear thin massive overgrown bit of garden before the bbq could even be laid out, while the mother and owner of the house sat in her kitchen smoking spliffs and drinking tea. There was no food in sight.

fishandlilacs · 27/07/2013 21:51

I haven't had time to read the whole thread but surely surely someone must have said "Pom bear anyone?"

yegodsandlittlefishes · 27/07/2013 21:50

We were invited around to dinner by neighbours soon after moving to a new place (this was before children). Dinner consisted of a 'buffet' of large platefuls of ketchup sandwiches. Cheap, nasty tasting ketchup with no butter or spread, on cheap, thin white bread.

Then the couple proceeded to talk about their sex lives (and the dp's impotence) in embarassing detail.

Another time, we had stayed over at a friend's house for a lovely party. Asked to stay for lunch the next day, we had leftover cold rice salad. We then went on to stay with relatives and suffered 5 days of agonising food poisoning (from the rice salad).

deleted203 · 27/07/2013 21:45

Actually, I once (when single) was invited to dinner by some kind, elderly acquaintances who thought I needed to get out the house more.

When I arrived on their doorstep, complete with bottle of wine, having booked a babysitter, it was completely obvious that they'd forgotten all about it - and had already eaten.

They ushered me in apologetically and then rushed frantically about the kitchen, pulling open the freezer and desperately looking for something they could cook for me. I kept apologising and telling them it was fine - I wasn't particularly hungry - but they insisted that I had come round for a meal and they would feed me.

The DH ended up cooking me Birds Eye Cod Steaks and Oven Chips. Even worse, some well to do neighbours popped round to see them just as he was dishing up my meal and I was introduced to them as 'this is sowornout - she came round for a meal' and the whole bunch of them politely insisted on sitting at the kitchen table happily watching me as I forced my tea down - crimson with embarrassment!

I felt like Little Orphan Annie!

KoalaFace · 27/07/2013 21:40

I am loving this thread! I keep laughing and trying to read out to DH amidst giggles and snorts.

Croissants! Shut the fuck up Babara! Those hideous trainees....

This thread is solid gold.

jcscot · 27/07/2013 21:37

I am agog at the naked hostess!

Old raver, I don't think there were shenanigans at our SS but I was a bit too tiddly to notice!

chipmonkey · 27/07/2013 21:35

Imperial, the dh said afterwards that he hadn't noticed! Hmm But the MIL sounds totally toxic and her children all enable her "That's just Mum, ignore her" type of comments. So friend now has nothing to do with her.

itstheyearzero · 27/07/2013 21:29

Went for dinner at a very old and dear friends house. When we got there it was obvious she had been drinking, she kept banging into things and slurring her words. To be fair the dinner was lovely, I'm not quite sure how she did so well given how leathered she was. We got through dinner, lots of red wine was drunk, then she said she was going to the loo. She never came back. We all had a bit of a joke about it, she had obviously just gone for a lie down etc etc, fair enough. We all carried on drinking, then about half an hour later we heard her coming down the stairs. We all looked up as she walked into the dining room, and she was stark naked. She was stark naked and sleepwalking! We all kind of looked at each other aghast, she mumbled something about seahorses, then turned around, went into the living room and lay down on the couch.

Her other half covered her up with a blanket, and to this day we have never ever told her what she did...

Oldraver · 27/07/2013 21:28

jscot I live in a developement of seven houses and we had a few Safari partys to get to know one another. At the last one we kept on having to wait for him from no35 and her from no20.....they kept disappearing into his house and would come out together..almost everyone knew what wa sgoing on apart from the wife of no35

FondantNancy · 27/07/2013 21:22

Loving the blue tit ruckus and the 'croissants'! More please...

Fluffycloudland77 · 27/07/2013 21:15

"Shutthefuckupbarbara" should surely be a nn on here soon.

ErrorError · 27/07/2013 21:08

PMSL at "Shut the fuck up Barbara!" Grin

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 27/07/2013 20:58

Frau I love your Dad :)

jcscot · 27/07/2013 20:57

Imperial - Army Officers. I believe only one is still serving. I did get my revenge...

ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 20:55

Love the croissants, FrauMoose!

ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 20:54

jscot that is an incredible story! They had the nerve to think you should just wait on them? I would be furious!

Can you please please give us a hint as to the careers these people would be having?

FrauMoose · 27/07/2013 20:41

My parents were rather modest people - and not great cooks - but did feel an effort should be made to put on the style for guests. I'd have been around 8 when there was a visitor for lunch, and the Heinz cream of tomato soup was served with little cubes of fried Hovis.

My father passed the Hovis cubes to our visitor with a great flourish and said, 'Do have some croissants.'

jcscot · 27/07/2013 20:37

We have to do a lot of formal (and informal) entertaining due to my husband's job and have a huge store of dinner party stories. sometimes the entertaining is compulsory (ie: bosses, company colleagues etc) and sometimes it simply fun (having people round because we "owe" them and it's our turn) and sometimes by blackmail (there was a tradition of "gnoming").

The worst one I hosted was a dinner for a group of young men and women about to finish their training course (my husband was on the staff at the training establishment). Please bear in mind that social etiquette is actually part of the course they were on.

Firstly, only one of them sent an acceptance to the invitation although one of the females (three males, two females were invited) left a message on my answering machine an hour before dinner telling me she hoped the food wouldn't be "...fattening as she was on a diet...".

They all arrived together - half an hour late.

Menu was Watercress Soup with homemade sourdough bread, Duck in a whisky and cream sauce, Chocolate and Chestnut Souffle followed by cheese and port etc.

I served the soup and took my seat. Cue one of the male guests expressing surprise that I was joining them for dinner - "Isn't this only for personnel?". Then one of the other male guests took a spoonful of the soup, tilted his spoon to let the soup drip back into the plate proclaiming "What exactly is this?".

One of the females was so quiet that I never heard her utter a word all evening and she didn't even reply when I tried to draw her into conversation. The other female was so loud and abrasive and talked over my head throughout dinner.

Third male guest pinched my backside as I cleared the table after the starter.

During the main course, the male guest who'd expressed surprise at my daring to sit down and eat, proceeded to lecture my husband about his job and correct him on various points he felt were salient and to tell the colleague (and best friend of my husband) who had also been invited that she didn't have a clue about things.

Then he asked my husband about their placements after training - when my husband told him that it would be decided partly on his recommendation, guest said that the trainees had decided that they wanted the list in advance and would "...divvy it up amongst themselves...".

Over dessert, I ventured an opinion on some current affairs topic that was being discussed only to be told by strident female that she was surprised I'd even thought about it - "...isn't it a bit out of your depth?"

By the time they left - we practically threw them out as quickly as was decent - I had smoke coming out of my ears, my husband's colleague was aghast at the thought of working with them and my husband was composing a strongly worded letter to the instructors on their behaviour.

Three of them never bothered with a thank you note (and they never brought a gift) and of the two who did send a note, one addressed it to my husband, thanking him for organising caterers!

On the flip side, we did attend the world's best dinner party during our time at the training establishment. All the staff lived on site and one of the bosses organised a Safari Supper - drinks at one house with one set of guests, starter at another house with a different set of guests, main and dessert as starter and then everyone back to the bosses house for cheese, port and brandy. It was an utterly fabulous evening - not everyone on the staff chose to take part and there were lots of people semi-drunkenly cycling around the patch between houses as they made their way from one course to the next (occasionally knocking on the wrong doors!). It was in our first couple of months there and it was a great way to get to know everyone.

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 27/07/2013 20:33

I'd started dating someone at uni but he was older and had graduated and was a little more sophisticated than me, he invited me to a dinner party at his house, I still remember beforehand we went to a wine shop and he was browsing the selection in a way which made me squirm - so we went back to his house and he cracked on with cooking but I drank some red wine which I wasn't used to, I just fell asleep on the sitting room sofa and missed the entire evening. No idea if anyone came into the room and wondered who the sleeping woman was.

I woke up the next day when he came in to rouse me, he had put a blanket over me, and waved food remnants in my direction because it was 8am and I hadn't eaten. I was so embarrassed I never saw him again.

deleted203 · 27/07/2013 20:31

Grin. It was probably the one where my DS1 (now 19) pooed in the toilet for the first time - and was so proud of it that he fished it out and, for some unknown reason, placed it on a sort of 'pillow' of cotton wool and carried it triumphantly down to the dinner table - whereupon he presented my MIL with the 'ceremonial turd'...

DD1 was shouting, 'Oh dood boy!' and MIL was recoiling in horror, shrieking 'get it away from me'.

I just took another slug of wine and and raised my eyebrows wearily I seem to remember.