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Original poster

Explain Children's TV Shows to me.

163 replies

TiggyD · 06/07/2013 21:52

I work in childcare and need to keep up to date with children's TV shows so I know what the kids are on about. Please could you explain a show each in just one sentence. And please could somebody do Ben 10?!

eg,
Teletubbies:
4 coloured blobs with various antenae prance about life eating toast and custard aided by a possessed hoover.

OP posts:
RippingYarns · 06/07/2013 22:58

big cook little cook

2 jobbing actors who knew the floor manager pretend they know anything about food, one is shrunk (little) and the other is really camp big

the twist in the tale being that little cock cook small is taller than big cook in RL

TolliverGroat · 06/07/2013 22:58

Ben 10 Alien Force: fifteen-year-old rediscovers alien artifact at the bottom of his sock drawer and recommences battling bad guys without grandfather, road trip or any of the charm of the original series.

ZolaBuddleia · 06/07/2013 22:57

Andy's Wild Adventures - Fatima Whitbread presents Animal Park with a smaller budget.

kim147 · 06/07/2013 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop · 06/07/2013 22:56

Get Well Soon:

A doctor, who specialises in puppet anatomy, is visited by various unaccompanied child puppets. If asked a question he asks a nurse to answer it. The nurse is unable to do so without the help of several human children who sing about throwing and catching a ball. Viewers start to feel itchy or otherwise ill after watching.

Panzee · 06/07/2013 22:56

Rhyme Rocket: a rhyming dictionary is used by two people watching their acting career disappear down the toilet. And they take off at slightly different times. Just watch the countdown.

Catmint · 06/07/2013 22:56

Peter Rabbit: the memory of Beatrix Potter is trampled into a steaming pile of shit.

AuntieStella · 06/07/2013 22:55

All Over The Place - bizarre road trip showing slices of life in USA, whilst parents wonder if Ed and Naomi are at it like rabbits off-camera.

PoppyWearer · 06/07/2013 22:55

Doc McStuffins: annoying child mends broken toys.

RippingYarns · 06/07/2013 22:54

nina and the neurons

nina dumbs down science for people who really want to learn while wearing waaaaay too much eyeshadow

PseudoBadger · 06/07/2013 22:54

The Lingo Show. Learn any language as long as it's Welsh.

nenevomito · 06/07/2013 22:54

The Wiggles

4 old Australian blokes sing songs that make toddlers happy and adults cry. There are puppets. They add nothing. There is a pirate with a large feather that he pretends is a sword. His job is to be so fucking annoying that the 4 old Australian blokes actually seem reasonable.

Panzee · 06/07/2013 22:54

Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom: Owen from Corrie is king of the fairies. Grandpa Pig is the Wise old Elf. Nanny Plum rocks. That's about it.

TheDeadlyDonkey · 06/07/2013 22:54

Get Well Soon - Dr Ranj teaches children to not only laugh about poo, but to sing about it too!

PoppyWearer · 06/07/2013 22:53

Get Well Soon: a real doctor (who is a bit of a hottie) talks about poo lots. Really, lots.

RippingYarns · 06/07/2013 22:53
Grin
comeonbishbosh · 06/07/2013 22:52

Old Jacks Boat

Bernard Cribbins and beautiful dog Rusty escape a charming seaside location (it's STAITHES we all cry out smugly) populated by frankly lunatic residents by sailing on their unnecessarily CGI-ed boat. A tedious story is told.

PoppyWearer · 06/07/2013 22:52

Or what RippingYarns said. Nice juxtaposition!

nenevomito · 06/07/2013 22:51

Fireman Sam

Group of firefighters sort out yet another fuck up caused by the ASBO earning Norman price and his feckless mother. One Italian stereo type and the boy's voice is done by a girl.

Catmint · 06/07/2013 22:51

Tree Fu Tom: an insufferable boy miniaturises himself in order to patronise a butterfly, a bug, an acorn and a frog, summoning up 'big world magic' to resolve every self inflicted problem by performing half arsed pretend exercises.

AuntieStella · 06/07/2013 22:51

Blue Peter: long running magazine show whose presenters become either National Treasures or National Disgraces.

RippingYarns · 06/07/2013 22:51

bob the builder

bob (the builder) builds fuck all while wendy and a team of haunted heavy plant do their stuff

PoppyWearer · 06/07/2013 22:51

Bob the Builder: an animated version of "Grand Designs" in which all of the building equipment has developed artificial intelligence as free will, and the increasingly Eco-minded building projects each take no more than a day to complete, no matter how complex. Budgets do not appear to be an issue.

PoppyWearer · 06/07/2013 22:49

Jelly Jamm: fuck knows what it's about. Not a clue.

IndiansInTheLobby · 06/07/2013 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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