Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Gaahhh, can you sew up a belly button?

132 replies

TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:15

Or maybe stuff a cork in it or something?

I shifted some garden waste earlier and I was annoyed but not worried by a very itchy waistband.
I had tree bits everywhere but we were burning it all & would only get more scratchy bits on me so I left it. This was my first mistake.

I got in the bath and my belly button was still stabby and itchy, so I armed my self with tweezers to try and get a splinter out.

It was not a splinter.
It was a fecking huge bug of unknown species, at least dog sized, probably carnivorous. I would be prepared to swear I saw fangs.

It obviously saw my weaponry and made a dash for it...down my leg
It's gone now but I don't know where...I can feel it watching me. It could swim, nowhere is safe.

What if waits unti I'm asleep and tries to eat my face? What if it liked my belly button and decides to get back in ?

OP posts:
TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:48

I did not believe my belly button was any deeper than usual...it appears I was wrong Confused. I mean, I can see the bottom of it.

Madbuslady - your cupboard has been upgraded to a very secure place - I'm thinking Magneto's cell in X-Men. Wink

Ok. Ok, so sensibly I can't set the house alight, the insurance did not have an option for 'insectoid body snatcher invasion counter attack' and DH would probably give me a Hmm . I can't find it - this will have to be remedied.
I am not covered in bugs

I hope to goodness I cannot fit a whole centipede in my belly button. If I can this is surely the start of bigger problems.

And - it's freaking you guys out?! I nearly peed.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/06/2013 22:47

Could you temporarily fill in your belly button with something - silicone bath sealant perhaps - so if it does come back, it can't get in? And wear two pairs of knickers, and put rubber bands round the bottom of your pyjamas, so it can't run up your leg and crawl in - ahem - somewhere else!

TrinityRhino · 15/06/2013 22:45

was it like this?

Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:44

www.fcps.edu/islandcreekes/ecology/garden_centipede.htm

WafflyVersatile · 15/06/2013 22:43

Entice it out of hiding with a carrot?

i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02071/huge-insect_2071941i.jpg

BeanoNoir · 15/06/2013 22:41

Did it have legs? Wings? Fangs? What colour? Fur? Scales? Squishy skin? Please describe.

TrinityRhino · 15/06/2013 22:40

how big is your belly button, surely it cant have been a centipede?

Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:39

Did it have wings? Maybug?

Or worse. Cockroach. ConfusedConfusedConfused

MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:39

Sorry. I will stop now. Blush

Could it have been a centipede? They look scary and go like the clappers but the worst that can happen is you get a bite. Do you have any stinging/itching?

TrinityRhino · 15/06/2013 22:38

earwig?

Ezza1 · 15/06/2013 22:38

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shock

Envy
LemonMousse · 15/06/2013 22:37

I'm shuddering here (and I'm the sort who removes spiders for the rest of the family) but this has freaked me out!

I'm glad my belly button is a bit of an 'outy' one. Is yours quite deep like a breeding ground then OP? Wink

MadBusLady · 15/06/2013 22:37

Hey, look on the bright side maybe you'll get used to it being around.

TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:35

No not a tick. I would be positively cock a hoop if it was just a tick.

It may not have been actually dog sized. But when suddenly part of some alien horror film panic does set in ever so slightly.

It is still here though - and I am not ok with that. I don't care if that makes me a wuss - but this whole situation is not ok!

OP posts:
Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:35

Ticks can't swim so if it was a tick it is now dead.

TotallyBursar · 15/06/2013 22:31

Oh my god

OP posts:
BeanoNoir · 15/06/2013 22:30

I feel sick reading this thread

Sorry op. Can anyone help the op at all? Rather than just shit her up more?

Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:30

Thanks Hearts.

UserError · 15/06/2013 22:30

This is almost like sporn, but ALIVE.

BeanoNoir · 15/06/2013 22:29

AAAHHHHH!!!

That's the scariest post ever

What are you going to do? How are you going to sleep?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/06/2013 22:29

This reminds me. Gross story alert.

Read a story once where someone went hiking in like the Amazon or somewhere, got an infection in his big toe, took his hunting knife to burst the blister, pressed it and out popped thousands of insect larvae.

Kneedeepindaisies · 15/06/2013 22:27

What the actual fuck?Confused

Where is it now? Still in the bath? Down the plug?

I hope you don't live near me.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/06/2013 22:26

Oh my fuck, Ugh, ick, ewwww!

I really have nothing else to say except thank you for the heebie jeebies

EeyoreIsh · 15/06/2013 22:25

eugh. Are you sure it wasn't a tick?

HoneyDragon · 15/06/2013 22:21

Stop gardening forever it's too dangerous.

Seek alcohol immediately, keep drinking till you can't remember where your belly button is. Then if the carnivorous giant bug with fangs returns you won't be able to give it directions,

Are you sure it climbed down your leg. Check your pubes for eyeballs.

Swipe left for the next trending thread