To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

Meant to add - it would appear that we may be at the beginning of a shift in tradition/culture in this country so we may as well get used to it. I think it's going to become the done thing within a generation.

This is what happens when being grabby for any event becomes acceptable.

When people began to feel that it was ok to have gift lists and direct requests for cash etc for their weddings, this was always going to be the end result.

If you can tell people what to get you for one big event - why not all of them? Normalise gift lists and cash poems and you see it bleed through to other events.

This is not the first of these threads I've read recently. I've read at least half a dozen more. Birthdays, christenings, the lot.

You must go, if only so that you can describe the whole event for the amusement of MN. I wonder if you'll get a 'naming ceremony' favour?

You could buy mum a copy of Debretts.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to go and say you'd already bought a gift before the list arrived. Plenty of people do this for weddings and if they're offended by your thoughtfulness then they're not really friends.... I'd definitely go for the ceremony and a drink but then I'd probably make excuses and go home for an early night... Don't you dare buy anything off that list when you already purchased something special for the baby!

I would suddenly 'remember' a previous engagement, that you can't get out of, and decline the invitation.

Well, they aren't having a Christening, so the norms for that sort of event don't apply. And there isn't a settled tradition in UK of what happens at naming ceremonies.

So whilst I would fulminate against an sort of 'gimme' list, for baby or any other family member for a Christening, I think anything goes when you choose a non-trad event.

Personally, I think unsolicited gist lists are tacky regardless of event. I'm usually a lone voice on MN "because it's so practical", and this doesn't actually strike me as worse than any other in terms of what this family has done. Their taste in choice to items to put on the list is also not something I share either.

Go, if you like them. Go off list if you want to (that's not usually recommended on MN even when you don't like what's on the list). Or don't go.

I would go (for the reasons you've said you feel you should go), but take the present you've already got for the baby. Ignore the list!!!

If they're genuinely nice then hope it's some sort of bizarre aberration that they'll be embarrassed of when they realise the social faux pas they've made!! Unless they're truly bonkers who would honestly challenge someone on not buying a present from a gift list?!!

PFB Syndrome on speed. I'd be unavailable that weekend, say I'd already bought something and post it on. If you go you will have to play their game or offend them, so better to not be there.

I would go but take a gift for the baby instead.

I would go and give the presents that you have already purchased for the baby.

They are either socially clueless and have totally got the wrong end of the stick about how christening type events work by modelling it on a posh wedding, or they are grasping beyond belief.

Didn't they have a naming ceremony planner?

Oh and obviously my present would be for the baby

YANBU, this is crazy But sounds like you'll still have to get something from the lost, or if you really can't face it, then get something lovely for the baby, they can't be too frustrated!

As for go or not ....very tricky

Probably I would go

But would bring something small and prob not on the list

I find it obscene

Could anyone be more materialistic ?

I would probably feel the need to say something .......

It's just so misguided

I would find myself wondering about her sanity

Greedy & grasping. They have modelled the event on a wedding, so formal reception, gift list & posh invites. Far better to have banked the money spent on the reception in a savings account for the baby.

Put £10-20 in an envelope with a leaflet for a savings account and job done. Greedy idiots.

'hot fork buffet' = not classy

Hang on a sec - what's a hot fork buffet?

And if they're that "classy", how comes it'll be a pay bar??

doubleshotespresso

I'm sure you have already agreed to be somewhere else on the day.

Haha another one who's night feeding has been brightened up. That's hilarious! Take what you've already got & say you'd bought it before the list arrived,hope that's ok etcetc. So funny!

Oh sorry I see you've already bought something which sounds lovely and appropriate for the occasion.

Ah this thread has brightened up my night feeding! Once again MN has educated me on just how downright bizarre some people are.

YANBU, I second the suggestion of a personalised keepsake for baby. I would actually be tempted not to go at all.

Ugh I feel sorry for the baby being thrust into the middle of all this grabby excess.

That is very grabby. I think the gift you've bought is perfect, don't buy anything else. Should they be so tacky as to mention it just tell them the truth and say you bought it before you received the gift list.

I agree with Snazzy... you must go and report back here afterwards!!! Your gift for the baby sounds gorgeous, ignore the ridiculous gift list...