To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

I'd go and take the present you described up thread then report back here to update.

Honestly, I think a breaching experiment is the only sensible explanation. It's so obviously a ridiculous thing to have done.

Send them an RSVP saying Did You Mean To Be So Rude

Go if you must, but very pointedly, only take a present for the baby, as is the norm.

Oh, and don't explain why there is nothing from the list. If she compounds the outrage by asking why not, I would feel compelled to tell her!

I have never heard anything like it!

We may not have set traditions for naming ceremonies, but it is traditional that gifts at all events are for the person who the event is for. Which in this case would be the baby, of course.

Sorry - not read everything but can shed some light on the naming ceremony bit (as everyone is focusing on the rather odd behaviour of the gift list). They are (if this is the UK) a service offered by the registrars service where they come and do an official 'naming' ceremony. They have a pro forma/suggested ceremony but you can write your own as well. My BF did one for her son and it was lovely - really like a christening - but without the water dripping and god bit! So there were places for godparents (yes, same name despite no 'god') to make promises about being there to support the child, siblings making like promises and the parents saying what being a parent meant for them. This was all over seen by the registrar. It is not an 'official' thing but another way of the registrars service making a bit of cash as there really is no legal point to it (unlike their other registrar duties).

Extremely odd to ask for presents for the mother - these things are all about the child - just like a christening. And I can't see the point in a gift list where things are soooo expensive - it's just rude and grabby and if their 'normal' people this must be truly baffling.

All of my four children were christened. Never would I ask for or expect gifts. They were all given gifts, but to actually ask for them? No way.

The same with our wedding. We were already living together and had dd1 so didn't 'need' anything really. I would never have asked for money either. Again we had gifts, and they were all the more special because they were items that our friends and family had chosen for us.

How about a book on how to regain her pre-pregnancy figure, or incontinence pants?

Thank you for the smile - I'm knackered and don't want to go to work today, this has cheered me up no end! It's so bad taste it's laughable (and thank God it's not me with the invite....................!!!)

We banned wedding gifts because the cost of attending a wedding is bad enough what with the outfits, travel and hotel bills that guests often have to pay for. I do think many people have loss perspective and proportion to the point of abject greed and self importance.

. That is all.

Maybe the couple are carrying out a breaching experiment, and will be carefully monitoring you all to see how you respond?

Very weird and tasteless and grabby. YANBU at all.

However a couple of DH's friends (all late 30s, single and childless) asked whether we had a gift list when DS1 was born! I was but I guess if you are completely clueless about children, then a gift list for baby consisting of sensible things like babygrows, nappies etc isn't such a bad thing. I've been to a few American style baby showers (though I live in UK) where there has been a list circulating but that has been at the request of guests that the mum to be has compiled a list - and it has been full of affordable items!!

Buy her a grip. (But take your lovely present for the baby).

Good grief!

Greedy, Greedy, Greedy.

If you feel compelled to gift, enclose a note saying you have donated some money to a Mother & Baby charity.

If you really do have to go, I would buy something for the baby and totally ignore the gift list.

Do you think there is any chance that the dh has done this in some insane misguided nonsense of wanting her to know how special and wonderful he thinks the mother of his child is ?

Would still be really shit but at least only one of them is grabby .

I just can't imagine seemingly otherwise normal people would behave like this . Especially if the wedding wasn't weird and grabby .

Good luck though . I would stick to what you have bought , only sadness is you won't see her open it up . Maybe put it in a Harvey Nichols bag for added excitement ;)

Whatever next! (That's oldy speak for FFS).

Wow, so grabby.

You have to feel a bit sorry for the baby with parents like that

Hot forks sounds dangerous.

While I'm totally with Snazzy as I REALLY want to know a) if anyone shows up and b) what the event is like, I would be developing a serious case of D+V on the morning of the event. Classic wimps way out that works every time.

Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. And I've heard some pretty ridiculous things.

Op just give your lovely gifts and ignore, I am sure others will do the same

I think your presents sound beautiful and I would be overjoyed to receive anything so thoughtful.

Go because the friendship is important to you, show grace and mark it down to an error of judgement and take the presents and explain if you feel the need that you bought them before getting the list.

These things are better not dwelt on if you want to stay friends.

That is grabby and rude and not normal, gifts if people choose to give are for the baby. I would just get te baby something nice