To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

I agree with others that if you feel you must go to the ceremony then take the gift for the baby and don't get anything from 'the list'. I would not make any explanation for it either.

1: I don't see the point in 'Naming Ceremonies', either you are religious
and you Christen your child, or you aren't and you don't! Christenings aren't about congratulating the parents and gift-giving, people usually already do this when the baby is born.

2: The fact that this celebration ends at 11pm (?!) seems to say even more that it's all about them and very little to do with their child.

Surely it's a joke!

WTAF how rude and grabby!

We had a naming ceremony, gifts were for the DC's and ranged from £5-£50 if guest wanted to, it certainly wasn't expected.

I'm amazed.

Tbh I would respond and say

"Thank you for the lovely invitation. Unfortunately though, I've already bought Baby Waldo a gift as I thought it was the baby who got gifts at the naming ceremony, not the mum. I'm mortified at being so out of touch! But I'll bring that along anyway and you and I can have a nice lunch somewhere down the line :)"

Oh yes I just saw the bit about classy wedding with wedding planner.

Hmm. Nope, can't think of any reason for this at all. None. I'm out. And would have to think of some way of raising it with them if they were good friends.

I can understand a naming ceremony as not everyone is keen on or comfortable with a religious ceremony, and if you want to celebrate welcoming your baby into your circle of family and friends, you should be able to do it as a secular thing. But the whole 'till 11pm', gifts for mum (poor dad who doesn't get a look in either) thing is ridiculous.

OP, I'll say it again - you MUST go and report back. Think of it as research for MN. You'll be doing participant observation on new and disturbing social trends.

I cant believe what Im reading. How incredibly rude.

I would go would be calling or texing with something along the lines of ' Thank you for the invite we recieved it today and would be honoured to attend your dc naming ceremony, The Joke gift list enclosed was hilarious and give us a giggle, Thanks again and see you soon'.

Have you spoken to anyone else who has recieved one?

Flowery Seems they had a tasteful wedding organised by a wedding planner, so not exactly small.

I noticed the earlier comment that perhaps the wedding planner kept their excesses to a minimum, so perhaps with no planner for the naming ceremony, those excesses have come to the fore.

But even if you're making up for a small wedding, surely you'd request gifts for the baby? After all, the baby is the REASON for a naming ceremony. It's just so odd and grabby.

That is incredibly rude, just unbelievable.

Did the couple only have a small wedding and they are seeing this as an opportunity to have the wedding reception they never had? Just trying to think of an explanation for this type of 'do' for a baby and the gift list for the mother....

I wouldn't go, and I would send the lovely present you've bought for the baby.

I like the idea of the tackiest sleb endorsed 'Get yer body back' fitness DVD

It's GOT to be a windup surely ??????

I reckon she's a MNer, and is now reading this thread laughing hysterically, and the real invitation will come soon.

I hope.

What the sweet fuck? I'd be tempted to send a note saying "catch yourself on" but I know that's a bit awkward for you.

Either stick with your gift (lovely btw) or donate to a charity - buy a goat, a year of school lunches for a child.

But I'd have to go to the ceremony, I couldn't resist a nosy.

How bizarre! And I say that as someone ho doesn't have a problem with gift lists at weings etc. But I've never heard of this for a baby-naming or christening.
As they are good friends and usually reasonable I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they've gone temporarily mad. Go, enjoy the do (souns like it might be nice) and take the gift you've already bought. Time will tell if the magic of childbirth has permanently altered their personalities...

Quite the worst thing I have heard of anyone doing, in terms of ordering gifts they are not entitled to.
A "naming day" is the non-religious equivalent of a christening .... at which people buy gifts FOR THE BABY, if they feel so inclined.

I would be sending the gift list back when you RSVP, with a polite note saying you intend to buy a gift for the child.

HawaiianSunset12 Naming ceremony seems to be a way of having a formal "welcome to the world" for a child instead of a christening or other religious ceremony, especially for those not religious.

Didn't bother, myself. I don't recall actually having any sort of party.

How cheeky!

My thoughts exactly HawaiianSunset12!

By the way, are you the author of this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1778460-to-feel-miffed-at-friend-with-new-baby

Because if so, I certainly wouldn't be going and spending that sort of money.

Why is a baby naming ceremony having an after party that goes on until 11pm?! Surely it's a nice little ceremony followed by the sandwiches and cakes (or afternoon tea and fizz if you're posh)?

And I thought only the god parents bought gifts at christenings?

If you think the friendship is worth keeping, and they are normally sane and lovely people, then you have to assume temporary PFB madness on a major scale. Grin and bear it till they calm down.

You can
a) create a v.important family occasion that clashes
b) accept and have 'd&v' that day
c) go, take your baby present, don't buy anything off the gift list, and don't mention the gift list

Actually I think you should go, and wander around the whole time saying "don't mention the gift list!" in a stage whisper.

I haven't read the whole thread but could this be a custom from elsewhere?

I usually take a prezzie for the baby and a box of 'forbidden pleasures' for the mum (ie unpasteurised cheese).

What on earth is a naming ceremony?? Surely you all know the babies name now, 8 months on????

I have so missed a trick! 3 dcs I've had christened. We've got more silver money boxes and tooth & curl boxes than we know what to do with. If only I'd thought to request a wee spa day instead

Seriously though wtf? Rude and grabby at best. You obviously feel you have to go so just give the beautiful and thoughtful baby gift you've already purchased and leave it at that. No explanation needed. She'll soon work it out when she gets three dozen photo albums and no spa day

I hate gift lists and cash requests and never ever buy off them. I hate people knowing exactly how much we've spent on them especially for weddings when we've often already had to fork out for stag and hen weekends, new outfit, kilt hire, hotel stay, cash for the actual wedding, hairdressers, organising childcare and often had to use holidays for wedding/stag and hen weekends. Can you tell we've got 3 big weddings coming up this summer and can't afford a holiday
because of them

Id love to see what gets planned for baby's first birthday

Just held a Naming Ceremony and we specifically asked for no gifts but to being a dish of food to share instead. We got more than enough at her birth and didn't want to seem greedy.

I'd stick with the lovely gifts for baby, together with a small box of After eights, expertly wrapped along with ribbons and bows, with a gift tag reading 'just a little something for you xx'