To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

YANBU, how rude!

Blimey!
I also think the wedding planner probably headed off similar tackiness at the wedding.

I've been to a secular humanist naming ceremony. There was no gift list for parents or child, and the mother was happily surprised that so many of us brought something.

I think go with the baby present you've already brought, nothing for mother.

Whatever happened to the tradition that father bought mother a present to recognise her hard work in producing the infant? I don't think the birth rate is so critical the whole community has to join in, though if that's the way we're going I want it made retrospective so I can have a pair of diamond earrings, please.

C'mon OP - tell us this is a joke thread please.

I must be so out of touch because the last time I went to a christening I gave the parents some money for the baby's savings account (and a bottle of wine for her mum). We didn't have an all-day do (no London Philharmonic orchestra,thrones etc) just a few drinks and sandwiches.

OP - I think the present you have bought is very thoughful and if the parents are crass enough to be pissed off with it they are not people you need in your life. I'd go to the do though (and take a doggy bag).

Would you have wanted to go if they hadn't included the gift list? Have to admit that except for the list, it sounds like quite a nice event if a little over the top.
You like these people, they are old friends, you don't really want to fall out with them.
If it were me I would go along and enjoy the event, ignore the stupid gift list and just take the type of gift for the child that I would normally take to a christening/naming event.
Treat the request for pricey prezzies like any other social gaffe: quietly ignore it and never mention it again.

I had a naming ceremony for DD as her welcome to the world. I didn't want a christening as we aren't religious.

We did not enclose a gift list and did not expect presents. Many guests did bring a little gift for DD along the same lines as a christening gift.

Presents for the mother? Grabby and really weird!

OMFG- no way would I go.

I know you are worried about causing offence but they have been so offensive it's not true.

it is utterly selfish of the mother to ask for things for herself and the fact that once the sub £40 things on the list have gone that everything is over £75 makes it so much worse.

I will never cease to be amazed at the shameless, self indulgent, money grabbing fuckers out there.

curmit they are also a newish thing, non-religious thing, think most are in this country anyway!

What are her other friends like? Are they likely to stump up for pampering days etc?

Reading between the lines, money's obviously not an issue here, but people are picky about spending it right.

No its not normal! We certainly didn't have list at my ds's - and we did have a 'thing' after, but just afternoon tea!

And people just bought presents for DS obviously, including the obligatory silver things which are now sitting in the loft along with the bible someone thought appropriate

sleep404 I didn't know that about naming ceremonies - I thought it was a newish thing that people had in place of a religious ceremony so I stand corrected :)

p.s. - I bet the missus with her gift list knows nothing about the origin or significance of a naming ceremony either! ;)

omg that's terrible! I don't understand why people think this is ok. I've heard of gifts for the baby but why on earth should the mother get gifts! I went to a naming ceromony the other day and got the child a book, although I am not sure the mother (my sister) was very impressed.

I would go with a gift for the baby. Do you know anyone else who is going? It's likely you will find they are just as outraged as you are and are intending on taking a small gift for the baby so you won't be the only one.

Do Jo Malone do haemorrhoid cream?

I wrote a massive post about this, this morning and my phone ate it.

I love gift list threads, to me they and wedding threads are the greatest joy of MN. This particular thread is the most grabby I've ever read. It honestly is so shocking .

I wouldn't go, but I would be desperate to know what others took. If you really want to go, take the lovely gift you've already bought, but they don't deserve it. Don't buy something else off that list.

I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. Firstly, did they have a wedding list and was that bonkers ? Secondly, do you know anyone else who is going ? I would love to know if anyone else invited thought that it was rude. If you do go, I'm begging that you come back to this thread and update.

I think the baby needs a CHildren's bible... Just in case he/she ever wants to marry in church. For the photos.

Also why are they naming an 8 month old baby. What has the little darling been called up until now? It sounds like they wanted to have a party and searched around for something unusual to use as a reason.

"they aren't having a Christening, so the norms for that sort of event don't apply. And there isn't a settled tradition in UK of what happens at naming ceremonies."

I disagree - it's the direct equivalent of a christening so the same rules should apply: no list, presents for the baby from immediate family and godparents, cards from everyone else.

I think Zillions has the best idea - they really do need a copy of Debretts's.

Could they have been talked into this by an enterprising events planner, who's trying to drum up business by inventing a New Thing?
It does sound a bit out of character. Perhaps things are ropey what with their first baby and someone has taken advantage of them a little.

Curmit, naming ceremonies are a cultural thing. In West Africa they predate the introduction of Christianity. Now that most traditional religions are in the minority in West Africa, they are a combination of tradition and a religious (usually Christian) ceremony.
The elders name the baby and pray for the baby. It's also a chance for the extended family to meet the baby. Presents (either for the baby or for mum) have absolutely nothing to do with it.

I like the idea of a tacky z-list celebrity exercise DVD for the mum, too, excellent idea.

I thought baby showers were grabby and rude, this is just gobsmacking.

Been to lots of naming ceremonies. Never once been given a gift list. She is taking the piss. Ignore, but go and enjoy her fancy hotel food. That will teach her.

"if you feel you must go to the ceremony then take the gift for the baby and don't get anything from 'the list'"

Hopefully everyone who goes will do that and the mother will be hugely embarrassed when she realises her pampering breaks and jewellery are not forthcoming...

Take the gift you have bought. No need to apologise for already having bought it. The day is for the baby not the mother. V greedy!

i'm sure you have some very important prior arrangement though.

and give the baby gift.

i've never heard of anything so ridiculous.

p.s. people who've had naming ceremonies: no offence! :)