To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

^^

Someone needs to explain what the difference between a currency holder and a wallet/purse actually is

About £180.

Someone needs to explain what the difference between a currency holder and a wallet/purse actually is.

What a totally bizarre thing to do! I'd be rather worried for my friend if I were you, sounds totally out of character!

pigletmania that is what the OP should do with her friend, say look, lists got mixed up, what would a baby do with a fancy wallet except chew it and then resume normal conversation whilst waiting for the reaction....

Good on you double, don't I repeat don't buy anything on the list. This is about the baby not her! I looked at that wallet , how cheeky and rude. I would next time you see the dh, show him the invitation and ask him if you have the correct list as there is nothing fr the baby on this one , evil cackle, and the items are a bit erm over budget. I bet his jaw will be scraping te floor.

. It seems I missed out at DDs christening then!

How bizarre - if they are close friends can you not ask them if they were joking??

We did Naming Ceremonies for both DSs. We told people that gifts were not expected, but if a guest wanted to they could make a donation to the local primary school where the DC would attend. We ended up with about £500 which we gave to the school towards new playground equipment.

The only reason I specified what to give was that I didnt want to end up with 30 silver money boxes!! (Still ended up with a bit of silver tat even then!!)

buy her a quarter of an acre of rain forest £25

It is so rude to dictate what people should buy, a list is a suggestions list for people who may need ideas, not a demand list.

It's a very elaborate joke, if that is the explanation.

I agree with others who have said this isn't of her own making. Someone - maybe the wedding planner? - has told her that this is a "done thing" and then put together a suggested list that she's agreed to.

If this is the case, though, how mortifying for her. How the hell is she going to get out of it?

Actually, OP, I would just be honest, as have always found its the best way to avoid major collisions.....scripts tend to sound like scripts!!

Can you just say "Wanted to check if what I have bought for the Christening is OK, because I had already bought something for but the list didn't seem to have any baby gifts on"

That is honest & factual, makes you appear concerned rather than critical, and is going to get one of three responses:
either an incredulous "what do you mean there is nothing on it for the baby" ( if its been a mistake or a rogue planner )
or an equally incredulous "you DIDN'T take it" seriously ( if it was meant to be a joke - and the monogrammed currency holder really makes me wonder if it is )
or she will say, "oh don't worry about it, I expected some people might go 'off list' and buy baby gifts" (or some similar thing which lets you off the hook, but reiterates that the gift list is indeed what she wanted to piut out there^ )

Approaching it this way, providing you don't react negatively if she does confirm that the list is 'as intended' and just move on to another topic, should ensure zero risk of it becoming an upset.

Just my spin.

What is a "currency case" anyway? A purse?

If the way the list is put together, as well as the things on it, doesn't seem to fit her usual style I'd be leaning towards the mistake explanation. Does the list actually say her name or the baby's name on it, or have the event details, or is it a separate sheet that could actually belong to someone else entirely.

Even if that's not the explanation it could be a tactful way to bring up the subject. Say that the list didn't quite seem what you were expecting and you just wanted to let them know in case the printer/planner had made a mistake and included someone else's wedding list with the invitations. If it really is a mistake it gives her a chance to sort it out, and if it wasn't but she now realises she was being utterly nuts it gives her a graceful get out clause.

Unbelievable! You must tell us how it all went. I hope this is the one faux pas she makes in her lifetime and not the start of a new trend or the sign of a serious break down.

that list is unbelievable

I think you're going about it the right way

Yep, event planner gone rogue. That's my bet. I think you are a great friend for broaching it with her, so many people would just refuse the invite or laugh behind her back. I do hope that it goes well when you speak to her.

I would go down the was this thing organised by a planner route if I were you and see what shakes out. If yes then mention the planner might have 'been a bit confused' about what normally goes on the list. If not then I think you risk a big row/falling out raking things further. It might not be a mistake in that case.

^Actually I'm now convinced its an event planner with pound signs commission in their eyes.

Say the invitation looks very professional and ask her if she's organising it herself. If she says no, ask her if she drew up the gift list herself. I bet it will all become clear at that point...^

Have read this thread thinking exactly the same thing!

OP in your shoes I would start by asking if she had an event planner. If yes then I would go to 'did you check the gift list? I fear they got a touch carried away' in your best sympathetic non-judgey voice. That gives her the heads-up and an excuse for it.
If no, then I would say you've already bought something for baby rather than a gift for her, so so sorry but you didn't think there would be stuff for her on the list, etc etc... Drag it out a bit, if she was for some other reason unaware, or temporarily insane and now recovered, she'll say something. If she doesn't take the hint then I'd leave it there and wait for the pfb fog to eventually lift and hope they don't do this again for any future DC

Good luck though :)

Well done for bringing it up. You are a nice friend. However, its very odd because its so unusual to send a list like that and most people would sense check it with someone usually a friend or relative. Whoever is advising your friend is not a very nice person IMO.

I think the list is her wish list, really, monogrammed currency holders! Its hardly essential is it? Surely no one is going to buy anything off this list. When the excuses start to come in, and no one is coming, she might realise why, but if she sent the list I doubt it.

Yes, be super careful when talking about it. Your approach seems good. She might say " what did you get?" And when you tell her, you can say " its xx"

You don't have to say " its for the baby, not you" as it might be inflammatory depending on her reasons for the list. I would see what she says tbh.

Is the list professionally done? Maybe the printer or planner made a mistake and mixed up lists. Maybe even now, there is a groups of people across the country saying " have you seen x list??!!- she wants books or donate to charity. Makes a change from the customised monogrammed currency holders at 200 a pop"

I quite like VB, never met her but I don't think she would hold a party like that. Don't designers give free stuff to celebs in the hope they will get photographed wearing it and cause an unseemly rush for the product?

Actually I'm now convinced its an event planner with pound signs commission in their eyes.

Say the invitation looks very professional and ask her if she's organising it herself. If she says no, ask her if she drew up the gift list herself. I bet it will all become clear at that point...

She is clearly having a barking mad stage, which to my mind would only add another delightful layer to what seems to be a fruit case fruitful friendship.

If it were me I would honestly suck it up, say nothing and embrace it. One day she will turn round and say 'was that ceremony a bit bonkers?' And you can laugh about it then. Now is not the time to rain on her parade and risk what is a great friendship. Best case if you raise it is she'll realise what everyone thinks and will be mortified, and what will that gain? And that's the best case outcome....

I think how you should approach this depends on whether or not this is the type of expense your circle of friends goes to when buying each other presents for weddings or significant birthdays.

If it is, then your suggestion is fine. Focus on the present for the baby rather than the mother angle.

But if it isn't, I don't think you can ignore the astonishing expense of what she is asking for. My friends are largely what might be described as middle class, as much as I hate that term and don't really identify myself that way. We do gifts for birthdays, and make more effort for weddings and 30th, 40ths etc. But never would any of us buy or expect anything like £200 for a monogrammed currency holder (whatever that actually is). If this is the case in your circle, I would just take the bull by the horns and directly ask if she is actually expecting people to provide these 'gifts' because they are somewhat more expensive than you would usually buy. Then back it up with "and shouldn't the present be for the baby anyway?".

I think she's using an event planner who gets commission on this stuff and has put the list in without your friend knowing about it. If not, it's either grabby beyond belief, or the sleepless nights have turned her into a loon

You need to talk to her about it, someone has to!