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Original poster

To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

992 replies

doubleshotespresso · 12/06/2013 23:38

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

OP posts:
roadkillbunny · 15/06/2013 18:49

Tears in eyes and a late supper after reading this thread.
You're an amazing compassionate friend.
I hope everything comes right for her and as for the planner, depending on what happens when you speak to him I would consider naming and shaming in the event planning world (what ever that may be, I am thinking on event planning message boards and the like).
Flowers to you both.

Pouncer1 · 15/06/2013 18:01

You sound like the most amazing friend, I wish I had a friend like you.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss :( I hope time will help and soon you will have your own LO. Big hugs.

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2013 17:18

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your baby doubleshot Sad Flowers

FrogGreen · 15/06/2013 17:11

doubleshot you are amazing. You have negotiated this impossible situation (which I would have failed at, honestly I could never have done as well as you have,) shown your friend such kindness and support all while dealing with your own loss... not simple... I am a little bit in awe.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure the other guests will see the funny side and the baby will end up with a better naming day than would have been otherwise (certainly very memorable.)

RandomMess · 15/06/2013 15:41

Aw What a lovely lovely update, so wonderful that you've helped your friend escape the grasps of the Elton John event planner Smile

ZillionChocolate · 15/06/2013 15:40

Aw doubleespressoshot, you sound bloody lovely!

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 15/06/2013 15:31

mumsyblouse if I am honest your post has really hit home. I have just realised how I came into this so late.... (Would normally have had lengthy tea sessions discussing all this sort of thing but.... ) i lost a baby about a month ago (not the first time ) so I have been very out of the loop if things recently and I think she has probably avoided enthusing about all these plans out of respect when actually I could have done with somethng positive to focus on..... Maybe I have avoided her a little bit too.......

The important thing is now to get her back on track and rested, we can sort this out I am sure, but yes I could not avoid this. I just knew that none of this was her style at all. It worried me so badly....

Nearly finished the note for guests.... Tried to pitch it with humour and humble honesty..... Will wait and let her read it when she wakes up in an hour or so..... Just got a call from her DH who is trying to get back from work tomorrow evening (up North at mo) to add support. That will be such a help if he can... Though I think he will need to go back for a couple of days early next week....

And the baby has stopped crying and is sleeping!!!!! For more than two hours now..... !!! All good so far....

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 15/06/2013 15:04

You are a great friend, not just for sorting this out but seeing she was struggling and taking her in for a bit. That first year is just so hard. So glad you didn't avoid her which would have probably been what I did and missed the real thing that was going on. Hope it goes ok from here on in.

FairPhyllis · 15/06/2013 14:43

Yes! I knew it must be a rogue planner!

Well done OP - you've done a really good deed for your friend.

MumnGran · 15/06/2013 14:41

Flowers and more Flowers
Expect the calls will be a major strain, but once done .... I hope your friend will feel better, and realise what a treasure you are

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2013 14:38

Read the thread!

amazingmumof6 · 15/06/2013 14:33

not read thread - but it is not normal.

gold-digger comes to mind

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 15/06/2013 14:15

frogGreen thank- you yes I will be your friend! I have a feeling when I do meet this said planner the compulsion to thump him with my biggest handbag will be overwhelming..... His card states he takes calls 7 days a week. We have left him a message.... Watch this space.

Just put friend to bed for a nap (baby has a cold and I don't think either have slept in 2 weeks!) boys have lunch now so am attacking the floor and pretending the mud is the planner.

Then I will put together a note for all guests that my friend can agree later and we can send it out asap to stop anybody buying from the poxy gift list. Then we will be phoning everybody as well.... Just to be safe.... She spoke this morning to her in-laws who were initially up in the rafters but were amazingly sweet when all was explained..... But annoyed she had not asked for help when she clearly needed it. . .

OP posts:
Nessalina · 15/06/2013 14:07

Well, thank goodness!! Really pleased that you got the poor lass sorted out - it definitely shows that honesty is the best policy!
Well done you and good luck to her! Flowers

FrogGreen · 15/06/2013 14:00

Been lurking but just popped in to say wow doubleshot and would you like to be my friend?

I hope your friend will be able to have a good giggle over this story some time when she's feeling more sane calmer with the new baby.

And I think you really really need to refer the wedding planner guy to this thread so that he can see what he did to your poor friend!

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2013 13:57

Enjoy! Wine Grin

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 15/06/2013 13:48

I think we may have wine this evening..........

OP posts:
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 15/06/2013 13:43

Thanks all for the lovely messages today. It has been a lovely morning, we have laughed and cried and have brainstormed a whole new plan for the day, more of that in a bit. We have a meeting scheduled at the hotal tomorrow morning and I have spoken with the manager there who will assist us with any and all changes. He could not have been kinder or more understanding. I have high hopes. When this is done, regardless of cost, we will be dispensing with the planner, who our friends' DH is keen to eliminate on hearing all this madness. Having read through the paperwork I do not see this being a huge problem as there is plenty of time yet to go.... And to be honest it all reads a it flakily too ..... He sounds like a real chancer!

In answer to a previous poster, yes the idea is apparently "growing" in Australia for gift lists for new mothers'. How grabby....

But for now the more pressing issue of cleaning up our 3 boys who have just returned from the muddiest EVER football match in the world. They are getting bathed and I would die on the spot if any of you were to see my hallway or kitchen floor right now- it looks like mud wrestlers have invaded!

Then lunch, settle kids with a movie and our marathon phone call blitz commences..... To inform all guests to disregard the gift list and then explain it will be a really very much more normal affair.

I cannot thank you all enough for the humour and support this thread has given me. I will post later with our revised and improved plans and hopefully a positive outcome of all the phone calls.

My friend is looking a little more human today and though tearful, is much more the person I recognise as the girl who has shared so many good memories with us. We have named the planner Elton John....

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 15/06/2013 13:02

You do have to read the thread, headless, to see how it turned out!

headlesslambrini · 15/06/2013 12:58

Play dumb - list what list? We didnt get a list in our invite.

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2013 12:29

Well done OP, you've been a true friend. Flowers

pigletmania · 15/06/2013 11:33

You two sound like great friends and iam glad you tod her in a gentle and non confrontational way

pigletmania · 15/06/2013 11:31

Oh that's fantastic, poor thing I think s got very overwhelmed ad did not knw how to deal with it. I would ditch planner tbh and have te day that you want not what somebody else wants

BeyonceCastle · 15/06/2013 11:25

Flowers for you
Brew for her

note to all like Lavender wrote
Well done OP

Smartiepants79 · 15/06/2013 11:21

Lovely ending.
You are a friend in the truest sense of the word.
Your were gentle but honest with her, putting her first even at the risk of your friendship.
I hope that now she has confided her struggles to someone she can start to get a bit of help and support. She sounds like a good person and mum.
Hope the naming day is wonderful.