I've just cupped my CO's penis by accident.

Noted Amber, noted

I stumbled on one of those buses with very high bench seats at the back and my nose ended up 3" from some poor chap's crotch The momentum meant I couldn't stand up straight for at least 10 seconds I ended up screeching "OH MY GOD SORRY SORRY" and we just went at each other

Please note OP has not denied it was Johnnie Boden....

I once accidentally fondled Colin Jackson's bum. I was a volunteer for some charity he was supporting and they had the lot of us in lines for a group photo, Colin was just in front of me to the left slightly. We had to put our fists in the air (to look young and dynamic I imagine A looooong time ago by the way!) and my left arm was in a L-shaped plaster cast. The photographer made me put up the uninjured arm so my left hand was just at (taut) buttock height

Oh god, it hurts! Crying here. You lot are bloody funny

Never groped anyone accidentally, but am loving this thread. Can't laugh though as am lying on the bed waiting for DD to go to sleep!

AdmiralCLingus has me. I can't breeeeeeeathe.

I have been the recipient of a crotch faceplant.

a good male friend of mine was sitting on a bench with some other friends, while the rest of us were standing facing them. this bench was at Glastonbury and my mate was shitfaced.

he drunkenly pitched forward off the bench, concentrated on holding onto his drink rather than putting his hands out to save himself and the only thing that stopped him landing on the floor was his face landing on my fanjo

Yup.

I saw his eyes water from 10 feet away.

There is the time that I bent down to pick up a DC that was on the floor mid-tantrum, when some random really fit man comes bowling round the corner, and walked directly into me...giving me a facefull of crotch...

Sidge, did she twist it like a doorknob?

So not only did I lower my left tit into a patient's cupped hand, but my colleague reached behind her without looking to open the Treatment Room door, and grasped instead a handful of the gentleman's area of the GP who had opened the door and come in without her noticing.

THAT'S the reason your family doctor never runs on time, readers, he's too busy being felt up by his nurses...

I'm looking to see if I can find an image on google to depict what happened but 'accidental groping' is throwing back some unsavoury results.

I don't understand talcs diagram:-(

This whole thread is bollocks!

I can't believe how many of us there are. No mans genitalia are safe!

Sodding hilarious.

I've never cupped a man's genitles by accident. I did however once whisper(rather suductively) 'there's some willy shaped chocolate over there' into what I thought was my boyfriend's ear.

It wasn't him, it was a random stranger who looked at me as if I was a lunatic.

Oh god, this takes me back to when I went ice skating with a friend about 5 years ago and she lost her balance and sort of lunged across the rink and put her hand out to save herself and grabbed hold of the crotch of a bloke leaning at the side. She saved herself from falling over by hanging on to his tackle for grim death.

The look on his face. He made a kind of pained 'Oooof!' noise.

Sniggers childishly at 'Well, I was leaning over into the mixed veg'.

i have groped my dentist. i was having an injection, so was grasping what i thought were arms on both sides of the chair. he went red, then i realised the chair only had one arm, and i had actually been gripping on to his inner thigh

yes in a 'this is a long standing member of staff and we are all so friendly and flowery here' kind of way...

Thankfully potential client was on the other side of CO so couldn't see offending hand.

Olivia tells me this is being put forward to the Classics Nomination sub committee. Which I think means they're all reading it with a cup of gin and a biscuit.

Your CO introduced you to someone who is hoping to become a client, and you went in for a hug?

That's very, um, friendly.

You are basically pressing your breasts against their bodies anyway, so really, what is a little cup of the balls?

Bollockcup him watching that'll show the bastard!

Islidur but ended up doing a weird stroke/cuppy thing. I'm belly laughing