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Original poster

I really struggle to get my head round weasels

288 replies

HoneyDragon · 06/06/2013 18:46

I've seen them. I know what they look like, and often catch them whizzing across the road at weasel warp speed.

But their size always surprises me. Every time. I know they are small. But when you look at a picture of a weasel or think weasel, you think bigger. You don't think "oh, a weasel. That's a little bigger than a hamster that is". Or I don't. I go, ooooh a weasel. Wow, it's tiny, every time, the surprise never abates.

I struggle with weasel physics. That the actual weasel is not the size of the concept of weasel in my head.

I'm not sure how to fix it. Confused

OP posts:
cardibach · 06/06/2013 20:44

That's when you are driving, not Neurotic Fox. And I teach English for a living. Usually before wine to celebrate Thirsty Thursday, though.

cardibach · 06/06/2013 20:42

Weasels are, indeed, unfeasibly small. Badgers are huge. We have an aggressive one living up the road - he eyeballs you most alarmingly when you drive past (after he has begrudgingly got out of the way). I ran over a badger once. Two distinct thuds for front and back wheels. Looked in the mirror, and it just kept on running. Bloody tough, badgers are.
We also have creature known as Neurotic Fox living near us. If you meet it in the lane when driving it leaps about in all directions unable to make a decision about where to go before finally choosing an escape route.
We also have Comedy Owl who hoots exactly like a bad cartoon.
It's all go here.

PipkinsPal · 06/06/2013 20:41

I read somewhere that a weasle can squeeze itself through a wedding ring. Either they are tiny or someone has fat fingers.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/06/2013 20:40

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monsterchild · 06/06/2013 20:38

Fascinating theory, Beertricks, could be, could be...

BeerTricksPotter · 06/06/2013 20:28

This reply has been deleted

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Hassled · 06/06/2013 20:27

GrumpyKat - I now have a mental image of a weasel in a dirty mac flashing through your cottage window.

This is because it seems my knowledge of small mammals is based entirely on cartoons, poor quality children's literature and my own stupidity.

Plomino · 06/06/2013 20:26

We have weasels in our field . If we take the dogs out last thing before sundown , sometimes we see them playing round the old muckheap . Have also seen them 'do the dance ' which is hilarious . Dogs were fascinated and forgot to chase them ! Once they realised we were there , they were gone like a flash . Also saw a barn owl pick one off the road when it ran in front of me going home , which was quite impressive (not great for the weasel though )

RetroHippy · 06/06/2013 20:26

'They' need to rename weasels with a name that accurately portrays the size and meanness.

But when I try to think of something suitable, all I can come up with is weesel. Hmm

PipkinsPal · 06/06/2013 20:26

It's a fab word - weasle. I could say it time and time again. I saw the back end of a weasle once. They are savage killing machines and will kill and drag rabbits which are much bigger than them back to their burrows.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 06/06/2013 20:24

Monster, you might be right. Well Rhinos and too much opium.

OP posts:
monsterchild · 06/06/2013 20:24

Beertricks, I agree, it's like the meerkats know they're being photographed. Only time until they start demanding royalties from those pics....

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges · 06/06/2013 20:23

Weasels have very annoying laughs. Trufact.

I also don't think naked molerats exist. I thing someone grafted some teeth onto a penis and took pictures. Sick bastard. But yeah - I think they're the modern day Fiji Mermaid.

littlewhitebag · 06/06/2013 20:23

Once they have been chewed up I am not sure the feet are identifiable tbh.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 06/06/2013 20:23

I think this thread has enough evidence to prove that weasels are in the wrong. Maybe we should petition parliament?

OP posts:
RetroHippy · 06/06/2013 20:22

I saw a weasel killing a rabbit while camping once (I was camping, not the weasel). The rabbit screamed.

Apparently it's a very rare thing to see and we were very lucky I don't think the rabbit felt lucky

I have a giant rabbit. He'd kick weasel ass.

monsterchild · 06/06/2013 20:22

I think rhinos were what fed the unicorn craze, rather than narwhales...

BeerTricksPotter · 06/06/2013 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/06/2013 20:20

This reply has been deleted

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/06/2013 20:20

Dinosaur bones? Maybe they thought they were giant horses.

GrumpyKat · 06/06/2013 20:19

We hired a cottage in the Cotswolds once, and there was a weasel in the garden. It used to flash past the window at the speed of weasel sound about four times a day. He was weeny. Weasel physics= Tiny, speedy and MEAN.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 06/06/2013 20:18

I don't understand how people believed it either. The horns are massive taller than me (yes I know not hard) but still, would need a fucking big horse to keep it up.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 06/06/2013 20:17

Pointy.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneyDragon · 06/06/2013 20:17

Shrews have pointing noses

OP posts:
Dozer · 06/06/2013 20:17

Am sure have seen fuck weasel on MN (obviously about someone with a penis LRD, perhaps not the Farthing Wood author mind you).

Have never seen any of these creatures in RL, dead or alive. Only rats, scratty foxes and grey town mice. Does that mean we are not living the country dream?

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