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This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
PenelopeCruiserliner · 10/06/2013 23:12

One of the most fantastic MN threads ever!!! And just in time for Father's Day!

So delighted for you - enjoy your new extended family.

marriednotdead · 10/06/2013 22:54

Woohoo! Just popped back to see how far you'd managed to get. I had no doubt that MNetters would find your family, but not quite so quickly.

Dead chuffed for you Smile

PrincessFiorimonde · 10/06/2013 22:47

MissyMoo, that's such excellent news! Well done to everyone who helped.

Hope you have a great time next weekend.

Southsearocks · 10/06/2013 22:40

Just popped back here as you're on my "watch" list and I'm so glad I did - yippee for you OP!! Just wonderful. Mumsnet is cracking! Jolly well done genealogists in the Team Grin

Pleaseputyourshoeson · 10/06/2013 22:39

Bloody brilliant. Bloody brilliant! Wishing you all the happiness and it is heartwarming to see MN ers come together like that!

MuddlingMackem · 10/06/2013 22:38

Wow MissyMoo, fantastic news.

So pleased for you. Grin

JewelFairies · 10/06/2013 22:36

Grin Grin

StripeyYogurt · 10/06/2013 22:20
Grin
VivaLeBeaver · 10/06/2013 22:06

Ha, have just been on FB and see you found your cousin on the group I suggested. I'm so pleased that worked out, I really did think someone on there would know him.

It's a shame no one answered when I asked on it last week. I bumped it a few times but its quite a quick moving group so I guess if someone isn't online when it's active it soons gets lost.

MarthasHarbour · 10/06/2013 22:00

Oh wow, just wow (75 cousins!! Shock )

I have been following this thread all week and am thrilled for you xxx

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 10/06/2013 21:50

Sorry, so focused on you didn't acknowledge the amazing team of vipers who got you here.
Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks
you wicked, toxic, evil horrors GrinGrinGrin

Watching you work together has been astounding.

Best Mumsnetters, best women, best humans.

Happiestinwellybobs · 10/06/2013 21:37

I've been watching your thread since the beginning and am so chuffed for you. The wonderful power of MN strikes again Grin

KenDoddsDadsDog · 10/06/2013 21:25

Utterly brilliant ! So thrilled for you OP.

Lollyheart · 10/06/2013 21:13

Fantastic news , Grin
Started reading this thread a hour or so ago, soooo happy to get to the end to see you have found him Smile

ohmeohmyforgotlogin · 10/06/2013 21:13

Seem to have something in my eye. Well done you lot and all the best OP

WeAreEternal · 10/06/2013 21:10

I have been lurking on this thread and I am so so SO happy for you Missy.

MN is a truly amazing place.

coribells · 10/06/2013 21:10

Delurking to say, wow, just wow. GrinGrinGrin

zipzap · 10/06/2013 21:03

Oh yes - and take a copy of this thread for you too op, it will be lovely to look back on in years to come!

Has anybody reported this thread - in the nicest possible way! - to mn towers for them to move it into classics yet - or even just to let them know that such a lovely friendly happy life changing thing has just happened in the depths of the Chat section... Bet they would enjoy it too Grin

LayMizzRarb · 10/06/2013 21:02

I got to the end of this thread after reading it in one go. I am in tears - just in time for Father's Day!
Good luck - I wish you very happiness! XX

Jux · 10/06/2013 20:57

Just read your thread, Missy. How exciting, so pleased for you.

It's threads like this that make me love MN.

Thanks
longjane · 10/06/2013 20:51

WOW WOW WOW

so glad you have found really really really pleased for you

hope you get the answers you need

take a copy of this thread for them before it goes

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 20:45

My cousin just messaged me, he went to see my Dad, forgot to take my number with him though, he was shocked when he found out that I had been in touch, but really happy, he nearly keeled over when my cousin told him he had 4 more grandchildren Grin my cousin is popping back again in the morning with my number and he is going to call me then. Its going to be a long, long night.

Have I said cousin enough since I found him haha?

I really need a bigger face to fit this smile onto you know Grin Grin Grin

I don't really mind if this gets kept, I will ask the other people who are named when I speak to them (next weekend, did I mention?) and it shows what amazing people MNers are, this has literally changed my life forever. I have a family again solely down to MN, I would never have found him if it wasn't for this thread.

OP posts:
GoofyIsACow · 10/06/2013 20:43

Wow! Amazing thread, i hope they are all you wish for Missy :)

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 10/06/2013 20:33

Oh sod respectable Grin

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 20:29

He isn't in B now, but he isn't far away though.

Zipzap thats good advice. I can barely remember my DCs names most of the time so I stand no chance with 75 cousins and 8 Aunties and and Uncle and my Dad Grin Grin Grin

Thank you Bore Blush I forgot I put those pictures on, I was obviously going through a phase of posing and dragged my dc along with me haha.

I didn't actually consider my beaver of steel Grin I should probably have name changed before this, I was worried that I wouldn't seem genuine if I posted under a new name looking for someone.

Just for the record (in case any of my new found relatives discover thread) my username is down to a comment made to me just after I had my son. A random elderly lady asked me how much he weighed when we were out shopping, I told her he was 9lb 2oz, she then asked if I had stitches Shock so I told her I didn't and she said 'Gee whizz love, you must have a beaver of steel' then just wandered off. I thought it was really funny so put it as my username. Its not quite so funny now I have to try and portray myself as respectable haha.

OP posts: